Killing me softly - Sokka x reader
SUMMARY: Having only heard good things about Sokka, you always wanted to see how great he is for yourself. When you finally get the opportunity, you struggle to find him as funny as everyone said. Â
This is based off the song killing me softly by the fugees which you can listen to: here! or there is a version by zhavia: here!
I strongly suggest you listen to the song because I think the whole vibe you get from it will get you in the mindset for this (and hopefully distract you from how poorly this was executed AHAH)
WARNINGS: angsty vibes. tried to have a hopeful ending but idk if it worked lol. poor writing skills.
A/N: ahA I really couldnât get this idea out of my head so here we are! most certainly did not do this concept/ song fic justice to the way I imagined it but lol this shit low key hurted my feelings but also tried to turn it around? Idk I think this is okay?
KEY:Â words in-between dividers = lyrics MY MASTERLIST: here!
I heard he sang a good song, I heard he had a style
And so I came to see him, to listen for a while
And there he was, this young boy, a stranger to my eyes
You knew nothing and everything about him all at the same time. Hakoda allowed you to join them as they recruited people across the nations to prepare for invasion day. In doing so, you unknowingly signed a non-verbal contract to hear all the stories and jokes about his son, Sokka. Of course, he spoke highly of his daughter, but there was an unrelenting sense of pride and joy that came with hearing about him.
âYouâll really enjoy speaking with him y/n. He can take any dull or sad moment and turn it into something that will make you laugh beyond your years. Heâs been through so much, but heâs become the warrior I knew he was always destined to be.â
It was impossible not to want to meet him. You wanted to hear the stories in the flesh as he became the light in the darkness of this war.
Yet when he finally boarded the ship with his friends after Ba Sing Se, thatâs all he became, a story. As a mechanic and strategist, your time was booked to the brim, building upon the plans Sokka created himself. Somehow, you managed to have interactions with Katara and Toph, even Momo, but being in the same room as Sokka? Impossible. You werenât avoiding him by any means, and neither was he, it just seemed that even when confined to the space of a ship your duties dragged both of you into different directionsâŠ. Until now.
Finally having time to relax as you finished reviewing a draft for one segment of the invasion, you made your way mess hall in a desperate search to consume any food you could get your hands on. Walking in, Toph perked up at feeling your presence when entering the room. Considering you were always busy when working on something and she was not too chatty, you got along well with minimal conversations and comfortable silence.
You grab a bowl, filling it to the brim with fresh soup and sat at their table across from her. Feeling content as you feel the soups warm and wholesome scent fill your senses, you glance around to see who else is sitting at the table. Eyes zeroing in on Sokkaâs frame at the other end of the table, your breath instantly hitches. Suddenly your face feels as warm as your soup, and you want to kick yourself for letting yourself be so affected just by your incredibly short glance at him. Shifting your focus back to your soup you make the painfully obvious decision to focus all of your attention towards it, only listening to their interactions around you. You reminded yourself that you didnât truly know him, only what everyone else has told you. You knew better than to let yourself become a total fool for the Watertribe boy without having any proper interactions with him. Hence, youâd be lying if you said you werenât at the edge of your seat in anticipation to see Sokka joke around and tell stories with your friends. After all, that is what you were told about from the moment you met his father.
Strumming my pain with his fingers (one time, one time)
Singing my life with his words (two times, two times)
Killing me softly with his song
Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
The excitement quickly dissipated when he began to dive into this eveningsâ jokes and anecdotes.
âGuys! You wouldnât believe it!! I was exploring the ship after training today, and I found all of these Fire Nation scrolls about their art and folktales in one of the rooms, and let me tell you, itâs a load of shit!â
As everyone laughed, you momentarily stopped breathing. Your entire being began to fold into itself, terrified at the prospect of him taking all of the things you favoured about your childhood and rip them to pieces.
Katara attempted to see the light in his statement. âCome on Sokka it canât be that bad! I mean even the Watertribe has some questionable stories, I remember even the one Gran Gran told was a bit-â
âNo, Katara! This is by far soooo much suckier than those stories. Okay, so thereâs this one about dragons right? What happens is that thereâs this Dragon Emperor who becomes bound to a mortalâs body by a Dark Water Spirit. So obviously! I was expecting this super cool battle or revenge plot, but in the end, they turned it into this lame love story where the Dragon Emperor falls in love with a mortal who turns out to be the Dragon Empress!â
âAw I think thatâs sweet! I mean surely there would have been a battle with the Dark Water Spirit so it wouldnât have been a total loss?â
âUgh, Katara! You donât get it! Itâs just⊠sooooo oogie! They shouldnât have done that. It should have been a story about battle, and warriors! I mean come on, thatâs all the Fire Nation is good for right? Destruction and battle. So why did they have to ruin that story like that with all of that lovey stuff?! It just seems like nothing good can ever come out of the Fire Nation.â
Taking another mouthful of the soup, you kept your face downward as everyone laughed at Sokkaâs exclamation of hatred for the nation you grew up in. No one knew where you grew up there except Hakoda, and you liked it that way. In complete fairness to you, it wasnât your entire identity since your mother was from the Earth Kingdom, and you only spent the first seven years of your life there. But that didnât mean it hurt any less when he tore apart the only things you dearly loved as a child.
Toph sensing your discomfort as you didnât join in their amusement, she swiftly diverted the conversation into a new direction. While you were grateful, the thought of being in his presence any longer made you want to cry. It clearly didnât work either as he continued to joke around about the food and other small things he picked up about the nation throughout their journey. Silently finishing up, you didnât say a word or even give a half-hearted smile as they all laughed. Placing your bowl in the sink, you headed straight to your room.
The actions made everyone at the table confused, yet no one spoke out about it. Afterall, no one really knew you personally, nor did they understand what caused you to cut your interaction with them so short. Sokka himself became particularly curious. Afterall just like you, he heard many great things about you from his father, admiring your kindness and work ethic from afar. So, to say he wasnât hurt that you chose not to stay longer or even crack a genuine smile, would be a lie.
Making it to your room, you took out any piece of paper or a scroll you used for your plans and began to pour out your pain onto to pages until you passed out from exhaustion. Not caring what contents were on the other side, you allowed yourself to be unfiltered.
You knew Sokka didnât mean any harm; everyone laughed. He became the light you oh so desired to witness for yourself. Deep down, you knew you would have laughed too if it werenât for the fact that he took the few happy memories you had with your father and set it on fire. A fire that produced the light you wished to see⊠but it seemed it wasnât in the right way you hoped for.
I felt all flushed with fever, embarrassed by the crowd
I felt heâd found my letters and read each one out loud
I prayed that he would finish, but he just kept right on
You sighed as you finally finished fixing the pipes in the lower decks of the ship, once again tired and done with todayâs work, you went to the mess hall for a late dinner.
âHey Hakoda, I finished the plumbing problem so no one on the second floor should have any troubles now.â
âThanks, y/n! You really are such a valuable person in this team. Youâre always making sure everything is up and running.â
âOf course! What would you do without me? After all, letâs not forget how I spend my free time with your invasion plans.â You joked.
Turning your back to him to scoop some food onto your plate, he spoke up from behind you. âOh right! That reminds me, I mentioned your ideas to Sokka earlier, and he seemed to really like them! But Sokka being Sokka, he got so excited over them and asked so many questions I didnât even know how to respond. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know heâs probably at your desk analysing all of your scrolls right now. That kid never seems to be able to contain his excitement.â
âYeah, thatâs oka-âabruptly, you dropped your plate as your brain processed the information. If he was looking at your plans, then that meantâŠâŠ
Not even giving the Watertribe chief another glace or end to your response, you ran. Taking the fastest route to your room, everything in your mind and your surroundings became blurred, and you became hyper-focused on the fact that Sokka probably found what you wrote about him. Desperately trying not to cry as you bumped into people in the hallways, you couldnât think of anything worse to happen in this very moment. The very idea of him knowing how you felt about him as well as how his words affected you made you want to scream. Maybe if you got there in time, he wouldnât have read enough to understand your feelings fully. But when you bust through your door, it was too late. Sokka stood near your desk, with all the scrolls you ever wrote on scattered around the room. Some lay on your bed, the floor, across the desk, and even one in his hands.
âM- my dad said that you had a lot of perfect ideas for the invasion. B- but I- I found⊠I never thoughtâŠâ His eyes never met yours as he continued to read the current scroll in his hands.
You slowly approached him, not caring as you walked over every word you wrote on the floor. âSokkaâŠâ You silently begged him to stop reading, unsure of its contents.
He kept reading clearly in shock at the words before him, âwhy didnât you s-say something?â
You sighed, somewhat unsure of how to approach the situation. âItâs not my place ââ
He threw the scroll to the ground, finally looking up at you with bloodshot eyes as tears streamed down his face. âWHAT DO YOU MEAN ITâS NOT YOUR PLACE Y/N! It is your place! You had⊠no, you HAVE every right to say something! You sat there that night as I picked away at every single thing you ever loved, and you didnât say a thing! Why would you let me do that to you!â Sobs wracked his body, falling to his knees in front of you. Torn apart on the inside about how much he hurt you. He never wanted this to happen, not just because of his small crush on you- that didnât matter at this very moment. The very idea that he hurt someone who was so kind and selfless as a person, ruined him.
Beginning to feel immensely guilty for his current state, you knelt down to his level. Placing your hands to his wrists, you gently moved his hands away from his face. âSokka⊠hey, Sokka look at meâŠâ
As he looked at you, you struggled to keep your composure as tears began to fill your own eyes.
âItâs okay. What you said hurt, I donât need to explain that for you to know it. Even though it felt like a small dig into who I am as a person and what I grew up to love, itâs true. What the Fire Nation did, what they are doing is awful, but I canât speak up to defend them. I am in many ways apart of them. I grew up there, I celebrated their holidays, cooked and ate their food, and read their folktales. As much as I hate what the words âFire Nationâ symbolises to the rest of the world, to you, itâs a part of who I am. No one can take that away from me, not even myself. Despite how much it hurt me, I canât get mad at you or anyone because your feelings, and everything you said, is valid.â Moving his arms out of your grasp, he wrapped himself around you, holding you close to his chest.
âIâm so sorry. Iâm sorry. Iâm sorry. You didnât deserve to hear that, youâre amazing y/n. You deserve to be treated with the kindness and love you give to everyone on this ship. Iâm sorry. I was wrong. Iâm going to be better, I promise. I promise.â Overcome with emotion, the tears you tried so hard to hold back burst at his words.
Strumming my pain with his fingers (one time, one time)
Singing my life with his words (two times, two times)
Killing me softly with his song
Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
Neither you nor Sokka bothered to move from your intertwined embrace on the floor of your room. You were both a sobbing, crying mess. The pain from both of you suffocated the air around you as you cling onto one another for forgiveness.
Forgiveness for being from the very place that caused him so much pain.
Forgiveness for being unable to embrace so much of who you are.
The pain was unrelenting as he weaved his fingers through your hair, shifting so your nosesâ and foreheads against one another as he whispered words begging for forgiveness. Wishing, praying, to the Spirits he could take it all away. Sokkaâs heart burns from the raging pain that has awoken inside of him. He doesnât stop running his fingers through your hair almost as if he can stroke away the broken pieces inside of you, looking for new ones underneath so he can start again. Because despite his resentment for where you came from, he knows that to him, you are like a divine angel. You both have your own complex and conflicting backgrounds of life, but he has a desperate desire to care for you in a way he will never be able to explain.
You wanted to lie to him. Say it didnât hurt, say you could forget. You could do it easily, but you wouldnât. Knowing you both suffered enough, you didnât want to do something that could potentially cause each other more pain. This was enough. As you both continued to cry, holding one another with his hands still in your hair, you leant back slightly, bringing a shaky, tender hand to his cheek.
Looking up into his eyes, itâs awfully evident how much pain swims in his beautiful shades of blue. Yet, there seems to be an unspoken understanding as you see a small glimmer behind all the tears. The light you have been yearning for. He sees it in your eyes too. Neither of you can change or take back whatâs already been said, but in this very moment thereâs hope. You know you can move forward and heal together.
âWeâre going to be okay.â
A/N: hi friends!! I hope you liked this one đ
TO THE TAGLIST: hi all! i was a bit torn on what to do here because i wasnât sure if you all only wanted to be tagged in my zuko series or my other works as well?? so im so sorry if you didnât want to be tagged in this so please just let me know if youâd only like to be on the list for the series, zuko, sokka or other characters in general :)
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