x x @noparty-allpoison - Tumblr Blog

i explained the phenomenon to my boyfriend pre diagnosis and where i feel like i think or feel a certain way and it just goes away after i verbalize it yea that's ocd babes

my bf is a saint my bpd drop kicked his ass off the pedestal today said i hate you and everything and we still made up

#losing my marbles

got up from bedrotting for 8 hours just to go car rot

#hopeidie

cant talk to him anymore bro's got me posting vagues on tumblr to make sure nobody in his life knows how i feel. not even him

#maybe hopefully hed get bored lf log on for the first time in forever #and see these #and think im gonna give my gf a nice big hug #every time i feel even a little sad #or even maybe everytime he see me!#imagine how luch happier id be if he just hugged me upon seeing me everyday #so i can stop holding in mine every time i see him #like ive done everyday for 7 almost 8 years #i hope i die tonight

maybe if i explained condescension to you youd understand how i feel. 50/50 chance at changing due to it tho

tell me im wrong and never even tried again im close

ive never earned what i need and yet i beg for it

#everything i require is wrong and too much or ridiculous #believe or fucking not i do have coping skills!!! just not ones he likes! who would want to hug this monster anyways!!!!!#fuck that stupid bpd chick anyways it's not like u want to marry them #talking it out doesnt matter when you have bpd!#havent u heard

i want to ghost everyone so bad

#disappear

my disorder is embarrassing and i have to keep it to myself for his sake

#i cant even joke about it #its a slap in the face after all ive put him though #i destroyed that man #hes already so traumatized and then he gets a bpd gf im disgusting

i'm tired of all the things he's said over the years echoing in my head everyday when i do my morning routine

#putting on eyebrows and trying to reassure myself he said them for a reason #hes just protecting me #bad things would happen to me without him #i changed for him so i can be better #im still not done never #cut the behaviors out cut the thoughts out

i'm so sick of being patient

#i feel like we're still at the beginning

oldbutchdanielmolloy

when the television show makes you feel bad on purpose

dogpuppy

"on my hot girl shit" i think as i sit on the floor naked on a towel after taking noods for my boyf bc im depressed but i'm still hot and the grind don't stop

#muahahha #anhedonia

does flailing around and biting yourself count as a ritual

#ocdorsomethign

bruh

#dont even care about the traffic keeping us apart #anhedonia #can i get uncooked or maybe just undercooked rhis time

persianmom-deactivated20260602

#if you love them

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