#1 Jonghyun and the art of storytelling
I waited a very long time before starting The Norepang Project. The main reason for my delay was that I wanted to begin writing about the perfect topic. Unfortunately, I simply couldn't figure out such a theme could be. And then, suddenly, came Spring. April is a special time of the year for me and thousands of other K-Pop stans in the world. This is the moment when we can cheerfully remember and honor one of the most talented and creative artists this industry ever had. This month is not about feeling blue or melancholic, it is about caring and cherishing his work, the other Shinee members, our fellow Shawols and our own love for him.
So, even though the 8th of April has come and gone, I decided to begin the TNP by digging in every single Jonghyun solo album. I am not talking about discussing his title tracks or B-Sides. What I intend to do is to read every single one of them as a book. Better, as a story. A story, Jonghyun, the poet, is telling us.
Our journey begins with Base*. Like most of Jjong's tales, this is one about love. But it may just be a little more poetic and less obvious than it appears at first sight. A man meets a woman, and he is rather taken aback by how attracted by her he is. Moreover, the temptation she presents is so strong that, even though she doesn't appear to correspond to his feelings, at least not on a deep emotional level, he can't help himself but pursue her. Or yet, as he seems to believe at the time, to fall into her trap. Truthfully, part of the reason why he likes her so much is that their feelings for each are unbalanced. He knows it. He enjoys it. He isn't blaming or shaming her for it, unlike his friends.
"They tell me not to get close to you, even your attractive eyes
âSee, she targeted him againâ
They say Iâll get hurt if I give her all my heart
The funny thing is, the pathetic thing is
Even when youâre being cunning
Youâre so attractive, itâs so fatal"
- Crazy (Guilty Pleasure)
Because his desire is too big to contain, he runs after her. During this chase, his admiration for her grows deeper and deeper.
You give me greater
feelings than awe (feel so good)
You make me sing as if Iâm praying
Singing hallelujah,
you got me singing hallelujah
The day I saw you for the first time
I probably used up all the luck in my life
But itâs worth it. Youâre amazing, what to do with you?
-Hallelujah
And their time together is bright and sweet. It's a darling night under the moonlight. These are moments he keeps coming back to during the day, they are the source of his newfound joy.
Letâs get up now, why is it so sad?
Weâve been saying the same things for the past 30 minutes
I canât hold your hand,
let go of your hand or hug you
So Iâm only looking at your pretty eyes,
nose and red cheeks and lips
- Beautiful Tonight
But something is strange though. It is as if, under the stars' gaze, he is finally able to unravel her true self. A person she constantly tries to hide from the outside world with a cold mask. But this truer self is even brighter, is neon. She opens up a whole new set of colors for him to paint his life with.
"Donât try to hide, Iâm scared of your cold eyes
I saw the light that is you, who canât be caught
Donât let go of my hand
When morning comes,
when I meet someone, I feel it
The color of the world without you is boring
Even without lights, you shine even brighter
Even without lights, you shine brighter than anyone else
Show me today, show me your real face
She is a NEON, shine your light"
- Neon
However, simultaneously, he begins to be burdened by his circumstances. It's a paradoxical sensation: he enjoys their push-and-pull dynamic, the "danger" inherent to it, he can't even imagine being without her... but he seems frustrated.
"I knew I would get hurt if I touched you but I denied it
And I squeeze you even tighter
Both sides of the blade dig into me
I try to cut you out but I can take this much
Iâm already disinfecting my weakened min with alcohol
Because the sin is so much sweeter than its consequences
It was already too late to stop
Iâm falling deeper"
- Crazy (Guilty Pleasure)
And is due to this emotional unease felt by the narrator, that we reach the climax of the tale. These lovers to-be have a dialog. A dissonant duet, so intimate that it resonates like whispers in our ears. Love Belt is about two people opening up about their fears concerning love and a relationship. On one hand, they are scared together: about the external judgment, about the intensity and speed of these feelings. They wish to hold tight and protect one another. On the other hand, each one of them has their own concerns. This why here we are able to listen to two different voices. He is desperate and anxious: the yearning to fulfill his desires, the terrible sensation that she might slip through his fingers. She is fearful and insecure: about diving into the unknown (the dark night, the deep sea...), about the intensity of his sentiments.
"When youâre feeling frustrated
And want to get away
When youâre feeling nervous for no reason
We know, since we were born,
I feel you, propose a toast (cheers)
You donât say it but I feel it, just like twins
I pretend to not care but Iâm scared,
Hold me tight when I tremble
Because of my selfishness, I always hurt you but
Forgive me, Iâm sorry"
- Love Belt
For me, the most beautiful aspect of this song is that, even though it's supposedly a dialog of lovers in despair, terribly needing each other's protection, the melody is soothing and intimate. At first sight, however, what might appears contradictory is natural: they need to open up and talk about their differing perspectives, but they are already in love. Furthermore, is if he already sensed the source of her insecurities. Jonghyun, through his lyrics, indicates that she is hiding her true self from the world, afraid of being exposed, almost as if she believes to be undeserving of affection. The narrator tries to sue her concerns.
I lack nothing when I have you by my side
I can do everything,
I can shine on my own
Donât leave me alone in the dark night
Donât go anywhere by yourself,
you know (You know what Iâm saying)
Even without lights, you shine brightly
Even without lights, you dazzlingly shine
Show me today, show me your real face
(show me the real you)
She is a NEON, shine your light
- Neon
Jonghyun tries to soothe ours: You deserve love too. You have to love yourself.
Somehow the first track of the album, Deja-boo already outlines this whole plot. There is one-side love, growing affection, deep desire, and a promise of protection.
"Stay, Oh Itâs a deja vu
Oh deja vu, I saw you before, yeah you saw me right?
Iâm not like the others
I wonât make you cry and leave like him"
- DĂŠjĂ Boo
I like to believe, that since Deja-boo is so upbeat and sensual and, like Fortune Cookie is about intertwining destinies, they lived happily ever after.
**** SO I HAVE TALKED ABOUT MONODRAMA BUT THE TEXT IS TOO LONG. PROMISE TO DO SO SOON.
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