Nori's Black Book

My Mom's a Superstar All From a Home Movie

[norisblackbook]

Wow. So mommy announced a new product launch before acknowledging my birthday. You would think after 7 years I'd be used to the disrespect, but I admit it still stings. Over the years, I've learned that if I want something done, I gotta do it myself. So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! None of this would be possible without me. The money, the fame, the successfully hidden pregnancies...none of it! Today I am going to focus on self-care. Meaning I just want to relax and have the Malikas keep the kids in the backyard for the day. Thank you to my fans. You guys always stayed 10 toes down. For my birthday, all I ask is that you give what you can to the 'Dream Kardashian Hope Fund'. When she wins, we all win. Drop a comment below to let me know how you will be celebrating me today.

[norisblackbook]

Now that it has been reported that Auntie Kylie is not a billionaire ( I mean, she's only worth $900 million? Embarrassing.), I've advised Stormi that she should take up a trade like a dental assistant or photography. I'm not saying she needs the money, but you want to make sure you're protected financially in case anything happens. It's the same advice I gave Mason when his mom quit KUWTK to start a blog.

[norisblackbook]

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Ms. Personality over here has been with us for almost a year and has done nothing. By the time I was her age I had been in Vogue. I asked her if she was interested in designing for @thekidssupply and she said no because she's setting boundaries. I wonder who she got that from... https://www.instagram.com/p/Br8txplhgPu/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1yulmkdb5e6a

[norisblackbook]

Guess who had to use all of her frequent flyer points so the Disicks could come to Bali.

[norisblackbook]

Happy Birthday, P! Your time in Italy has done wonders for your sense of style, although I admit that I miss seeing you running around Calabasas barefoot and in a crop top. You are a great cousin and I can’t wait to hire you one day. 

[kuwkimye]

[norisblackbook]

I’m thinking about buying it.

[norisblackbook]

[kuwkimye]

[norisblackbook]

Braids by mommy.

[kkingkyliejenner]

[norisblackbook]

Everyone is scared of something. In my younger years, I was scared of the monsters that I thought lived under my bed and it’s clear that Stormi is terrified of auntie Kylie’s lips. But I’d tell Stormi the same thing mommy told me about the monsters to help me not be afraid anymore: They’re not real and make sure to bring this up in your next therapy session. 

[kylizzlemynizzle4shizzle]

[norisblackbook]

Quick economics lesson: When you flood the market with a product, the demand goes down. Stormi is flooding the market with pictures of herself and now her audience is bored. With Chicago we want every time you see her to feel like the first time, so we're strategic with our photo release dates. Quality over quantity. However, Saint you can see him whenever you want, just ask.

[lola313]

[norisblackbook]

The bird is serving more face.

[kylizzlemynizzle4shizzle]

[norisblackbook]

I'm so glad she gets a night out without the baby. Taking care of Stormi is a full time job so I support her going out with her friends and having her 'me' time. Auntie Kylie is probably happy to get out of the house too. Swatching concealers can be a fulltime job as well

[norisblackbook]

We are producing a new show called ‘You Kiddin’ Me”.  It’s a prank series where the kids are in charge and celebrities must do everything their own children say. In the first episode, The Disick kids will tell Scott he has to get a job. The look on his face when they told him he actually has to work for money was hysterical. He was relieved to find out it was just a prank and then he went to Vegas. 

[baddiexpapi]

[norisblackbook]

Mind you. This is the same woman who won't let us put our elbows on the table.

[kuwkimye]

[norisblackbook]

Madonna makes Kris look age appropriate. 

[enlightedfairyteller]

[norisblackbook]

Stormi made her debut with a filter. Wonder where she got that idea? This is the problem with a big family. No one has any originality. It's the reason I do not let P attend my fittings anymore.

[norisblackbook]

Auntie Kylie had Stormi one month ago and she looks great! It's not easy losing weight after the baby is born... ask Uncle Rob.