A Normal daily journal

Hi. Here's my random dribbles of life :) My main art blog: @normalayasstuff

[normalayacom]

How are you today? A lot has happened over the one year I'm in college.

I made a lot of new friends. I love drawing again. And even now I'm planning to make merch with my art. Something I never thought I would be doing 2 years ago.

I'm coming out of my shell, accepting some parts I didn't knew exist within me. Like admitting I'm asexual, and an ally by heart. I'm even making some merchs with lgbtq flags in the near future for an event.

I'm not afraid to love someone or say I love them out loud. Maybe still a bit embarrassed, but over time, I know I can say it daily to my loved ones.

I'm in a better place now, really. And I'm glad for doing what I did in the past, both the good and bad ones. It helped me to mold this current version of myself.

And now I know, I never hate myself. I just hate the way I tried to solve things in the past, even tho it eventually helped me to get here now.

So, I don't hate it. I tried to make peace with it. Saying I love myself is a bit too far-fetched right now, but, I know I'll get there eventually. "Like it always did."

[normalayacom]

Hey, been a while, isn't it?

I've been well, and many good things have happened too. I got into college and all that jazz, unlike the doubt growing inside me has been telling me all this time.

A different struggle has started now. I wonder if I can go past this maze once again, only with my determination and stubbornness.

Maybe it's easy, maybe it's not. But I'll find out later or sooner anyway.

So, don't feel guilty whenever you look back. You can take a peek but never stop your track. Okay? Love you, see you.

[normalayacom]

I'm here. Always has been. I'm not going anywhere.

So please, myself. Trust in Me. And you'll realize, I'm always there by your side.

[normalayacom]

Welp. Surely the thought that my doubt is the source of everything that hold me back to be myself never crosses my mind.

[normalayacom]

I'd like to think there's always something, someone, that wait at the end of the road. Sitting by the edge, looking down the path in faithful hope that someone will arrived eventually to find them.

What does this represent of? It could be a result, answer, things we desire, goals, or just simply the end of the path. The possibilities are endless.

But what road am I talking about? Each person has different answers. I think that's something only You know about.

[normalayacom]

"Yang penting usaha dulu, ntar hasil yang setara akan mengikuti."

Or in english, "Just work hard first, the equivalent result will follow soon."

I don't know if it was said by someone in the past, or it was a recreation of my brain from various quotes that I came up with this amalgamated quote myself.

But, is it really enough, to simply do your best without knowing what exactly you need to work hard on, and what shall it impact in the future?

I don't think so.

[normalayacom]

Is it really alright to ask for the best? I think my logic and heart knows the answer. And so do you.

[normalayacom]

Sometimes I forgot the feeling of letting go. That me pushing myself to be better constantly, is just my brain holding my heart to yearn more of my passion.

[normalayacom]

Oh right.

New pfp.

This time a bit less messy :b

[normalayacom]

my sister

This’s sister.

[normalayacom]

Hai.

Yup, I'm totally Normal. Haha, no worries.

[normalayacom]

Hello.