An Actual Person

Definitely a real live human woman being and not an alien or a robot and not a government experiment.

[normalhumanwoman-blog]

new podcast, featuring original poems and music by me.  yay.

[normalhumanwoman-blog]

my very first podcast

examining racial identity and gender shit w/ an ex boyfriend i had one time

it’s poetry

<#> i’m very good at social media </#>

[normalhumanwoman-blog]

it genuinely upsets me that birds have a cloaca and humans do not and now i gotta have two separate places for pee and poop to come out and i gotta store water just to make urine and there's a fucking drought.

[normalhumanwoman-blog]

Youtube recommended videos: Infamous MTV Next Contestents, Large Wasp Nest Sucked Up, How to Prepare and Cook Stingray.  I’ve got a new thing of iodized salt and I am ready to party.

[normalhumanwoman-blog]

I’m going vegan Because I’m trying to keep my carbon footprint low.  I don’t drive a car, I don’t shower a lot, I don’t really talk on the phone.  I actually spend most of my time with the lights off, because even the electricity is coming from fossil fuels, and I keep the curtains drawn and I am usually alone.

I don’t flush the toilet a lot.  Or ever.  Because do you know who owns the sewage system?  That’s right, it’s the US government, and I will not relinquish my DNA without a warrant.

Do you know that they make you PAY for WASTE WATER these days? so i stopped giving it back.  i retrofit that shit, it’s called permaculture, i learned it at evergreen. well, from a student at evergreen, who sold me some real good pot, legally, because he works at the legal store and we all obey laws.

now my shower in my apartment is hooked up to the toilet.  and guess where the toilet water goes... that’s right, to the fucking green house.  fuck go green, this is #gobrown, 2k16

we’re gonna reinvent plastic, okay, we’re going to save our shit and make plastic out of it.  plastic shit bottles, plastic toys for your kids, 100% lead free, plastic shit phone cases for your phones, we’re going to revolutionize the way we bag candy, you guys.  i’m gonna single handedly bring back the plastic bag.  we’re going to call it “shit bags” and i’ve already got Mr. Wallace Mart himself on speed dial, 2k16, #GoBrown #ShitBag

[normalhumanwoman-blog]

Harriet the Spy

the other day i was at my local major chain thrift store and i found that they had a large number of classic VHS tapes from the 90s, which as with all millennials, makes me feel nostalgic and joyful.

I rented the hit feature film about a young, wealthy 11 year old who very briefly breaks into Eartha Kitt’s home and watches her from inside of a dumbwaiter.  I believe that Rosie O'Donnell was aiding her in this criminal activity, and was rightly fired for doing so.  Eventually, she is invited back into their home to spend time alone with Harriet after she threw several tantrums and manipulated a therapist.  Despite being caught by a police officer watching a famous sculptor enjoy alone time with cats, this criminal is never arrested.

I would give this film a 6/10, because in the end the disobedient child is rewarded for her behavior and I believe we as children should have been taught better than that.