I honestly wasn’t looking for this when we met. But here we are now 3 months later. Still loving each other like no tomorrow.
I still find it amazing how you were able to take my heart that was so scared to love again. My heart that felt like it couldn’t love another person again and make it feel so at home. You made me feel a different kind of comfort, and once again my heart felt at home.
Before I even met you I had something to do on my list, It was to support any small time artist. Because some artists just never get the appreciation they deserve. Should I say Thank you Tiktok because you kept showing up on my “For you page”? turns out she’s really for me ahahaha.
I was bored in my room stuck in home quarantine with Covid when I just had the bright Idea to replace my Discord Icon that held memories I wanted to cover up. Together with my Idea of wanting to support an artist and recently receiving my pay check from doing part time for my sister. I just up and asked you for your art commission rates. So I just went with it, a spontaneous decision to commission art work from you. Honestly I was really appreciating the level of service you gave me. So extremely polite with the way you talked with me and professional at that. You worked so quickly to since you said you might get busy. But you gave me updates and I just tried my best to get a convo going cause I just wanted someone new to talk to as well.
And so because of this very portrait our story began.
I really loved how the portrait turned out! you know I keep getting amazed how I think that you just drew this with your finger on your phone. Trying it out myself has proven how difficult it could be. So I truly appreciate the art you make and the time it effort it takes to produce pieces like this.
Because of Home Quarantine I just wanted someone New to talk to, someone outside of my regular circle. I wanted to distract my self. And so I just kept trying to start convos with you, And Turns out it felt so natural. Talking to to you and getting to know you just felt so natural. I didnt have to try hard to get the conversation going. It just flowed, even if you’d reply to me late when I wake up early, and you woke up in the afternoon. I’d saya good morning and you’d reply with a good afternoon with how late you always woke up.
Slowly but surely our conversations kept getting longer and longer and we were sharing so many things with each other. It felt so natural, I felt like myself. I was showing every side of me without fear when I was talking to you. You turned me into an open book. I didn’t have to adjust my self just to talk to you. I was truly my self.
I love it how we started watching “ All of us are Dead” That really solidified our friendship. (friendship palang nun hehe) We kept watching an episode or two every other day until we finished. I like it how we just kept chatting when you wake up, and even after we finished watching an episode. like I keep saying things just felt natural and I didn't have to hide anything from you. I just showed myself bare and with no filters.
Then came the day I never was expecting You confessing first really surprised me. I honestly Didn’t now what to do at first. I didn’t want to reject you because you made my heart at peace. You made me feel a different kind of special. I was scared and didn’t know how to respond. You were someone I didn’t want to lose. So I expressed how much I like you too. But couldn’t get into a serious relationship because I wasn’t ready yet and well there was this fear I couldn’t keep a long distance relationship. Somehow I thought you wouldn’t speak to me again after that but things stayed the same. We still talked to each other all day.
Then came my bright Idea to actually meet you in person. I wanted to actually meet you and see how I felt around you. we were both shy at first but playing a game of Uno and eating pancakes broke the tension.
Such an awkward first picture but it holds so much meaning. Because on that day you took my hand when I offered it. You held my hand and I honestly didn't think that would work. The moment you held my hand after I gave you my little gift. I felt so comfortable with you. I took a chance and my heart was at peace. I knew I truly had feelings for you after we first met and this wasn’t just another infatuation.
Then we had a chance to go on an actual date a few days later and I knew. I honestly knew if I didn’t ask you on this day I wouldn’t ever get the chance again. I’m so glad I mustered up that confidence. I’m so glad we got to share an intimate moment like that and the timing was perfect. We officially became a couple. A couple who agreed that if things were going to be difficult because of circumstances and distance we would try our best for our relationship.
Circumstances were difficult but we made the best of the time we had left before I left for japan. I did my best to bike 30km just to see you every other day in the mornings. Honestly it was a double win. I get to exercise and I get to spend some quality time with you.
At first we were hiding the fact that we were meeting in the morning. But through a series of events. I’m so glad I got to meet your friends and then your Parents. It wasn't how we wanted thing to be found out but hey It really made this relationship feel so real. I’m so glad I got to properly face your parents and talk to them. I wish I got to meet them on multiple occasions so they could get to know me better, but that's okay at least they know who I am.
The road ahead of our relationship is once again going to be difficult. But I promise to do my best even from afar. You gave my heart peace and security that it needed. I was so scared to fall in love again and be left again, I was feeling lost. I was honestly prepared to go the next few years alone to work on myself even more but you made me feel like myself again. I was honestly myself again without having to hide anything. The love and support you give keeps me going everyday. You give me the confidence I need to take on the challenges I’ll be facing and I don’t know how I’d be able to do things so properly without you. I also dont know how I’ll be managing myself all alone here in japan if someone wasnt keeping me focused on my end goals.
Long distance isn’t easy but I love how we’re doing everything we can to make the distance feel like nothing. I can’t end the day without having Quality time with you and no matter how busy things get I promise to set aside time for you Love.
Thank you Eli for coming into my Life. I love you so much! Happy 3rd Monthsary <3
turnnoffyourmind
gummygunk
blakekathryn
jacobvanloon