Discworld characters and their Hogwarts houses; an incomplete list
Sam Vimes: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: he’s a Hufflepuff. He’s fiercely protective of his city, and he’s damned if anything is going to try and do it harm. And he puts so much work into policing the streets, and policing the Watch, and policing himself.
Sybil Ramkin: Either a Hufflepuff or a Ravenclaw. She’s the expert in dragons, has written books on them and knows pretty much everything about them, as well as knowing a fair amount on Koom Valley. But she’s also kind and gentle, can organise an army of ladies to support a cause.
Carrot Ironfounderson: I used to think he was a Griffindor. But then I remembered that quote from Guards! Guards!:
“It would never have occurred to him, if he was going to be an officer of the Watch, to be less than a good one.”
And that seems such a Hufflepuff thing to me; he can’t imagine not doing a job well. And plus there’s that fact that’s he’s so good with people; he knows knows the name of everyone in the city, cares about them, starts football teams with gangs. He cares, so much, and he’s so earnest.
Ponder Stibbons: “Ponder Stibbons was one of those unfortunate people cursed with the belief that if only he found out enough things about the universe it would all, somehow, make sense.” Definitely a Ravenclaw.
Nanny Ogg: Hufflepuff. Such a Hufflepuff. Like, this is the witch who is able to sit down with a complete stranger and become friends with them within minutes. Who is completely loyal to her friend Esme, no matter how much they bicker and fight.
Granny Weatherwax: I’m torn between Hufflepuff and Slytherin for her. On one hand, I think she’s very ambitious in terms of her power, and she’s definitely very cunning. (You don’t be a witch without cunning.) Plus Slytherin is considered the ‘evil’ house, and Granny wanted to be the evil sister, wants to be the stereotype of a witch (it’s mentioned in Wyrd Sisters she’s disappointed she never got any warts/bad teeth). But on the other hand, there’s that quote from A Hat Full of Sky on the nature of being a witch:
“It’s sittin’ up all night with some poor old man who’s leavin’ the world, taking away such pain as you can, comfortin’ their terror, seein’ ‘em safely on their way…and then cleanin’ ‘em up, layin’ ‘em out, making ‘em neat for the funeral, and helpin’ the weeping widow strip the bed and wash the sheets—which is, let me tell you, no errand for the fainthearted—and stayin’ up the next night to watch over the coffin before the funeral, and then going home and sitting down for five minutes before some shouting angry man comes bangin’ on your door ‘cuz his wife’s havin’ difficulty givin’ birth to their first child and the midwife’s at her wits’ end and then getting up and fetching your bag and going out again…We all do that, in our own way, and she does it better’n me, if I was to put my hand on my heart. That is the root and heart and soul and center of witchcraft, that is. The soul and center!”
Granny might not necessarily like the people of her village, but she’ll still go out of her way to help/defend them.
Rincewind: Gyriffindor. There’s two reasons for this. One: it’s just the kind of thing that would happen to him. Seriously, if Rincewind was at Hogwarts, he would be Harry; he would be the person who all the weird shit happens to. He would be the Chosen One, he would be the person destined to defeat Voldemort. That’s just the person he is.
Two: Rincewind can be brave. Yes, the majority of the time he runs, but when needed, he will get his brick-in-a-sock ready.
Nobby: He joined the Watch because John Keel gave him a spoon, and has stayed loyal to the watch and to Sam Vimes ever since. Yeah, Hufflepuff.
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