...

[not-zoe-murphy]

[not-zoe-murphy]

I hate that I'm the kind of person to see embarassing or cringe behaviour and I'll just watch it happen.

Because I know it will make me look better to the group. Because "look at me - I'm not doing that".

But what I should be doing is being incredibly supportive of that person. To look out for them. Honestly that would both make me look better and help them out as well.

I don't know where my toxic traits come from, but I hate them. I hate that I'm like this.

[not-zoe-murphy]

hi

[not-zoe-murphy]

When you go through an emotionally abusive relationship;

where you had felt completely worthless,

isolated,

a goddamn burden,

but you finally become free

you would expect to feel happy.

You would expect to never think of him again.

To hate him with your everything.

...

but you don't.

[not-zoe-murphy]

Me being the biggest threat to other girls for just existing.

[not-zoe-murphy]

09.17.2022

W and OS arguing for about 30 mins about whether the cat token can deal damage upon entering a room is a vibe.

[not-zoe-murphy]

I couldn't have dreamt it better.

My happiest days are now and ahead of me.

[not-zoe-murphy]

When you're in bed and he reaches his foot out to touch yours.

Like a messenger crossing a far deserted plain,

Like he's checking to make sure you're still there,

Like he's trying to tell you that he's still here,

for you.

[not-zoe-murphy]

Me, again, trying to figure out if it's all in my head.

It's always a battle between mind and reality.

I wish I wasn't so insecure.

That my world couldn't swing with a word or a glance.

In an instance all the colors are suddenly inverted, and everything feels unfamiliar again.

And I'm there, searching to be grounded.

Kidnapped by a single moment.