@fartvvaves

"AWSTEN ON THE OTHER HAND WOULD SUCK ZAK BAGANS DICK FOR CLOUT" - ARIANA GRANDE (2019)

[notawstens]

you know what band is stupid underrated?

envy on the coast

[notawstens]

i’ve been sitting making beats since 5:30am and my ass is numb for it

[challahweenie]

yes i absolutely coordinate my scrunchie w whatever is behind me !!! i simply must !!

[notawstens]

my greatest achievement will always be farting with a smell so bad, otto made me pull over so he could puke in someone's flowers

[notawstens]

@sapphosgalpal honestly i don’t know but i kinda hope it does. wanna come over and try it?

@thehateblog fair, i can’t remember the last time i answered an unknown number

@sissyspacetits ME TOO! this is so exciting. i hope it’s just your dog barking at me the entire time

@doritoinchief i get that. i’m just an asshole so it never bothered me lol

[notawstens]

why don’t people prank call anymore?

[fleurdecerisies]

[notawstens]

@sissyspacetits i would have shared!!! next time i make some, i’ll make extra for her ok.

[notawstens]

speaking of food discourse. at my old apartment i had a grill on my balcony and i was cooking salmon on it one day and the neighbors from upstairs left passive aggressive notes on my door because of the smell :) 

[notawstens]

if you don’t cover your teeth like an old person with their dentures taken out to bite into ice cream you’re wrong

[notawstens]

some of you were raised wrong and it shows

[notawstens]

there’s a special place in hell for people who drink room temp water

[notawstens]

ok i know i’m weird and kinda look like a green alien with the hair but this is just downright offensive

[notawstens]

i have risen and i’m thinking about those ‘crushes but they get weirder’ tik toks and wondering why guy fieri hasn’t been featured in a single one yet

[notawstens]

sometimes when i remember something i’d forgotten about, i stop and make the same face raven makes when she has a premonition but it’s not half as cool

[notawstens]

hey there demons it’s me YA BOI. awsten knight, zag bagans’ biggest fan. ari once told me that i’d suck his dick for clout and honestly? that’s the most accurate thing anyone has ever said about me.

if waterparks fails, i’m gonna become a really shitty tv show host. maybe i’ll have a show like jerry springer but bETTER, it’s just exposing all the shitty pop punk boys and at the end of the episode they get arrested.

doxx me @ fartvvaves 

[notawstens]

interesting development, i just started crying over lotus and chloe

i want someone to love me like that :(((