C H A R

— treasure's paragon ; °

if greed is a mortal sin, he might as well take all he can before hell hath no fury.

silence is jarring. because, at least for char, it would usually denote as nothing more than absence. silence was words that have parted -- neglected, not even leaving an ellipsis in its wake. joonmyun is silent now, in fact, but char is not angry. if anything, he has learned now that joonmyun is the exception ( always the exception ). joonmyun’s silence is one that is always brimming; thoughts and emotions filling even the crevices of his chest. it’s a force of joonmyun’s heart that swells to his throat, trapping any words that may have even had the chance to be heard. that must be the case, char thinks, because he knows joonmyun would never leave. and he's pretty sure it isn’t over-confidence speaking this time.

“stop thinking, hyung,” char mumbles against his cheek, smiling against the flushed, warm skin. “the cogs in your brain are noisy.” but, again, he knows telling the other to stop thinking is like telling joonmyun to stop being joonmyun. instead, he hopes it suffices in letting the older know that, as thick-skulled as he was, char notices. “just relax.”

speaking was never his forte either, nor was thinking, so char simply does. and truth be told, he doesn’t know much of what he’s doing either. but every sigh that leaves joonmyun’s lips, every tremble his body makes, and that rich-sounding moan that elicits from his throat -- these are the things that drive him forward. kim joonmyun is what ignites his fire now. and the flaring inferno now roars in his chest.

“i like you sensitive,” char comments in return, mouth pulling into his trademark impish grin. “i like you. i love you.” though, he can tell that a deliberate restraint is what holds joonmyun down still. after all, he’s always been that way -- joonmyun holding a weight a thousand times heavier than he would ever let anyone know. this finally dawns on char, and then ( perhaps selfishly ) realises that joonmyun really might need him.

char’s instinct of action proves its worth here. his hand first strokes joonmyun’s lust, and that draws more out of him than he’d ever imagined. ( and trust char to have had dreamed about this moment more than once or twice before. ) joonmyun’s whispered pleas are enough for him to follow without hesitance, so he continues to pump, twisting with each stroke.

though his rhythm falters when he feels joonmyun's fingers run along the ridges of his spine. the tanned skin raises, tiny speckles of both shadow and moonlight stipple across the rather gaunt arch of his back. for some reason, this triggers for his scar to prickle as well, and this only serves as a reminder that it was indeed joonmyun that mended him when he was broken. and that if one day joonmyun were to leave, char... no, he wasn't selfless enough to think about that; he was in far too deep. "don't leave me," he hurriedly sighs against the side of joonmyun's mouth -- without even thinking; he was bad at thinking. it's too late when he realises, so he swallows his pride and gulps back his habitual excuses.

instead, he screws his eyes shut, feeling the wildfire in his heart finally catch to his skin. a renewed fervour overwhelms him, and suddenly his slow kisses press harder. "i need you," he breathes, mind left behind somewhere around the time he had fallen in love with joonmyun months ago. a low groan resonates from the base of his throat when he feels the pressure of his lover's thigh push between his legs. at this point, his desire seemed insatiable. but, at the same time, char needed to at least progress. so, in a daze, he manages to slide joonmyun's trousers and underwear off, as well as shucking off his own. his hands waste no time in finding hot skin again, splaying against soft, milky thighs. they trail back up slightly, his fingers return to wrap around the base of joonmyun's length, stroking along the male's arousal slower, and the pad of his thumb making sure to slowly circle the crown as well as slide against the slit. "joonmyun hyung," char leans down to take his lips in for a deeper kiss, resulting in a muffled groan and shaky breath upon the feeling of their erections sliding against each other. "i need you -- god, i need you now."

blondejongin

sweet nothings

#*kji #notextractor

— treasure's paragon ; °

“ you. give me all of you.” his eyes close, and it’s like a faint prayer on his lips when he begs, “ please.”

char's heart drops. a reflex when tears do the same. "woah hey -- are you..." his fingers curl tightly around joonmyun's forearms before they loosen in realisation. "oh." they're happy tears -- at least he thinks they are. char's not exactly the reason why people cry out of euphoria... as much of a delight he is. sarcasm aside, char doesn't see any deception. not that he was perceptive about truth, char just knows it's genuine -- because he's catching euphoria too. when joonmyun speaks of requited love -- that's how char knows true happiness is contagious.

and when char knows that this bond tethers them together, he becomes all the more greedy. each sigh and whimper fluttering from joonmyun's lips equally fuel and famish him. blood courses faster around his body, wildfire bathing him in heat. an ardent kind of heat that glides down joonmyun's torso as char drags his lips against smooth skin. "you're so sensitive," char pipes up his observation, a ravenous type of amusement glinting in his eyes when he looks up at the other. he finds joonmyun flushed, breathless and rather quite dazed. with what, char thinks he knows -- but he's always been one to do things thoroughly. so he presses his whole palm against the tent of joonmyun's pants.

lust.

he's never seen joonmyun look even remotely lascivious before. and good thing too, because char doesn't think he'd have been able to control himself. he still can't. but now, it's a different story. the pyro bites down on his bottom lip, swelled by heated kisses and mewls of desire. a groan rumbles from the back of his throat at the sight of an angel succumbing to lechery.

plush lips dip to joonmyun's pelvis and fingers fleet to brush along hipbones. char momentarily considers teasing a little more but, like joonmyun to char, frankly char can't say no to joonmyun either. not when he pleads, not when begs. "shit," he curses a hot breath feeling the front of his jeans tighten considerably. slurred words tumble from his mouth without a mind, "i've never been so fff... horny." char screws his eyes shut in shame, a new wave of heat rippling to his cheeks as he slides back up to hide his face in the haven of joonmyun's neck. he sighs, in relief, and in insatiable hunger.

his fingers reach down, and thank god joonmyun's not wearing pants with a button and zipper, because char's lack dexterity right now is probably embarrassing. even so, his fingers still fumble with the waistband. he musters enough courage to hover back over him, pressing his forehead against his lover's, exchanging hot breaths and sheepish laughter at how dazed char is that he can't pull his coordination together for this. but when his fingers eventually slide underneath, char doesn't dither to palm joonmyun over his underwear. and somewhere along the line, char doesn't realise that he's grinding against joonmyun either.

like impulsive fire, he skips steps and slides fingers, down underneath the final layer of clothing. he fingers along the other's erection, before wrapping around to slowly stroke him. involuntarily, char is the one that moans, a puff of hot breath kissing joonmyun's lips for him.

— treasure's paragon ; °

“ closer.” it’s just one word, whispered low in char’s ear but joonmyun hopes it gets the message across. hold me closer.

"mm, you know i don't like questions answered with more questions," char chuckles through pseudo displeasure, still trying to deal with the embarrassment of his slip-up. but he can't rewind back, so he takes a leap forward -- "i'm saying i like you. i want to touch you. i want to do the do with you." char, albeit flustered to no chance of cooling, smiles up at him, and sears the next promise into joonmyun's lips -- "i'm saying i love you, joonmyun." now there's no chance of questions parrying questions. char, for once, is brazen.

he doesn't know if it's adoration or lechery, and it honestly confuses him as much as it frustrates him. char had never felt such a strong desire to mark someone with black and blue, scuff them with red, and blaze them with wishes and word. so he makes his first imprint, running the flat of his tongue along the smooth column of joonmyun's neck before sucking on perfect skin. he breaks joonmyun's perfection just to patch a part of himself on him, and whilst it's selfish, char doesn't regret it for a second. char bites to warrant the mark and smiles against the crook of the older male's neck. "mine," he murmurs, sealing the promise to his lover with one last lap of his tongue.

somewhere along the line, the subtle rolling of char's hips had fallen into an even rhythm, corresponding to each one of joonmyun's own. when he becomes cognisant of their bodies' faint undulation, char feels the front of his jeans tighten considerably. "ngh," he bites down hard on his own bottom lip, suppressing the groan that houses his pent up passions and spoiling. hearing joonmyun want something is unexpected, though is also something char acts on conscientiously and immediately. he grips and pulls. skin against skin, chest against chest, two heartbeats beating against each other in a race to infinity. his fingers pad and press down into the back of joonmyun's waist, as char's own body arches upward into him. their closed bodies are hot, and it's not long before char realises his hunger for joonmyun is insatiable; he wants more.

hazily, the pyro's lips clumsily search for joonmyun's. once they do and both their lips open, char can't help but set free the moan of longing that had swelled at his core much too long ago. his heart is at bursting point. so he flips them over, a little roughly but char apologises with a grin too sly to be sorry. a small growl rumbles at the back of his throat as he hovers over lover's body; char wants to show joonmyun what adoration feels like. "all mine," he says, smiling from the starting point of joonmyun's lips. he presses into a slow kiss first before dragging his lips to pepper light ones along joonmyun's jaw. he drags the trail down along his neck now, and as he does so, char's right hand follows suit... he pauses his mouth to speak, but his fingertips continue to tease the front of joonmyun's pants. "tell me what you want, hyung."

— treasure's paragon ; °

it’s his way of saying, i don’t mind if you don’t mind. skin to skin, mouth to mouth. this is more than kim joonmyun ever could have asked for.

he finds it hard to breathe. the divine chose a sinner, and the sinner requites with a hungry smile into holy lips. char's fingers slide against joonmyun's bare hips, around to smooth up along the curve of his back and pull him down closer. his hold is firm, maybe a little too strict in caging this moment from fleeting elsewhere. "and i like to touch you," the pyro mumbles against joonmyun's lips, voice especially dulcet for the raging fire that streaks his skin.

"are you seriously so surprised...?" char can't help but ask rather incredulously upon staring at joonmyun's reddening cheeks. he's amused by the sight to say so in the least, but he's also embarrassed for a suggestion like that to slip from his mouth, void of control. he knows he still hasn't directly put the idea forward, but he's afraid he'd physically combust if he did so. and he swears he almost does next, "i want you, joonmyun... hyung."

char has to swallow thickly when the roller of hips furls against his pelvis. but it doesn't forbear the resonant groan that rumbles from the back of his throat. his fingertips claw deeper into milky skin, and char whimpers at the thought of tarnishing seraphic flesh. the pyro's hips mirror the motion of the other's, whilst his lips overlay the sensation with a hot kiss to the joonmyun's throat. it's wet, kind of sloppy, but char doesn't care he's losing focus. joonmyun is all he feels, and that's more than enough for someone like him to love.

— treasure's paragon ; °

notextractor:

he wants to be skin to skin, not even in the provocative sense, no. kim joonmyun just wants to be close.

"i know," char chuckles, voice still raspy by the breath joonmyun took away. "it's just you've always looked... cuddly... to me." the pyro's fingers pad further up against the older male's stomach, whole palm splayed against it now, "and you're still cuddly." char says it like he's teasing, but he means it -- can he stay here like this? joonmyun's warm breath brushing against his cheek pulls char to shrink away with a small laugh ( a giggle, really, but that word isn't his style ). "that tickles, hyung." char has a bright smile in his eyes as he turns his head to where his cheek was, and proceeds to press a sly kiss to joonmyun's lips.

"and yeah, i mean if you share a bed with someone, it's kinda natural to think about those things..." char begins with boldness and trails off with uncertainty. he's doubting his own truth now. "...or is that just me." silence soon sinks into their skin, but it's not heavy or awkward, more so just soothing. char thinks it's strange, but he doesn't question it. not until joonmyun props himself to look down on him. "...what..." as soon as he starts, he trails off again. but it's not uncertainty this time. it's something so certain, so stark, char has to gasp a little for more air. it was the lightest of contact, but his neck -- oh god his neck; his whole body.

he's not even sure if -- is joonmyun accepting that horribly ambiguous invitation? did he even catch on? "a-are we actually doing it?" slips out of his mouth accidentally. belatedly realising, his mind is a clusterfuck, his heart is racing a million beats per minute, and his body feels so hot as to an inferno replacing his bloodstream. char swears he can hear joonmyun chuckling, but joonmyun's also fumbling with his buttons, making char want to laugh at him. it's silly and they both laugh, one probably more frustrated than the other, but it's nice.

still, that hot feeling is something he can't shake. he's embarrassed about it, and he doesn't want to ruin the moment; he just wants to make joonmyun happy. char attempts to recompose himself, closing his eyes trying to resist the shudder that comes naturally to him when joonmyun brushes against the bare skin of his hips. it's not really working, but char goes along with what joonmyun wants.

the pyro's lips are ajar for a moment, releasing a nervous laugh that borders more onto a helpless sigh. he finishes with the buttons himself and pries his shirt open. the cool air is a nice escape. it's a fleeting moment though because char is pulling on joonmyun's elbows, pulling the other on top of him, admire divinity from his rightful place above.

he knows. he knows it's bad for someone like him to desire an angel's touch. yet char doesn't hesitate to kiss him. he's greedy, he's proud, he gambles on the seven sins and wants the angel next. fire is used to evil, but fire loves good best.

blondejongin

jongin's cute scrunchy face

— treasure's paragon ; °

these are things that are in the back of joonmyun’s mind but he can never say no, not to char, not ever. it’s why his mouth opens at the pyro’s behest, why truth pours through soft sighs and gentle touch of fingers on skin. please don’t go, he thinks. i don’t want to leave home.

char's fingers make sure to trace along every single dip and rise of joonmyun's torso. he's memorising joonmyun. he lingers for longer on the unexpected ripple of scars on the elder's otherwise smooth skin, and furrows his brows in giving a discontented hum. he thinks joonmyun shudders in fear for a second there, but it's not what joonmyun thinks. "you didn't deserve this," he mumbles in the chance they take air, holding out the safety net for the one he's already caught.

he's remembered them now. and char doesn't notice he's redrawing the same lines back and forth over joonmyun's cicatrices. it's innate -- the desire to burn away the things deemed undesirable. char's good at destroying things. though they weren't unwanted on his behalf. char thinks joonmyun is flawless, actually. ( only ill-treated. ) and, of which, he's pretty sure joonmyun can't see the perfection in himself, whereas the pyro does.

the pyro wills his fingers to finally stray from scars, realising he may be egging joonmyun into insecurity. char, instead, uses this as an excuse for his hands roam around the rest of joonmyun's body. "you're so warm," char coos, wanting to nuzzle the other's neck again like home. but he's slid up a bit too high for him to do so, so he settles for butterfly kisses along joonmyun's jawline. "you also have... a nicer body than i thought," he grins, exercising no shame in padding his fingers into the defined muscle of joonmyun's shoulders. "i should've tried feeling you up sooner, i think, heh."

to char, that's 'euphemism' for some confession... one he can't really string together yet in words.

to joonmyun, of course it's something else altogether. but char sits tight, with that mischievous fire that hadn't been lit since the last moment they were together.

— treasure's paragon ; °

his eyes close, and joonmyun has finally, finally found a home.

his mind goes blank. though it's not the type that's empty. rather it's the visage of a heart so full. so quenched, there were no nooks where this feeling did not consume. he couldn't see past it. and char thinks that this is what they might mean when they say that love is blind.

and whilst it is slightly awkward when joonmyun freezes in his arms, lips connected, a selfish char still revels in that full-heart feeling. a selfish char is also a confident char, to the point where people can label him audacious to impudent. but he doesn't care when he can take their breaths away. he doesn't care when he knows he can take joonmyun's breath away. so the pyro's arms pull him in tighter, their bodies together firm and flush. his hands slither protectively around the elder's waist, boldly slipping underneath the fabric of joonmyun's shirt to slide against his warm skin. an epistle that goes along the lines of ' you're mine ', and a quieter citation of ' don't leave me '. char smiles into the kiss, an encouraging one, and proceeds to nip the other's bottom lip as to say

open up.

tell me your lies. let me see the truth.

and i know you may not let me... maybe not at first.

but know that i'll baptise your monsters with holy fire. since, they'll always be angels to me.

because in the end, they brought you -- a miracle -- to me.

brbcrawlingtokorea

Everybody was kung-fu fighting!

— treasure's paragon ; °

“ yeah, you do.”

a kick to the shin, but salved with a tighter embrace. char can't be blamed for that, he thinks. and it's readable just by the impish way he smiles. "stop apologising, joonmyun." the pyro is spoiled, he knows it just as well joonmyun does. but he doesn't feel bad. when they're lying against each other like this, how can he feel bad at all?

he doesn't say anything further about dreams. joonmyun said it all and that was enough. that aside, char himself wasn't even a big believer in dreams. it's a term romanticised beyond sense; it's become overrated. such flights of fancy are intangible, vague and just everything char doesn't have taste for. he likes concrete things, and no matter what dreams are to begin with, they'll eventually fade to zilch regardless of what one does with making it or missing it. dreams, you cannot touch. joonmyun, though, char can touch. and hold, and squeeze -- as many times as possible to make sure, that even though joonmyun seems like a dream, he's real and here to stay.

joonmyun is not a dream. joonmyun is what char likes best.

and he can't find the proper words to say it, if not none at all. he just lets yet another press of the lips deal its worth. except now he feels it isn't enough -- that universal feeling of being so satiated with something, one adapts and suddenly it just isn't as magnificent as it once was.

not that char thinks joonmyun's the one getting bored, because he knows what this does to him. he can hear those small sounds from the back of joonmyun's throat, because char smiles just that bit wider each time he hears it. and, now, he has the ear-to-ear grin of the chesire. it's that char feels like that -- that these actions aren't doing his swelling heart justice.

char scoots up a little, so that their faces are finally level against the one pillow they now shared. they're that close, and char wants to take it upon himself. to give joonmyun what he deserves.

"too bad i'm not romantic."

his grin shrinks back down, though he's still smiling slightly. char's more serious this time; his brows are furrowed. but then they ease, the storm clears when char connects their lips together like this. char smiles into the kiss, and presses deeper.

this is only half of what joonmyun deserves.

the rest is up to love. or something like that.

#notextractor #KEEPING THIS

please don't ,

sunlight pours through open windows to dance with the dust and it’s the first sign of spring that falls on a room of bare bones. this is the first time that the windows are open after a too -long winter that rested heavy on the shoulders of the person who inhabits the apartment, one who goes by dr. kim joonmyun. ( previously extractor — though the only one who knows that secret, it seems, is the man that lays beside him. ) the breathy sounds of sleep bring something like music to the room as spring breezes play with the curtains and make them look like the ghosts that linger in the corners.

joonmyun’s bare skin is warm and his body is still heavy with the remnants of sleep when his eyes blink open blearily to the sounds of birds cooing their morning songs. he’s never been one for too much sleep; he always falls asleep last and wakes up first but it’s these moments that give him solitude and a chance to think. he’s still curled into the warmth of skin against skin, and joonmyun’s lips upturn with a lazy smile. it starts off with a sigh, then a kiss to the top of a head that’s resting in the crook of his neck.

char is what he whispers into blond hair, fingers running slowly down a cheek, to a neck, to bare arms and hips. char is the name he breathes as his arms bring them closer together, as if they aren’t, as if they weren’t so close that anyone looking in couldn’t tell where one man ended and the other began. joonmyun loves these morning afters, when they’re both too lazy and too occupied in each other to bother thinking of anything — anyone — else. it’s a small reprieve from the hell that lies outside that window; in this little bare bones room in a little bare bones apartment, joonmyun and char only have each other and nothing else matters.

joonmyun’s relationship with char started with a multitude of “please don’t”s.

in the beginning, joonmyun was stuck in the depths of a well; left to freeze in the winter. he’d gotten used to the way his shoulders grew heavy with the burdens of a promise made that never seemed to pan out — joonmyun was only a temporary answer to a permanent problem, always and forever. but still he smiled, still he carried on until somehow he crossed paths and became roommates with a man that sparkled with a flame. with a smile, his eyes begged please don’t choose me —

but char did.

he comes in like a wildfire, joonmyun finds, and as much as he wants to beg, please don’t, please don’t, i’m a monster, please don’t — there’s nothing that he can do. a wildfire is selfish, it does what it wants. char’s no different, with the way his hands take and his smile is too bright like the sun and joonmyun is

captivated

absolutely, to the point his eyes travel after char no matter where he is or where he plans to go. joonmyun is the shadow to char’s light, the msoke to a flame and following his footsteps soundlessly. he begs char, please don’t notice me.

but char does. it’s not hard to notice how joonmyun’s eyes seem to brighten only when the younger man’s around, the care and comfort he gives at night and the stiff way they handle themselves in the morning. it’s a silent type of noticing when char slips into his bed and wraps arms around his hips, curls into his body so that there isn’t any room for the tears that run down his cheeks in the nighttime. there’s more to char and joonmyun than meets the eye. char notices ( everyone notices ), and joonmyun is terrified.

he’s terrified because he does not deserve. joonmyun is a giver, it’s a promise made and he doesn’t have anything left of himself to take. char is a fire, bright and pure and joonmyun should not desire. in the depths of his heart, he wants, and he thinks it’s quite possibly the ugliest feeling he’s ever felt. kim joonmyun should not feel desire. kim joonmyun is not worthy of desire.

he is not worthy of char.

but for some god forsaken reason, char seems to think otherwise when his lips find his and their fingers link together when they breathe against each other’s skin. char wants him. char chose him. for the life of him, joonmyun does not know why, and he remains scared, remains terrified for other reasons now. and with his eyes closed to the morning sun that streams in through his window, joonmyun begs with a prayer —

please don’t leave. please don’t choose someone else.

as if in answer, char wakes; presses kisses to his neck that sear the skin like burns. a wildfire takes, it’s possessive; char is no different when he smiles crinkle -eyed and sleepy while waiting for joonmyun’s kiss.

it’s like he’s saying, ” i won’t.”

and joonmyun is the happiest man alive.

fried-taofu-deactivated20160908

Mama memories: 1 / ?

— treasure's paragon ; °

“ what are you doing here, char.. ?” mumbled words coming from bitten lips — “ i feel like i’ve strayed into a dream.”

"that was supposed to be a joke, kim joonmyun." char pseudo chastises with a tip too much of a chuckle for it to truly sound rebuking. he presses his smile back into the crook of the elder's shoulder, remembering how joonmyun sighed and tugged himself back in further each time char did so.

char likes that. he likes this feeling of being wanted; going one way and being pulled the other way. because if char is being honest, he feels that way too. and even if his words are outright lies, his body is what gives him away.

"are you saying you dream about me, kim joonmyun?" the pyro asks, the amused smile even obvious in his voice. his eyes stray from the elder's, not able to hold eye contact for long before char becomes a stupid, fumbling mess with words. he was already clumsy enough with them. instead, he squeezes a bit tighter and hides back into crux of his neck. char even offers a few kisses against joonmyun's skin as small scintillas of cheeky apologies, each one followed by the same searing smiles from before.

"what are your dreams like, hyung?" char asks, muffled at first -- a little unsure and worried regarding the lack of sleep he knows joonmyun gets. still, he musters a level of courage that allows him to pull away slightly to look at him. the hold around joonmyun consequently slackens, and his fingers fiddle with the fabric of the other male's shirt. "heh, i sound romantic, don't i?"

lisafire-blog1

— treasure's paragon ; °

“ i’ve missed you too.

i’m sorry.”

char has always had the desire to make a heart beat fast. he had always achieved it through provocation, through anger, or the shock value of his devil-may-care attitude. because it was just easier that way -- buying fire through the cost of other people's distress and degradation. it was always at everyone else's expense, because char himself never had the humility to show that he cared.

and though he wouldn't go as far as to say he'd done a complete 180, this is no short of a testament that he had turned (at least a small fraction) into someone finally worthy of making a heart beat fast.

he might've not be the most eloquent of speakers, but char's actions spoke stories no one else could. maybe he's giving himself too much credit. or maybe he's right when he realises joonmyun's heart does beat fast. maybe he's too right in knowing that racing hearts are sometimes double-edged swords. where joonmyun's heart is light, joonmyun's tears are shadow.

char swallows hard -- on pride, on nerves, on god knows what. he's never been good at this, and he thinks he might be retracting back to zero. it's no lie, he wants to hide. but he doesn't really know why or what from. maybe he's not worth the tears. maybe he's not worth joonmyun. maybe he's not worth company in itself. after all, char knows it best -- a pyro is destined to destroy everything he touches.

but still --

"you better be sorry for ruining my hair," char speaks up, not caring about his tear-dampened hair anyway. he speaks into the crook of the other male's neck, and though it's muffled, he thinks it'd somehow be clearer if his words are mouthed into joonmyun's skin. maybe he'll remember it better if char's lips sear and stay. "'cus you've got nothing else to be sorry about."

— treasure's paragon ; °

char wakes up in the sunlight that spills from the window. it's been a while since rich warmth had kissed his skin like this. he's missed it. but the weather is still quite cool at this time of the year -- the slither of brisk air that brushes against his neck reminds him so. and he realises it's not the sun that gives this warmth its beloved gold. rather, it's what char huddles back into -- who he huddles back into.

oh.

he'd forgotten. everything was like it was before -- he didn't even realise that this wasn't the institute, this wasn't his room, this wasn't his bed. however, this was joonmyun. somnolence shrouds his vision still, but he knows. he knows the familiar scent of freshly cleaned laundry. the warmth that's more comfortable than char's own. the slope of this neck that accommodates his cheek as snug as two jigsaw pieces. he knows this is joonmyun. he knows because they fit.

a contented sigh puffs from his lips, enjoying the satisfaction that rivals nicotine but goes without its mephitic denouement. his warm breath curls against the slope of joonmyun's neck and brushes back against his own cheek, again -- just like it did before. char grins. he wonders if joonmyun can feel it against his skin.

he also wonders if joonmyun is awake. char can't see him as his own face nestles in the crook of his shoulder, but he kind of hopes the elder is awake. because this is a silent call of an 'i've missed you' -- the kind of words that bubble up at the back of his throat but always get caught in the same place. char's palms press against joonmyun's chest, but they don't stay there for long as he ends up winding his arms around the elder. though, he's had countless dreams that play out just like this. so he squeezes a little.

and it's substantiated --

this is real.