○°•°dream journal°•°○ @notdwenby - Tumblr Blog

fkn love that scottish prick.. hes been real helpful with my spiraling habits ig. like i'll be rambling on, stressed about every single aspect of smth, then here he comes.

at first it was frustrating to hear "okay yeah what if" but its nice to have a reminder that things are prolly a bit easier than im making them out to be. or he'll break stuff down to help me get my bearings and proceed

#sorry yall unfortunately i feel like any decision i make could make or break me

desk-drawerr

By popular demand: He eat a Wawamelon

mouthwash, razors, body oil, perfume, gatorade, multivitamins, hair pins, bagels

trim hair, clean room, find 3 new therapist options, call insurance for health shit, shoe

#oh cool i just remembered that im gonna lose my snap benefits when august comes around #no guys please i like not really spending my own money so i can buy food without feeling like dying #i got nearly 4k in my acc rn and its still hard to buy One thing without feeling like im stepping closer and closer to being in debt

i gotta buy a new heated blanket...

#at least like half of it won't beat up anymore :c #and unfortunately this thing is my saving grace most days

notdwenby

forgot that im good with kids and ended up tuckered out and so fucking ready for bed

notdwenby

couple hrs prior to this I met my friends neighbor's kids and they seemed to fw me. they were playing in the sprinklers when we pulled up and we quickly formed a but where they hose me down w imaginary water guns. their mom had to drag em to the van just so they could stop and get back on track.

oh and i brought my box of rainbow loop and apparently they fw it too so i made three little ones custom ones

#big day for gromice

wait. .... i think i agreed to go to a finn wolfhart?? concert something.... ....

#smth smth lola smth aftershow smth #idk i told her that i was free tmrw and she extended the offer #im gonna be sooo eepy by the end of this week #i already am

forgot that im good with kids and ended up tuckered out and so fucking ready for bed

#went to the park with friends #after getting really crossed mind you #but this group of kids came up to us and want to talk to the big kids #but they had a Lot of energy #i was spinning around a 12yo and a 8yo #i was playfighting and slap boxing another one #i was playing super heros with the other #and one of the lip guys wanted to do a sonic showdown where he out races the asthmatic #i got a small case of motion sickness so im so ready to lay down #those kids are so rowdy for 10pm so i can only wish the best for their parents #i did my best to wear them out but the rest is up to you...#thats my general policy abt kids ig. i'll play and listen and do my best to be a good role model but act the end of the day #please return to your guardian im beat #i cant be a parent but i can be an older cousin type thing #n e way. daddys going to bed

ive been looking for this bkg fic for so long and Still no luck

#apparently its difficult to find a specific fic under a bunch of different tags #im pissed #didnt realize how hard it would be to find a fic called big reactions #or maybe i was tweaking and it was bad reactions but the tags i saw dont add up to that title idk #IDK!!!!!!!!!!!#i was trying to open it and accidentally pressed my tab menu and Poof #I CANT FIND IT #i have to get into the habit of liking smth if like the tags ig bc this has happened too many times #ykw what. my fault for expecting to find a fic again on my for you page

so i was supposed to film a production of next to normal on saturday but i found out that the assistant director is reporting one of the producers/owner of the company....

#i dont blame the guy one bit #but its crazy that this is the company's second ever show and they might be toast after this #the other owner plans on leaving and distancing herself from the company name immediately once the show wraps up #which is really gonna fuck with things bc her connections and social skills is the Main reason why they were able to actually put on shows #i should ask if they still want to.. what about my pay;;;;;;;;;

notdwenby

so.. so tired.. ... .

i didnt go to sleep until after 1am but its not like it mattered bc of all the nightmares i had. and i think? I did smth in my sleep bc i feel significantly worse today

But yay to catsitting after my shift .. !

notdwenby

yea it obviously got worse bc why wouldnt it.

i accidentally cut my finger on one of our slicers and im Still bleeding through the bandages. ive changed them 3 times now and every time i have, i put on two band-aids. which is cool

my prep person was making a ton of mistakes today (part of the reason why i nicked myself) not to mention she already pisses me off. how are you 31 and you cant seem to clean up after yourself?? why do i have to point out the obvious mess that was made and then ask you to clean it?? and its every. single. shift. dont even get me started.

the cramps turned into really bad rib pain. like a constant 9/10 unless it spiked to a 10/10. and ive been a crying mess because of it. i had to call in my gm early bc i kept doubling over and sobbing due to how bad it was. i was barely able to take orders and stay on the line but the second i went to the BOH i couldnt stop myself from sobbing again. love that for myself and my image yes thank you. but at least i was able to leave 15 mins early 🫩 just to ride the train home🫩 packed in like a tin of sardines 🫩🫩🫩

#i repeat #bad body day #i feel awful #meow :(

so.. so tired.. ... .

i didnt go to sleep until after 1am but its not like it mattered bc of all the nightmares i had. and i think? I did smth in my sleep bc i feel significantly worse today

But yay to catsitting after my shift .. !

#bad body day #im cramping so badly too

you ever do something badly and can't stop thinking about it to the point that death might be a better option

#i can't lie #i can't bc any time i do im convinced that everyone can tell and am seconds away from being publicly executed #i can lie but only if i create a plausible timeline and think of every possible conversation route and outcome #my guts are gonna leave my body any second now #fuckkkk i hate this

ive been pms'ing like a bitch but still got some work done so to reward myself im sitting outside while munching on chocolate and blackberries on the deck

#lounging in my undies #ill be alright

was testing makeup for my ren faire cos but now i dont wanna take it off;;;;;;;;;;

#im so ready for bed #but i still got some change left on my face card and i kinda wanna savor it #ahhhhhhhhhhgnnnnnngnnhnhngnn

i really fw boss as a nickname

#ive gotten called buddy bro and boss at work and idk its doing smth for me

waking up to the immediate urge to frow up is just what i needed to start my morning

#yea the taste of taquitos and acid was absolutely what i needed #i dont feel good mr crabs.. im stayubg in bed #for now TT #my feet are freezing and the comfort of my heated blanket is worth it #:cc

waking up to the immediate urge to frow up is just what i needed to start my morning

#yea the taste of taquitos and acid was absolutely what i needed #i dont feel good mr crabs.. im stayubg in bed #for now TT #my feet are freezing and the comfort of my heated blanket is worth it #:cc

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