— jokes on you

"i'm nuts, baby i'm mad, the craziest friend that you've ever had. over the bend, entirely bonkers, you like me best when i'm off my rocker. tell you a secret, i'm not alarmed. so what if i'm crazy, the best people are."

[iamnotjoking]

The Joker in Scooby-Doo! Team-Up #42

[notevenafacecard]

ivy.

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Joker doesn’t expect the attack, he was waiting for the poison to fill his veins and didn’t consider her taking the upper hand. he wasn’t worthy of a quick slip into death and he knew that, but god he wished ivy would let him have his way. just once. he feels his head slam against the wall but doesn’t even process the dark liquid that has started to stain neon green locks. and he can already feel bleached skin tearing and bruising, but it wasn’t new to him. he’d seen death before many times, and wasn’t going to let ivy, of all people, scare him into it now. “keep going,” he urges, and though the words struggle to escape through her grip, he’s seemingly unfazed. lips turn up into the signature, sickening smile before he lets a laugh escape his lips. and then suddenly he can’t stop laughing, and it’s that ear splitting mechanical laughter that he can never keep under control. she’s left his hands free, which was a mistake. fingers slip into his pocket and he’s focusing on keeping his grip steady on the gold plated pistol, “even in my death you wont be able to get rid of me. every time you look at her, all you’ll see is me. i created her, i gave her this life,” there are long pauses between the scratchy worlds, he’s trying to distract ivy by bringing harley up, but he knows she’s not a complete idiot.

[doctorhojo]

VS

[notevenafacecard]

loki.

“no, but i have my own stash of asgardian liquor that does the job.” he shrugged, leaning on the other casually as he sat. “what’s got you all sad? I thought clowns were meant to be happy.”

“Asgardian liquor, would it kill me??” it’s not like it’d bother him if it did, but he’s curious as to how strong it was. for once, his first instinct isn’t to shove the other off of him, letting loki get comfortable. “i’m not a clown,” he almost pouts, though he knows he most definitely is, “just because i went to a kids party once..”

[notevenafacecard]

mistletoe from harls. i hate myself

They’ve generally been avoiding each other, and he’s not really complaining. but when he slips his way into the party and finds the only opens spots next to harley or barbara, he chooses the lesser of the two evils, or at least what he thinks is. he doesn’t even speak as he stands next to her, but watches as her face lights up with disgust at the sight of him. green eyes lift to the mistletoe hanging above them, and he almost laughs. of course this would happen, it’s not like she completely hates his guts. “it’s tradition, harley,” his voice is low, almost as if he’s scared to anger her anymore than he already has. it’s not the time for him the be the boisterous jerk that could get her into bed whenever he wanted. after her fight with ivy, he knew he’d have to be gentle around her. “i’ll even let you add to my collection afterwards,” he waves a hand over his bruised face, courtesy of ivy and jason. he wait for her approval, which is something he never thought he’d do, but didn’t want to cause more of a scene than he already had in the past month. leaning down he quickly and carefully presses his lips to hers for what may be the last time. and even though he longs to drag it out, he steps back and leans against the dorm frame with a smirk. “alright, aim for anywhere that's already bruised. i’ve forgotten what i look like without them,” he knows she won’t obey, but he tries anyways.

@scaredofheart​

[notevenafacecard]

💬 + you're planning to kill someone soon

“Always.”

[notevenafacecard]

💬 you're more deadly than anyone with superpowers

“This is a proven fact.”

[notevenafacecard]

loki.

“You feeling sorry for yourself, J?” He grinned, rolling his eyes at the other. “As long as you don’t eat my stuff I don’t care.”

Joker is more than relieved to see loki after the week he’s had. even if the whole house was against him, he could count on the other. “can you get drunk off of human alcohol??” the clown asks the god curiously, “because i feel like tonight calls for that.”

[notevenafacecard]

ivy.

@notevenafacecard - continued from here!!

“Today is not the day to test my patience, clown.” Ever since her blowout with Harley, she’d been actively avoiding the majority of people in the house, simply searching for a method to return, trying to find how she could get home without having to ask too many favors. Of course, to make matters worse, she’d have to find a means to run into him - the painted asshole who truly believed that he had any sort of influence on her life. 

“You think you have any sort of influence over my hapiness? How cute. Believe me, my disposition has nothing to do with your action, or lack thereof. Now, get out of my way before I decide that you’re no longer worthy of being the scum of this planet.” It wouldn’t be too difficult - her skin had been green for days, one simple swipe of her fingertip and he’d be frothing at the mouth. 

“It’s agonizingly adorable that you think you have a choice in this matter,” the joker folds his gloved hands in front of him, the smirk still playing on stark white features. “it may of had nothing to do with me,” the man shrugs his shoulders lightly, “but it now involves me, because you hurt her. and now she’ll return back to her puddin, just like every other time you’ve stopped paying her any mind.” the words are drawn out, he really didn’t care if harley was hurt by the situation or not, he didn’t care that ivy had broken the womans heart, he had done that plenty of times before. he wanted to hit low blows though, letting ivy know that she’d always come second to him, in his mind she’d always be second choice. the clown watched her irritation rise the longer he stood in front of her, fueling him even more. he pulls a glove off carefully, holding a bleached hand out to the woman in front of him, “well go on, pamela. do it,” lips curve up into the maniacal smile he was known for, welcoming the pain he was so used to.

[notevenafacecard]

“don’t you dare.” (from ivy!)

“Or what??” eyebrows raise at the sound of the threat, joker not being one to back away from a good challenge. he takes a step forward, cornering the redhead. signature smirk forms across red painted lips as he stares her down, “i don’t see anyone around to stop me.” he glances around them dramatically before taking a step back, “you’ve had your fun, pamela. but you must have known it’d only be a matter of time before i ruined it.”

[notevenafacecard]

Harley: How could you think any of this was a good idea?

Joker: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.

Harley: Oh.

Joker: I don’t understand how you keep forgetting that.

[notevenafacecard]

rocket.

“It don’t matter what frickin’ year it is, weird don’t change. Neither do Terrans, so why we gotta help fix the future? If it ain’t sentinels, it’s gonna be somethin’ else in the future.” Yeah, it was easy to say because it was the ‘right’ thing and it would save a lotta lives. Yadda, yadda. The galaxy was always a mess. 

Joker had to admit-- the talking rat had a point, this whole endeavor could be for nothing, as there was always another threat that loomed over humanity. “it’s more about being seen as normal people,” the clown drawls, knowing he would never been seen as a normal, equal to others. “so that when humans see you, that don’t have the urge to call animal control.”

[notevenafacecard]

cfredhood:

“roy where’d ya go,” jay half grumbles half slurs as he ambles through the crowd. he’s had too much too drink, jay can feel the buzz in his veins and the lightness in his steps. despite this, he can still recognize the clowns voice as clear as day. it takes him a second to pinpoint where he the voice came from but when he does finally face the clown the grin on his lips falls into a hard line and his eyes harden with hatred. “you’d be right to assume that,” he says with a tilt of his head. “you are welcome to stand in front of the barrel of my gun though,” he grins as he clumsily reaches for his gun but he remembers too late that he’s in his civilian clothing. “guess my fists’ll have to do.” 

The grin that spreads across the jokers face is reminiscent of someone who has run into an old friend, not someone whom he had previously left for dead. the fact that he had been living in the same home as jason todd and hadn’t had the joy of running into him was somewhere between a blessing and a curse. “if i had known we’d meet, i would’ve been a little more prepared,” bleached hands raise to show that for once, he doesn’t have any tricks up his sleeve. his usual suit jacket full of curiosities was left upstairs. “it’s a pleasure jason, you’re looking quite... alive,”it’s only fair that joker lets out a joke, he wants to push jasons buttons before the fight starts.

[notevenafacecard]

The clown has been pacing, making sure those that keep entering and exiting the kitchen can see him in all his dramatics, sighing loudly to make them turn and look. when he’s finally caught someones attention long enough, he lets his full lanky frame lean against the doorway, green eyes low as his voice rakes out with bitterness, “it’s safe to assume i’m not welcome at dinner,” it should’ve been a question, but he knows he’s not. it may be a holiday but he still is the joker, and there’s not enough excuses to get around that terribleness. but for some damned reason that he can’t even explain, he wants to be able to sit down with everyone else and eat. he’s just as much of a member of all this as everyone else, even if they didn’t want him here and he should be invited, right?? yeah right. maybe if he sulked enough and played the pity card, they’d feel bad for him.

[darkestsiide-blog]

they say all good boys go to heaven

but bad boys bring heaven to you

[notevenafacecard]

@scaredofheart​

Joker wouldn’t say that he was avoiding harley, but he was most definitely keeping his distance from her. they hadn’t spoken since ivy had arrived and joker was honestly planning to keep it that way. with those that he considered key enablers of harley leaving now with her at all times, he knew he stood no chance in this house anymore. so when he enters the room and sees her, he almost turns around and returns back to his room. but his presence was already known, and leaving would make him seem like a coward. keeping his cool, the clown saunters into the room anyways, completely avoiding the fact that the other was in the room at first. he settles himself into the chair before deciding to acknowledge her presence. “harley,” green eyes flicker up to meet hers for just a moment before he brings the attention back to his hands, “i assume you’re having a grand time now that you have your entourage.”

[notevenafacecard]

pamela isley.

Despite his onslaught of insults, Ivy couldn’t keep from letting her lips tug upwards into a smirk. There was something all too wonderful about watching him get angry - even if the words were tainted with sarcasm, she knew what lay just beneath it. She could feel it in his voice, in the way he tried to to get under her skin. It was absolutely delightful. “Oh, Joker… Clearly I give you more credit than you deserve.” Ivy moved slowly down the hall, her skin already starting to turn a faint shade of green - more of a threat than a true plan of attack. No point in attacking him just yet - she didn’t need the entire Batfamily chasing her down before she’d even had a chance to see if it was worth staying.

“Believe me, a cactus would be a much more comfortable throne than whatever whoopie cushion you choose to sit on,” she answered simply, leaning against the wall before she got what she considered to be too close.  “And as for Harley… Say what you like about our partnership, at least we know we can rely on one another. What are you good for? A laugh? A monkey slipping on a banana peel?” She cocked her head to the side, a wicked smirk on her face - better to act nonchalant about his own abuse relationship with Harley for the present moment. “Besides - I have my own reasons for being here. Reasons that I don’t really feel the need to tell you all about.”

Eyes roll for what feels like the thousandth time since the conversation began, the clown unable to hold himself back from acting like a child in a fight. ivy was the only person able to strike a cord in him, an anger that was unparalleled to that of what he held for bruce or harley herself. it was stemmed from the envy that he tried to push down when harley had chosen the redhead over himself and left him completely alone. too arrogant to see through his flaws (personally he didn’t think he had a single one) he’d rather channel out his rage in the pettiest way he possibly could-- by forgetting how to act like an adult in any given situation where ivy was involved.

“’m more useful than you,” it’s mumbled bitterly, arms moving to cross over his chest, like a child pouting. he’s pretending to not listen, running a hand through green locks, a common thing he did when he was too stressed to properly function. “am i not worthy of knowing the motives of the great pamela isley??” it’s full of bitterness, not once has he dropped his sarcastic tone. “i’ll show you mine if you show me yours,” it’s met with a laugh, because he truly thinks he’s hilarious for the joke.