are you ever going to update?
hi anon. i'm sorry for taking years to answer this. i'm answering this for closure, for myself and anyone still around who follows or remembers me.
i first started writing RI (and all other fic) when i was in my last year of high school. fandom, and tvd in particular, was my escape, creative outlet and coping mechanism with a life i was not terribly happy with. i was so, so passionate about this universe and i loved this ship so much. i think it shows in all the care and patience i have nurtured my writing with.
however, i always promised myself that i would try to change once i got to college. it was going to be my fresh start. i would start living my real life instead of living through characters from worlds that weren't real. and that included removing myself from fandom when the time came.
and i did it. it was not easy and there were days i didnt think i would ever feel a single good thing again but i never gave up. i discovered myself. who i was, what i cared about, what i value. i made the best friends i could ever ask for, after only ever knowing ones who chipped away at my self worth. i looked in the mirror and felt beautiful, after years of wishing i was. i kissed boys and got my heart broken and i did it again. after spending nights crying myself to sleep, nearly failing two classes, i achieved things academically and professionally i never thought i could. the life i live right now is a life i never thought i could actually have.
reading my stories back, i feel so much love for this universe i had immersed myself in. for my 17 year old self, who so fiercely loved everything except herself. i see my hopes and dreams and fears between the lines in my writing. i didn't realize it until i re-read my first fic just now, but i first started writing on new years eve 2016. on new years day 2022, i almost feel like a different person who has stepped through a time portal and is face to face with her past self. it is bittersweet and beautiful and nostalgic and a reminder to myself to never give up hope.
and if you are reading this, dear friend, i hope the last few years have been kind to you too. i hope you look back on this stage as fondly as i do. i know i will never meet any of you, but for a brief moment in time we were brought together by our love for these two characters and their love. i hope each and every person who ever belonged to our little fandom is happy and healthy and safe.
i'm sorry i never finished the story, but the girl who wrote it grew up into someone who could never finish it and do it justice. you know the ending anyway. they lived happily ever after.
