head chef @nothingburgerestaurant - Tumblr Blog

beautiful women called You Don't Want to be Alive and You're Too Scared to Die calling📲 me in my head

#doss ghis make ssnse this is fjnny fo me in my head #and fo the beautiful women

Ive been I think derealised since the age of 5 and I thought this was how everybody lived til I discovered otherwise in the 7tb grade and it's genyonely. Destroying my life. Because I can't fathom any consequences I can't work towards my future I can't do anything becauss my body doesn't process that this isn't all one big nightmare I'll wake up from eventually. I don't feel any sense of urgency until the gun is pointed right at my head. Even then I think. I just need to wake up. Its not real its not real well it is and I know that it is but. I don't feel it. And trying to Reattach to the real world is so painful I feel insane actually

#somebody sedate me Bruh

the thought of uni is genyinely making me sick to my stomach can't I just live in my maladaptive daydream where I'm a successful top student w so many friends and lovers 4ever and ever. Wdym I have to face my social ineptitude in the real world 🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️

even tho I don't Get what ppl r talking ab when they say this is girlhood this is boyhood (idk man sounds like this is patriarchal gender roles but ok) I do really understand what girls mean when they see a video of boys having fun and comment I Wish I Could Do This. And it does irk me when the boys r like erm u can? And it's like no actually its not that simple. .. I think when people talk about boyhood theyre probably talking ab (generally, mostly) being allowed to be so insanely carefree

#i said girls and boys becauss km talking like teenagwr #not grown men and women bwxauss i havent seen those comment sections

I llooooveeee going through my Instagram story archives all the time start to finish each time like hm maybe I don't hate myself all that much maybe this girl speaking on my phone is not all that insufferable she's kinda funny even

Tumblr mutualism is really funny U don't know me but u know my soul and secrets

circusheart

No death cab for ugly? Ugly has to walk?

#giggled i heart death cab for cutie sm it blinded me to the prejudice... justice 4 ugly

I want more movies on depersonalization and derealization and I also want them to be as beautiful and gut wrenching and relatable as I Saw the Tv Glow

#ive never felt more seen by a movie #like ya there r gender issues im refusing to unpack also but. everything from start to finish. so great #feeling like your Self is somewhere very far on the other side of the tv screen #losing urself completely in media u feel represented by because it “feels more real than real life”

to summarize ok. U hear the phrase 'make bad art" Often. I'd take it an extra step and say make bad art out of your good ideas. Let go of the preciousness. It's tying you down and you need to soar

My inexpert advice to young writers or just artists as a whole is u need to let go of ur ego a little. U need to unpack that part of your subconscious that wants to make art for the sake of being great. Kill it if you can. Focus on the art first, greatness comes later. Your first full collection, your first novel, your first art portfolio whatever. They're not meant to be perfect. you're not making them to be Great. you're making them for you. It's okay if they're not perfect they're not supposed to be. This applies to two main groups of people. 1) anyone who doesn't create because they're convinced they need to hone in their craft become the best so they can materialise the precious idea so very perfectly. Youre not gonna be a great novellist by not writing your first novel because you're stuck planning drafting redrafting reading every book on grammar watching every writing advice. But you might become great if you just write a novel and another and another. A similar idea applies to all the arts.

2) anyone who does create but it becomes so incredibly insanely precious they tie their worth to it. You're holding onto it too tight. I'm not tryna say your fears are fully true and there's no way for u to make it you won't be published or sponsored or what ever. But realistically, there's a chance you might not. If your ego is tied this heavily to it, you might burn and give up art forever if faced w roadblocks. Would you rather destroy your relationship w art as a whole? Or let go of this one idea?

I do understand also that ideas become more precious when you're convinced this is your best possible thought. When you can't think of anything better. It becomes even scary to let go of your concept, but I'm telling you the reason you can't conceive anything better rn is because you're too focused on this piece. Let go of it, let go of your ego, free your mind, and the great thoughts will come

I also understand when the idea in itself is so great that you wanna do it justice and get it the appreciation you know it deserves. You can always rewrite repaint redo later on in the years when u build ur skills. It's okay

#watch CJ the X's 7 deadly art sins #great great great video i need to rewatch #and greg guevaras videos on art #i got the last advice from his videos cant remember which

In school i really loved when people would ask me for help, and I'd get sad when they'd assume they were bothering me. I love explaining I love teaching i love helping. My life's dream is to become a professor

most of all, it felt like the one way i could connect with anyone. I love helping people it's the only thing that makes me feel alive and human. but I can't seem to figure out how to connect with people in a way that makes them know they could consider me when they need anything, and i really do mean anything. even if it's just someone to throw a silly idea at. I feel like. i aspire to extend a helping hand, but my hands are cold and cracked and wrinkly, yk, So people think oh maybe this robot is stuck! let me find someone else. I don't know

#Diaries of a robot alien girl #real real real old draft i forgot about

daily affirmations college will not be like high school college friends will not stress me like high school college life will not be as miserable as high school ok. Lock in.

Ive kept people that stopped being friends with meon my cf list in the hopes I'd post smth funny enough that they'd put our differences aside and interact practically basically worked LOL

growing up ugly will have u too scared to say Good Afternoon to the cashier

#DOES THIS MAKE SENSE it mskes sense in my head #sometimes i feel like when i get pretty my face will be more welcoming also

Everyday I get on the internet and see people live out dreams I didn't know I had. Ok.

koiagain

r u gay

Im above labels

also one day I hope to make a visual novel

#Hi Blog I just woke up

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