a shout into the void

I'm Jay. 30, Australian, not a very good Australian. INFJ. Real-life female Milhouse van Houten.

[notinretrograde]

Teachers be like "there's no minimum amount of required sources, you can have none if you want :)" -- and then penalise the shit out of you for not having enough.

[mygothicheroine-deactivated2023]

the sheer level of galaxy brain jane austen was on when she wrote “if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more”

[notinretrograde]

The six degrees of separation in Sydney feels incestuous without actually being incestuous (or so I know of).

People north of the Parramatta River, why y'all all know each other...

[magic-multicolored-miracle]

I really relate to Geralt of Rivia, because I too believe that the first step to solving any problem is a softly monotone but passionately felt “fuck.”

[studentlifeproblems]

[notinretrograde]

I don’t know if I’m getting old, but the clothes at Witchery now look really up my alley.

[notinretrograde]

Idk, I'm just feeling particularly in this moment at 3 in the morning that everybody single is finding love except for me, despite the fact that I have always been alone and everyone else has been shacked up for years -- that this is nothing new.

[notinretrograde]

I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I always attract fuckboys or men who aren't emotionally available.

[notinretrograde]

It's really hard to find a man that I like and to have that man like me back. Like actually like me.

Like for real.

[notinretrograde]

I don't think you want his love specifically.

I think you're yearning for something that's real. And there isn't anything wrong with that. It's human. It's human instinct. And it's not unhealthy -- not this time, not when you've done the work needed to be mentally attractive.

You've come such a long, long way to get here. You're complete without a man. You truly know where you're going without a man. And you like the way you live. You just want love -- to be appreciated for who you are. You're proud of you, finally -- that you want someone else to be as well.

You're just ready, for the first real time in your life. To have someone there. For someone to really be there.

[notinretrograde]

And what is fear

When no one knows

What comes next?

[notinretrograde]

As a demisexual, I'm finding myself in the strangest position mentally and emotionally.

What does it mean to love someone but to want to use them for practical physical purposes, for practice, to get with another person?

Would I be feeling this way if he returned my romantic feelings?

And what do I feel about this other person?

The other night felt unexpected.

This is my problem with getting under someone to get over someone else...

[anxietyproblem]

[notinretrograde]

It feels strange to feel stuck when the world around me--my world--keeps changing.

[notinretrograde]

My resilience is probably the strongest thing about me, but it doesn't mean I want to be.

[existiendo-en-letras]

[whitepeopletwitter]