Those Aren't Pants

We're here to point out that you're not wearing pants.

[notpants]

Sorry for the fowl mess but going through ones entire wardrobe so I can find things to donate to a family who's house has burned down can be quite messy. So how about you shut your pompous over critical mouth and mind your own damn business. Question how much do you hate yourself that you have to make unnecessary comments about other peoples photos to feel happiness. I really do feel bad for you and I hope one day you can grow up and be an actual human being.

How nice of you to suspend your charity to photograph yourself making a duckface into a mirror that is mounted on your not-burned-to-the-ground wall.  You're doing God's work.

[booseecat]

You know Its cold out when I wear leggins to bed. Do I look like a sceen kid yet? Lmao

[notpants]

"Should I take a selfie before bed or make an attempt at shutting my drawers so that my followers don't come to the conclusion that I'm a filthy slob?  I think I'll take a selfie.  Nobody will notice that I wash my clothes so infrequently that I habitually overload the dryer and end up with damp clothes that I half-heartedly stuff into this dresser until at least two of the drawers aren't overflowing with unfolded shit.  Yeah.  Selfie."

[ktsavage]

Im strange and I like it …its just the way I am

[notpants]

I respect your desire for being unique, but you're no different than every other girl who's decided to live and dress like the homeless.  Did you take this photo in the bathroom of a capsized cruise ship?  Jesus Christ.  Wear all the shredded rags you want, but clean your fucking bathroom.

[emfoxily-deactivated20160310]

I think I want these. #cats #leggings #target #yes #galaxy

[notpants]

Nothing says “creepy cat lady” better than these leggings. You may as well start brown bagging cat food cans so that the lunchroom knows exactly who they’re dealing with.

[monotonous-lifestyle]

And you, notpants, should wear a sign saying “asshole” so society knows exactly who they’re dealing with.

[notpants]

Wearing such a sign is the same thing as wearing these leggings - they both let onlookers know that the wearer is an asshole, but the sign doesn't allow those people to see your anus.

Choices: you've made yours.

[galaxyleggs]

[notpants]

These are either glow in the dark galaxy leggings or the pair that went missing after last year's rainbow party.

[galaxyleggs]

[notpants]

How about you close that fucking drawer, you lazy bunch of slobs.

[justkinky69-deactivated20140128]

[notpants]

This stairwell is the Large Hadron Collider for theoretical STD research.  This photograph was taken moments before the discovery of the Higgs Boson cold-sore.

[emfoxily-deactivated20160310]

I think I want these. #cats #leggings #target #yes #galaxy

[notpants]

Nothing says “creepy cat lady” better than these leggings. You may as well start brown bagging cat food cans so that the lunchroom knows exactly who they’re dealing with.

[misskaelenshye]

[notpants]

This young lady is either exhibiting the worst posture in the history of selfies tagged as #hotbody or she’s taking a moment to collect her thoughts before climbing the bell tower of Notre Dame. Either way, pants were never part of the plan.

[sheknowshowtowearpantyhose]

[notpants]

Beyonce is so wealthy that she's replaced her 24 karat gold tights by encasing her legs in a metallic shell that was manufactured by smelting 4,000 gold, contract-free iPhones that were produced by her personal crew of Foxconn employees.

[galaxyleggs]

[notpants]

Grimace takes a 5 minute selfie-break.

[mylifeaslindsey-deactivated2018]

Can we just talk about how much I love these leggings! They are tribal print and I believe they make my ass look great…just sayin’

[notpants]

If only there were a stretchy fabric you could wrap around your room to make it look like it wasn’t ransacked by desparate marauders. How about you pick some of the rumpled shit off of your floor before sharing ass-selfies with the world?

[mylifeaslindsey-deactivated2018]

How about you come over here and kiss my ass you asshole. Here let me worry about the pair of shoes, pair of pants, my purse and a basket of donation clothing, yes. Because the world really cares about every damn aspect of clothing on my floor. How about you find a damn bridge and jump over because no one gives a fly fuck about your opinion. If I wanna wear fucking leggings and show my ass to the internet than I’m going to. No one is stopping me and if I’m going to wear leggings as pants than I’m sure as hell going to. So you need to take your blog and your keyboard and shove them up your shallow asshole.

[notpants]

I think it's great that you're donating clothing.  Hopefully it's a basket full of the pants you've decided to abandon so that homeless people can cover their asses.

I think you need to research the definition of shallow, especially since you've decided that posting a picture like this takes priority over cleaning a room that looks like it was devastated by Super-storm Sandy.  If someone photoshopped you out of this picture and added a crying family and two men in hazmat suits, nobody would be able to tell that it wasn't real.

[mylifeaslindsey-deactivated2018]

Can we just talk about how much I love these leggings! They are tribal print and I believe they make my ass look great…just sayin’

[notpants]

If only there were a stretchy fabric you could wrap around your room to make it look like it wasn't ransacked by desparate marauders.  How about you pick some of the rumpled shit off of your floor before sharing ass-selfies with the world?

[psycho-inside-me-deactivated201]

[notpants]

Stop cutting yourself.  All the troubles you're trying to get past don't deserve a permanent place on your body.

That said, it would also be advisable to fire the Navajo cave painters you've hired to decorate your legs.

[itswh4tev3r-deactivated20140103]

Fav outfit

[notpants]

Congratulations on making your legs look like the accent chair in the second best hotel room Red Roof Inn offers to crank addicts and prostitutes!

[sweeter-expectations]

[agirlmonster]

HAHAHAHAHHA. She’s another species because she’s FAT! Get it, guys? Fat people aren’t people! And those things should just put on a muu muu! Because they are boats! Or sea lions! I think. And god forbid they wear something that shows their bodies because it OFFENDS MY EYECIRCLES. 

In other words, go fuck yourself in the ass with a hot tire iron, Notpants. 

Also, officially: I don’t like it when people wear leggings and don’t cover their ass. Doesn’t matter their size, I’m an equal opportunity judger. Also, it’s just my damn opinion.

[notpants]

I didn't mean to offend every fat girl on the internet, but I guess attacking a girl who is overweight is something that other fat girls won't stand for (which isn't saying much because they're hardly on their feet anyway).

[sweeter-expectations]

Would you stop judging girls who wear leggings as pants!

They are COMFORTABLE & they fit. Do you know how agonizing it is to try on ten pairs of jeans and have them all be too small on you? Leggings are easy. Black. Simple. Comfy. I don’t wear leggings so my ass will look good. And if my ass does...

[notpants]

I know you're not ashamed of revealing your undercarriage to the people behind you in the scone line at Panera Bread, but your easy way out of finding proper attire can only result in a complaint if it doesn't look flattering.

Generally, a complaint about leggings is never that the girl looks too good.  It's that the girl shouldn't be wearing them because she should be spending most of her day in a sea lion enclosure.

Consider the unidentified species on the left:

She has decided to test the physical limits of elasticity by covering her entire body with a fabric that was never designed for her neglectful lifestyle.  If you're telling me that she's wearing this outfit because it's easy, I'd love to see what she considers difficult.  As a person who has shrink-wrapped a boat, I can say that I'd hate to have such a task as part of my daily routine.

Clearly, it would be easier to drape her in something.