i feel like it would be pretty interesting to romance brian.
(for the purposes of this post and any other post featuring brian, i follow the headcanon that he survived the fall in 83).
oh, brian. the charmer. he's similar to tim, in some ways. paranoid, scared that he's going to hurt you somehow, and commitment feels scary – not because he doesn't want to settle down and have a normal life, but because he fears he does not deserve it.
however, unlike tim, he won't push you away – not immediately, at least. in fact, the first time you meet him, he's charming. sweet, but not unnaturally so. he's looking for something to fill the void, the ache in his chest that just won't seem to go away. because, as much as he likes to pretend he isn't, brian is still human at the end of the day. he has wants, desires to be normal and not the shell of the man he is now.
so, when he starts seeing you casually, he has all intents of seeing if this will work. if you can make him feel normal. and, to his surprise, you do! for the first time in forever, his charming smile returns, with the dimples and everything so you know it's genuine. he laughs when you tell him a joke he's heard a hundred times before, because he wants to see you smile. he wants you to feel like you're important.
he falls. hard. and at first, he thinks, this is nice! he thinks that maybe, finally, his past is behind him. that finally, blessedly, he can live a normal life.
but of course, brian isn't normal. he's done too much shit to ever be considered for a normal life. it was too good to be true. so, he pulls away. suddenly, this charming man that had swept you off your feet is less responsive, cancelling dates last minute, and is now pretending that he didn't spend however long pining after you and making you feel things you'd never felt before. he becomes cold. not mean, but certainly not the same man you thought you knew. it feels robotic. forced. and what he tells you before cutting off contact gives you great pause:
"Look, I'm flattered and all, but no."
"Go find a good man. A normal man. One who can give you a normal life. Something better than this."
but this wouldn't be a post about romancing him if you listened, would it?
much to brian's dismay, you stick around. despite him trying to hide it from you, you end up discovering it yourself. he had ghosted you, so you had to do some digging until you found it – where he lives, a small apartment on the outskirts of town that barely looks lived in.
you didn't understand what he had said by a normal man until you find him roughed up and covered in someone else's blood, still not completely aware of what's going on around him.
you don't cringe. you don't judge. you don't push him away, make him feel awful for what he already knows is wrong. instead, without a word, you get him to the couch. you would take off his bloody clothes, throw them in the wash with a generous amount of peroxide,
the next morning, he won't say much. he won't even thank you, as if saying it would acknowledge the thing you had seen the night before, confirming it was him... in a sense. a version of himself that he had kept buried, deep down, in fears that this 'person' he turns into was the real him. but you don't need him to say much of anything. you sit in silence, giving him the space he needs. he doesn't tell you what it was, because you already know. he knows that. and he doesn't want to beat a dead horse, so to speak.
once he's realized you're not leaving, for whatever fucked up reason, brian cracks. he had already put you on a bit of a pedestal in his mind, and so when he realizes that you're staying, despite the things he said, despite ghosting you, despite the shitshow that was the night before... well, shit.
things move slow. he treats your relationship as if you are a spooked animal, giving you every opportunity to back out if you want. he always seems thankful when you just give him a look, as if to say, 'you're not getting rid of me that easy,' and continue with your relationship. he likes to show you off, buy you nice clothes that grab attention, that make people see you. he loves to spoil you, believing that you deserve compensation for sticking around despite it all. expensive gifts, things you'll actually use, anything that you can hold up and proudly say, "yeah, brian got this for me." he loves it.
he sticks around after your dates, making sure your home is safe and secure. if you let him, he'll practically move into your place, spending every night in your bed, holding you close, laying as still as possible. as if moving in his sleep will shatter the illusion, still not fully believing that you chose him. he'll never really believe it, no matter how many weeks, months, even years he ends up spending with you.
brian may not be a normal guy, but you make him feel the closest to normal he's ever felt. and he thinks it's okay if, at least for now, he holds onto that feeling for as long as you'll have him.
