Useless

[notspecialbutdumb]

Leeets talk about karma. We all know, karma is a bitch blablabla no. If karma is a bitch, you is a bitch. It will all pay off in one or the other way. Sooo!

Yesterday when I went grocery shopping and had a woman in front of me at checkout. Her plastic money didnt work and she had no cash so I paid her stuff. Just... being kind I guess... now we remember the human I've been seeing like almost a year ago, me, having the most motherfucking biggest crush on them like ooooomfg

Today they texted me to meet, like just for a moment and who am I to say no!? We met, talked, smoked, just... had a good time until they had to leave... and then... on their way back... turned arround, looked at me and... "I love you"

I ALMOST PUKED INTO THE BUSHES hooooly shit

And now, today, first day in a quite long time again, I don't wanna die anymore, at least a little less ^^ can't stop smiling *u*

[notspecialbutdumb]

Guuuuys, soon its gonna be christmaaaas ^^

Hate it, lol

When family, those who hate each other the rest of the year, is so "sweet" and "nice" and ask what you wish for... well, not that hard, I wish I had a real home. A place to be, where noone and nothing hurts me, not by words, not by actions and also not by shity architecture. Obviously, this is too much to ask for but this is all I want and need besides my interests which they dont wanna support (tattooart). At this point I am a little mad abt this amount of over consume. I have the great privilege of not beeing in need of something, there might be things I want but no need, but why does this make others mad? Just don't get it... Family is a really bad joke

[notspecialbutdumb]

I wanna share my favorite quote from my girlfriend when we were like... 14 or 15 I guess

" Why do sexualities have flaggs? Like, they are no nations so... why?"

Oh my sweetest dear, I still don't know xD

[notspecialbutdumb]

Okay... okay... there was a time when a toxic relationship was a shity and stupid thing cuz urgh noo, the other person is so bad, I can't so this anymore blablabla and yup, shity relationship is shity relationship but then! Mindpuke from the other side, what if I'm the toxic ass bitch cuz well... I am lol

So, anyone out for a emotional rollercoaster and no willing to change, a king of chaos looking for a queen of pain? Whatever, chicken is back and I just had a tea party last night. Life is so great I wanna die.

[notspecialbutdumb]

It's me, I'm the problem, the things in my mind and my inner voice. She's such a bitch. Love her xD

Maybe maybe maybe I started seeing someone... like a total cutie, super kind, eyes that make me cry in a good way and fuck, such a lovely humanbeing. Now, we remember this little bitch in my head constantly telling me how boring, annoying and lazy I am and never could be liked or even loved by someone like this.

I feel so stupid, so close to being happy and the only thing stopping me is <^> my stupid ass <^>

Besides this, my chicken is gone again and I miss her...

[notspecialbutdumb]

Someone tell me, why am I so stupid? The chicken thing, bad enough but no, things get even worse...

Once, when I were sweet 15 I fell in love. Was my first time... I ended the relationship blablabla and now, half a decade later stupid ass me fell in love with this same person again and guess what, no interest anymore... so now there's me, lying in bed, crying my fucking eyes out and hoping to die cuz I don't wanna fucking live anymore in this shitty ass world but hey, it's Friday... gonna see my favorite TV show... and noone will care for my dog so no possibility to end it haha...

Just in case, I love you. I really do. I'd do anything for just one last kiss.

[notspecialbutdumb]

Well, in my last post I talked abt my chicken leaving my room for vacation... things happened.. I did a thing... I do stupid things so often...

I had sex with her crush, a human I don't even like. Some may thing 'but why would she do this' and haha no, no selfharm this time... just my friends tellin me they believe my rapist more than me and I should leave their place and rather not come back as long as he, the man who is so sweet and nice and can't keep his hands by himself, is there to have fun.

I didn't understand the situation, drunk a little too much and then, there it was. The toilet on my way back home. And he, the man my best friend, my soulsister, my chicken loved once and maybe still does somehow. I'm so sorry I did this, I totally understand she needs time to think abt all this now but I feel like my life fell apart in this one night.

I wish I could make it unhappen, just pee in a stupid bush or on the streets, have her with me while realising I lost the rest of my friends as well.

As Lana del Rey sang "I don't wanna live"

You're not gonna read this chichi, why should you but I want you to know I love you, I'll be waiting with cake, a great and tasty meal, a drink and a sweet good night present whenever you come back home.

[notspecialbutdumb]

Good morning y‘all, well, my sweet Chicken left my room for holidays, she‘ll be back in two weeks and now I dunno what the hell I should do with my time… anyone wanna make friends? I‘m totally useless and unfriendly most of the time

[notspecialbutdumb]

So, please, bring back the funny parts of tumblr… why the hell is everything like… growing up? Fells like the funny parts died as a child turning into an adult but WHYYY!?!? I miss the dirty fucks, funny memes and conversation not just half crying half „aah I‘m such a great Idol acting like I‘m perfect“ like holy fuck I want my strange 13yrs old mindset back

[notspecialbutdumb]

To those who watched Phineas and Ferb in their childhood

You remember Perry the Platypus? He is not the only one. The Platypus is an animal from Australia and this species is on this world since almost always. And now is it dying and a reason of this is the climate change.

So PLEASE guys, if you wanna let your kids know that Perry the Platypus is based on a real animal do something to stop the cimate change. I don't want you to safe the world, I just want you to think about doing something suppotive to safe the animal of your childhood.

Yeah... thats it...

"A normal platypus..."

"PERRY THE PLATYPUS"

Ok bye

[notspecialbutdumb]

Life is giving and getting... you're giving everything for getting robed every bone. The humanity is existing for the system and the system is stupid. Why am I forced in a picture of person the system wants me to be? I DONT WANNA BECOME A PART OF THIS STUPID STUFF! I wanna have my own life without bills for everything I'm not even using or I don't wanna use but have to cuz "it's necessary today" well... as a good humanbeing you have to be normal. Okay. I am. I am MY normal and not one second sorry it's not the normal of others cuz everyone is unique and this stupid system makes us all the same! Okaay a doctor is not an actor or a bus driver but those jobs lable the person as an object. Are you an object? I am not and I dont wanna be!

[witchyndbitchy-deactivated20210]

The moon is beautiful reblog if you agree

[notspecialbutdumb]

It is... nothing more to say...