Things that are Things. @nottryingtogetby - Tumblr Blog

I’ve been back on Wegovy for three weeks and nothing has changed

Even if I’m not hungry I still want food and incredible amount

Having no job makes me feel like the biggest fucking loser

All of my loves fell asleep before me because jobless me has an absolutely awful sleep schedule

They are all verrrryyyy cute

STRAIGHT RAGE SO USING SHOUTY CAPS

IF YOU ARE ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS FOR A JOB AND USING AN HR SOFTWARE TO HANDLE THAT PROCESS

THERE IS NO MOTHERFUCKING REASON YOU SHOULD BE GHOSTING CANDIDATES

THE FUCKING SYSTEM CAN BE SET UP TO AUTO SEND EMAILS

IF I SPENT 6 HOURS INTERVIEWING IT IS BEYOND DISRESPECTFUL TO STOP ANSWERING MY EMAILS AND NEVER TELLING ME WHAT HAPPENED

If anyone watches Love Island

Trinity’s confession

I did that in high school with both of my parents in the car

Teenage hormones are wiiilllld my friends

There was no finish though

Weird thing about me is 50% of the time my nails have eyeballs on them

Why?

Ever since work from home became a thing I have enjoyed having fun nails and I’m a little weird so flowers or other things aren’t for me

So eyeballs it is

Also there is a good chance I have two different sets of nails going on on both hands

I probably have talked about my number ocd but sometimes I get frustrated if other people don’t understand the rules I’ve made for myself

Example: I go to a show with a long time friend who I haven’t seen in a while and we have seats 103 and 104 so I ask him if he can sit in 104 because it’s a bad number and he said “yes but isn’t it a good number because when you add them together it makes an odd number?” Absolutely not because 5 is a bad number and 4 is the only good even number and I only add the numbers together if the last number is not a good number. (1,3,7,9 are good numbers and 4 is acceptable but not if it’s the last number only if the other numbers add to 4 and only if the last number is not a good number)

Also I do not enforce it on my parents or J and I do a better job not getting other people involved but sometimes if they aren’t looking I will adjust the volume or temperature to a good number

I used to ask him to change it but he calms me so I don’t mind as much

I was also doing ok getting out of bed and not looking at the time if I didn’t have an alarm

Now I’m stuck waiting for a good number again and I end up freaking out and delaying getting out of bed because it doesn’t feel like the right number

But my therapist says I’m still significantly more well than I’ve ever been and that I’m reacting because I’m upset about not having a job

Sleepy tiny girl. Sheldon Cooper and Frankie Grande and good Chinese. I never appreciated it when I was young but I love the proximity I have to the city. Big thanks to therapy for helping me get to the point I can go to things and not panic.

If I came upon Jason Momoa I would not be mad

To be fair she also still smokes occasionally which makes me even more angry

J smokes cigarettes when he’s stressed and I have to say that with my mom being sick it makes me crazy when I am smell it on him

Like want to punch him in the face kind of crazy

I am currently on the sofa and my little pup went to the other side and I was quite offended

I stretched out my legs and she touched her paws to my foot

Our toes are now interlocked

I can’t get a picture because it’s dark and I don’t want her to wake up

But imagine this except also my foot is there

Probably the hardest part of my unemployment aside from not being paid is how far it’s backsliding my mental health

It’s been almost four months and I’ve gained a ton of weight and done nothing productive and second guess my worth every minute of every single day

I cry before speaking to anyone for job related reasons and the other day was given a talking to by an HR person because I had some computer issues on my interviews that “made them concerned about my ability to work from home” despite working from home for six years and then the lady told me they can only do 25k less than I need

I had to lie through my teeth that I’d be ok with that while praying one of the other jobs would reach out before my last interview because NY doesn’t let you refuse an offer

I live in one of the most expensive places and I took a backslide in pay to go back to my old job with the promise of partial ownership

If I took a job 25k less than even that I’m going back 6 years in title and rate

I’ve only interviewed with 4 places in 4 months and felt super confident about my interviews until I haven’t heard anything for a week or two

If they all fall through I have nothing

I’ve lost an incredible amount of money and I have spent poorly assuming work would come

I’m absolutely miserable all of the time and don’t understand how to move forward

I have an incredibly anxious attachment style and I’ve finally realized that I get frustrated because J doesn’t constantly say nice things to me but he has indicated he gets frustrated because no matter how many times he shows me or tells me I don’t believe him

He’s told me he gets really upset when I ask repeatedly if he likes me or if he wants to do forever with me because it makes him feel like I don’t think so or want to

It finally makes sense to me but now I need to work with my therapist to help myself to be more confident

I know that no one cares about my perfume collection and honestly it’s insane at this point but I will tell you that if you want to smell like Cocoa Butter you should try the Gisou Hair Perfume Cocoa and then Brown Girl Jane’s perfume called Chalet.

I smell delightful.

I had that mole removal surgery about three months ago and I’m definitely just going to have a nasty scar right above where my hip and pubic area are

For the rest of my life

And then possibly other areas because I seem to be prone to potentially cancerous moles

This surgery was much deeper than the first time which was about 10 years ago

This surgery required that they take a lot of tissue because the doctors weren’t sure if it was or wasn’t melanoma

Obviously I’d rather a scar vs having melanoma but I will say this being where it is and the other one being about an inch from my 🍑 hole does make me feel ugly

Boobs are just squishy fidgets but for adults

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