@frfldโ asked:ย tell me something hopeful.
๐ฃ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ข๐ ย ๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ย ๐ญ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ ย ๐ก๐ข๐ฆ ย ๐ญ๐ก๐ ย ๐๐ง๐ ย ๐ข๐ฌ ย ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง ย ๐ฌ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ.ย ย spin him a story about how it all will make sense when itโs over, but he knows the truth. at the tail end of trauma there is no real making sense of it, thereโs only the aftermath, picking up the pieces of yourself, your loved ones and living with the trauma. dwight isnโt new to this, heโs not new to this flavor pain and the ever-present dangling carrot that sits in front of the group. the tired, hungry would be saviors that are surviving on carbtein and spite. she doesnโt feel like lying to him, but sheโs aware of what dwight is trying to do. things could always be worse, thereโs no reason not to be grateful for now.
[ ย ๐๐ฎ๐ญ ย ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ซ๐'๐ฌ ย ๐ ย ๐ ๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ง๐ ย ๐ก๐จ๐ฅ๐ ย ๐ข๐ง๐ฌ๐ข๐๐ ย ๐จ๐ ย ๐ก๐๐ซ. ย ]
an orphan of the new age, a true orphan now, on one hand sheโs grateful. grateful itโs over, relieved at the closure, but god she is at the end of girlhood and grieving for everything. the things she mightโve been, and the things that were done to her. dwight wants to help her with bittersweet misery, and she has no doubt he could, but in the same vein of her leadership skills, comes stubbornness with itโs unlovable claw holding delicate hands and sinew. clasping her tight if she were to try and walk away and be anything vulnerable.
โย weโreย notย deadย yet.ย ย โย the words give her pause as they fall from bruised lips, a cut healing near the center of her mouth. the words sound hollow, as if this is a poor recompense for not having the decency to feed yourself to the earth. she can feel his gaze on her, but unable is she to tell whether he is horrified or some other emotion. she hears a laugh, and her brows furrow. oh, he got the joke. the joke she didnโt even realize she was telling, and her laugh is more of her trying to fit in than anything sincere.ย
โย godย iย fuckingย hateย thatย word.ย โ
yet.ย asย ifย sheย wantedย toย becomeย anythingย else. asย ifย sheย everย hadย aย choice.
