mia, go away @notyourdaddysgirl - Tumblr Blog

I hope you get help and heal from the things you don’t talk about

Thank you 💔

Being a drug addict who’s in recovery who low key wants to use fucking sucks

#personal #braingames #recovery

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Francesco Binfaré for Edra Italy Angels Series 1996

ketzalcoatl

ketzal_coatl

ketzalcoatl

ketzal_coatl

#personal #braingames #phewphew

#personal #braingames #phewphew #throwd off #throwback #screaming

Megan~

Baby girl you decided to drink tonight. Please don’t be mad at yourself..but it’s okay to cry. I know you hate to admit you have a problem…but you do. You crave the darkness..but it will be the end of you. You want more for your life? You have to stay clean. You want to do better? Admit you’re broken. Acknowledge you’ve hurt yourself. Acknowledge you want comfort. It’s okay you don’t want to be alone. You don’t have to struggle in secret. You aren’t alone. Don’t be scared to be open.. I believe in you.. I know you miss it. I know you crave it. I know you want to be medicated. Right now you’re bobbing your head but you feel like you want more. You’re scared to step out of your room. You’re scared of the people you live with. You’re scared to be seen. You feel exposed right now..and you just want to sleep.. FUCK What do I do

#personal #braingames

Plotting but I have no plan. I can’t do anything to satisfy this need for more. I’m chewing gum to make the smell dissipate. I can’t do shit but stir in this situation I’ve put myself in

#braingames #personal

Holy fuck being in this state of mind makes me realize I’ve been STRONG AS FUCK since I’ve been free. Staying away from everything, but it hasn’t even been 2 months since I’ve gotten realized and I’m already drinking… even one day sober is an accomplishment. I failed to recognize that until now that I feel inebriated and craving another fix. Gah give me more booze..give me something. Sleep medicine, wine, anything. I want to shut my brain off

#braingames #personal

Codependency is a real fucking issue. I’m a wee bit drunk and craving more. I want more. More. More. More. I’m flirting with people. Cody. Amanda. Cody. No fucks given right about now. I just want someone to fucking hold yo. I’m tired of being alone. I’ve been married for 8 years, separated for 7 years. Havent been alone for a long time. I don’t want to be alone!!! I’m sad. I’m lonely. I’m a drug addict tryna stay sober. It’s fucking hard as fuck every single day. I feel sick, I drank some wine, I’m nauseous. At least it’s not heroin or meth. But I could of been something so wonderful in life. But instead I rot

#braingames #personal

I relapsed on alcohol after being clean for 16 months. I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m talking to my ex girlfriend and ex boyfriend and a guy from my group.. spilling my heart out to them. I got triggered by a fucking movie, I’m almost out of wine. I want to smoke some dope but that isn’t going to happen.. I want to cry. I want to scratch out my eyes. I’m so upset. I remember that feeling of wanting to just end it all.. only experiencing darkness. I want my brain to shut off but for some reason I’m still alert..but not being myself. Someone I know has opiatess and they’re in my house and I so badly want to be fucking stupid but I know I can’t because I’ll be caught. The addict in me is hungry and god do I want to satisfy her so much. The devil makes me have what you’d call nightmares but to me I love the thrill. I miss SAFPF. I miss BVCASA. Why would I miss being incarcerated so much? I loved the girls I was housed with.. Gah.. I want to change

#braingames #personal