thyayey

love taking random photos and i also have been writing my thoughts on my phone's notes, so might as well post them here hehe

[notyourthya]

Note to thyself

Dear self,

It’s a week of realizations and I know you won’t admit it wasn’t all easy, but I am very much proud of you. There are times that you feel so down but look, you manage! Unlike before that you would let your emotions get the best of you, you now try to give yourself time to acknowledge these emotions and process what you can do to feel better. I know there are still days that you wish you had someone to lift you up when it get’s too heavy, but look at you. You are learning to stand on your own and you are doing very well. Keep going, Thys. Everything is going to be fine. 

[notyourthya]

a chapter of u

There are so many questions I would like to ask you Questions that I never thought would still be unanswered all this time

Did you ever like me? Did you ever see yourself loving me? Did you even try to consider being with me? Do you still think of what could have been? Am I that difficult to love?

And the list goes on…

But on top of it all, I want to look in your eyes and ask you, “of all the things I mentioned that you could have done, why did you do what you did?”

Because who would have thought that months after, I am still trying to move on from you, To get over from everything we have been and everything you have made me feel? The truth is, it was the happiest I have been in years and I wouldn’t mind feeling it over and over again

It may not have meant anything to you But to me, it means the world and a lot more  I may be just one of the hundred girls you have brought to your heavens But to me, you’re the only one who made me feel like I’m on the top of the world, out of hundred guys who made me feel like hell Whatever we had may just be a phrase that has existed somewhere in the middle of a thousand pages of your book But to me, you are a whole chapter that brings so much smiles on my lips and so much butterflies in my stomach.

Weird enough, I am not a good writer Not someone who can easily express my thoughts either But when you broke my heart, I have found myself writing more And without even noticing it, I have written enough of a chapter that will always remind me of what we were A chapter beautiful enough to be my favorite And maybe, just maybe, that’s the reason why I am still stuck Because of the uncertainty of what happens in the next chapters, I choose to read the one that makes my heart beat and stop at once, again and again And will continue to do so, until it’s ready to beat for another time and to go onto the next ones

[dualvoidanima]

[notyourthya]

there is not much very much left with my heart and i could only pray that the right person comes before someone else comes again to mess with what’s left, and shatter them until there’s no more

[especially]

[understands]

for more posts, follow centronorth

[understands]

[understands]

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[notyourthya]

imy

[understands]

[understands]

for more posts, follow centronorth

[justfvckintyler-deactivated2023]

i wanted to feel loved without feeling like i was begging for it

[notyourthya]

[notyourthya]

[eliminated]

[notyourthya]

Paalam na nga ba? Kung hindi na tayo magkikita, nawa’y mangyaring hilahin tayo ng kamay ng Diyos, sa isang pagkikita. Sa isang pangitain.

[eliminated]

[notyourthya]

One thing I have come to realize from all of this is no matter how much you try to educate and inform others, even if it means shoving things down to their throats, and even if it means telling them just to be human, they will never understand simply because of privilege. They will never understand and will never give a damn until it directly affects them or the people they love, and it just sucks. This pandemic just reveals that it isn’t reading comprehension that is lacking from most people, EMPATHY is. And that’s something you can not instill into anyone.

[notyourthya]

isa dalawa tatlo BITAW.

[notyourthya]

God knows how thankful I am for you no matter what; thankful for I found a home and a safe haven in you when I was lost, thankful for all the times I became so happy and safe around you, for all the times I found comfort and warmth in your arms, for all those little moments that you allowed yourself to be mine, and for all the memories you’ve shared with me, that tho they may remain just like that - memories, they are ones I’ll forever keep close in my heart.

[notyourthya]

Perhaps it’s enough

Sometimes the boundaries get blurry. Perhaps it's the moans that dare not leave the room. Perhaps it's the way you grip my thighs as you fill me inside, how the aftermath always leaves my body with electricity as it begs for more. Perhaps it's the way that I wanted you to hurt me in the right kind of way.

Or perhaps it's in the way you talk passionately about people and things and how it fascinates me. Maybe it's the way that you fill the void that was in me, with your gentle words and endearments, or even with they way you held me so close to you and how it seems like we fit just right with each other at that moment.

I have always been a sucker for boys like you. Somehow, you make sense in this state of nothingness. In this nothingness, I found something that beguiled me. I found affection and solace in a situation that I'd never even thought I'd be in.

I'd be lying if I say that you're going to be someone that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with, because baby, I know it can never go beyond than what it already is. But I'd also be lying if I say that I didn't enjoy every moment that I've had with you. I was a misguided soul who found comfort and warmth at this dissonant state of my life. And maybe, just maybe...

Even if this is all there is to it, perhaps it's enough. I hope it's enough. 

for hk. x

[notyourthya]

With a place away from everything, we had the beach all for ourselves With nothing but drinks in our hands, we walked around in a daze With a sky full of stars above us, we listened to the wind and waves.

But just like the waves hitting the shore, all of this breaks and fades away ~

[notyourthya]

may we never have another time to realize that we have taken little things for granted - things we thought didn't matter at that exact moment, but now we all wish to be ours again 

Streetmarket, Station X, Boracay Nov. 30, 2019