Reach for the Stars

Private and Selective and EXTREMELY canon divergent Sun from Pokemon Sun and Moon. Please read my about pages before interacting. Affiliated with @iciumnebulae

[novae-sol]

Where have u been no one asked And the truth is I went to a con met the guy who sung the original pokemon theme song, got his autograph, came home, con crash, got super addicted to ffxiv and now I sick. I live my absolute best fucking life 

[novae-sol]

Reminder that you’re not shit and Paul left you for me 😘

“What’s that smell? Is that new perfume? I think I know that brand-- it’s called insecurity isn’t it?”

[novae-sol]

iciumnebulae‌:

Punishment. That word always sent a chill down Lillith’s spine, terrifying her to her core. It was Lusamine’s favorite word, honestly. Didn’t eat one singular crumb of dinner? A punishment to teach you gratitude. Caught with the light on one millisecond after lights out? Punishment. She couldn’t imagine what Lillian had gone through, and yet…

“You’re not seriously blaming Nebby because you decided to be the hero and try and distract Mother’s goons, are you? Get a grip, Lillian! I’m sorry about your hair, truly, I am, but Nebby doesn’t deserve such harsh words!”

She raised her hands as if she was ready to punch Lillian, then quickly put them down. Nothing set her off more than her sister immediately going into insults and degradation of others. That attitude wouldn’t fix a thing. Lillian had to know that, right?

“Look, let’s just forget it. If we don’t at least pretend to be travelling together, the Professor and Hau will wonder what happened. You want to make a good impression, don’t you? Or are you going to end on bad terms with yet more people?”

There’s a long and uncomfortable pause. However, when Lillian mentions that Nebby doesn’t deserve such harsh words over hair she grits her teeth. It was so much more than hair-- but Lillian didn’t feel like explaining that to Lillith. Lillian was sure she didn’t care.

   “I wish all she did was cut my hair,” She doesn’t bother looking at her twin sister, “You’re right. I was a fool. That’s why I’m not going to make that mistake again. Keep that thing away from me. I’ve paid my dues,” She hissed out. Remain calm, Lillian. If you get angry and punch her out it will only cause trouble, “But I’m not going to sit here and listen to you defend that little monster. If mom comes for you I’m not going to step in this time. You chose that thing over your sister. And that thing chose a weakling like you to protect it.”

   Somehow, a quiet apathy had settled in her once again. She would shove the pain away just like she did all the other times she’d been forced to. There was no point in being sad or angry-- there wasn’t any point in being anything really. It wouldn’t change anything, and it certainly wouldn’t erase the months of torment she’d suffered all because she’d dared try to do the right thing.

   “I don’t particularly care, actually. I wanted to try to make friends with them, but if it’s at the expense of having to deal with and babysit you then I guess I don’t need them as friends. I’ve made it this far without relying on anyone. I’m not like you, I don’t need people to baby me.”

[novae-sol]

bagmystique -> novae-sol

[novae-sol]

I think I’m going to just make the twins of sun and moon my main verse and revamp this blog to be a wildly canon divergent sun / moon blog. I rped lillie yeaaaars ago and honestly? I have more muse for Lillian rather than Lillie hence why I’ve like.... only rped with Hiiro.  It works since Lillian essentially replaces sun / moon in that verse and goes by sol. So I think that’s what I’ll do so I can actually have some interest in this blog.

[novae-sol]

When Lillith out there acting exactly like Lusamine and you can’t do anything but watch the descent into madness

[novae-sol]

iciumnebulae‌:

“There is nothing wrong with you. Stop that right now.”

How could her sister say that and then bring up all the stuff Lillith was forced to do? They were both equally messed up. Lusamine’s favorite form of punishment was forcing Lillith to become a ‘proper lady’. Dance lessons, violin lessons, and a good beating when she messed up. Things she would have wanted to do as a child were plagued by those memories. She never wanted to do those activites again, despite her social status practically demanding she behave like Lusamine raised her to.

Tears were beginning to well in her eyes. Snapping at her sister always hurt Lillith a lot. She didn’t like doing it, but sometimes the stuff Lillian said got under her skin, even if it wasn’t meant to. The other had a brash way of speaking, it caused problems at time. While Lillith was reserved, Lillian was anything but.

“You don’t have to forgive any of us. I should have gone back for you, I really should have… but I’ve never had the strength to do what Gladion could. I’ve never had the ability to just let things happen and rush into danger for the sake of others. Out of the three of us, I’m the weak one. Maybe running Aether is my way of trying to cover it up.”

She pulled her sister into a gentle hug, burying her face in her shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I really am. I don’t know how I can make up all the hurt I caused you.”

She had always envied Lillith. She always seemed to get the attention from their mother that Lillian never could. Whether or not it was a punishment hadn’t mattered to Lillian growing up. All she had ever known was that Lusamine had praised and valued Lillith more because she was capable of being a proper lady. The only thing Lillian had ever really been praised for was her long hair-- and that had been taken from her as a punishment.

In fact, Lillian was sure that was the reason Lusamine had cut her hair all those years ago.

“... You were protecting Nebby from Mother. It... it couldn’t be helped. The same could be said of Gladion and Silvally, and logically, I know this, and yet I....” A long pause followed. Her voice was shaky and unsure of itself. Damn it, she was the Alola League Champion-- she should have been better than this. A sob escaped her as she tried to desperately to hold back tears, “I...I always felt like I didn’t belong. Mom doted on you, Gladion protected you, and... I don’t even remember Dad.”

She feels her sisters arms wrap around her, and Lillian doesn’t know how to feel. 

“I guess, when she locked m up I.... I wanted to believe that someone would come back for me, hold me, and tell me it’s ok, but... it was so unrealistic to hope for that. I shouldn’t have taken it so personally, but I... no, even still I...” She doesn’t dare finish that sentence. She can’t ever hope to admit that the wounds from when she was 13 still ache.

“I can’t blame you. What you did was logical and right, and that’s what makes me so upset to come home. I’m feeling things that I know are illogical and unfair, and it just reminds me... how much weaker I am than you. You’re not weak, Lillith. You’re strong. You still chose to lead Aether even after everything. Not everyone is so... generous or kind or forgiving. I can’t even forgive the things that happened when we were thirteen,” Her voice was barely above a hoarse murmur and tears had begun to bite at her eyes. She tried to blink them away, but it was too much.

They spilled over and showed no signs of stopping. 

“It’s the reason Paul left too. All I do is cause trouble for the one’s I love. I’ve always just been a burden-- the extra-- the unwanted one.”

[novae-sol]

iciumnebulae‌:

The graveness in her twin’s voice cut deep into Lillith. But she ignored it regardless. She wanted to help her sister. Lillian did not deserve any of the grievance she had gotten from their mother for her mistakes.

Mother cut her hair. That was beyond cruel. That was the first thing Lillith had to wrap her head around. Mother complimented Lillian’s hair all the time, stroking it and brushing it and pampering it. She had always given Lillian praise and compliments over it. The other statements would have to bee dealt with later. Lillith wanted the whole story as to what Lillian’s fate had been.

“Slow down. Explain some things to me,” Lillith said gently, “She did what to you? Why?”

“I can’t promise I can help, but please, let’s calm down…”

       “It was the same as it always was. Punishment. An ugly child like me didn’t deserve such beautiful hair, so she took it away from me,” Her voice is void of any emotion. She’d descended into a numb sort of apathy over the situation. The hair would grow back--- it was he way her mother had spewed such vile words at her that stung months after the fact.

     “I rotted away in Aether for months while you got to live with Professor Kukui and his wife. How nice it must have been to not think about the family you left behind,” Lillian hissed anger suddenly lacing her once apathetic tone. She hated her sister. She’d always been the one who was wanted and Lillian was simply the one that suffered, “I don’t want your help. I would rather die than except any help from you or that... that THING,” She hissed suddenly turning a harsh glare to Cosmog, “Any good will I had towards that thing is gone. It’s a monster. Do whatever the hell you you want with it.”

   She turned away from Lillith, her hands balled into fist. She could feel her nails digging into the palm of her hand. The physical pain was a momentary distraction from the anger that coursed through her blood like poison.

[novae-sol]

iciumnebulae‌:

Sure, the Pikipek was harmless, but Lillie didn’t care. She was embarrassed her issues had manifested once more, but besides that, Sol seemed annoyed that she had panicked immediately. Sol kept talking down to her in pretty hurtful ways.

By this point, Lillie was quite fed up with Sol’s attitude.

“Thank you for your help and your advice, but I think I’m just fine sticking with you, like Professor Kukui asked me to. Not sure why, considering you’re being a complete jerk to me!” It took a lot to make Lillie mad, so the fact Sol had managed to do it so easily was an accomplishment. Only one other person had been able to do it so easily, and Lillie grew even more suspicious as to why Sol looked so familiar.

“You know, I had a feeling I knew who you were, and I think I’m right. Only my sister has been able to push my buttons so easily. So out with it, Lillian. What are you doing disguising yourself? And what happened to your hair, I thought you liked it long?”

    “Don’t...” Her voice started out as a whisper, but the more she tried to hold back-- pretend to be ‘Sol’-- the angrier she got. Finally she turns a menacing and hateful glare to her twin sister.

              “Don’t ever call me by that name again!”

   Her voice is loud enough to send a flock of Pikipeks flying off into the sky. She was beyond angry at this point. She had tried to hold back, but if Lillian insisted on being this way then she’d be mean-- she’d be nasty.

    “Same reason you are-- oh, but I guess  don’t really have to. Mom doesn’t want me-- after all, you’re the one who made off with her little project,” Her voice is practically dripping with venom now, “I did, but Mom cut it. I haven’t bothered letting it grow back out. Don’t see the point. Long hair is easy to grab,” She responded icily.

     “Also, don’t bother freaking out. I’m not here to drag you back to Mom. In fact, I want little to do with Aether as possible. I wanted to be a trainer and travel around Alola, there’s no ulterior motive here,” Lillian explained, “As far as I’m concerned, we aren’t family. Not anymore. I’m only being nice so I don’t upset Professor Kukui and Hau-- but make no mistake, I have no intention of ever being chummy with someone like you.”

[novae-sol]

iciumnebulae‌:

“Yeah… it is nice…”

Lillie trudged behind Sol silently. It was getting clearer and clearer that Sol was angry at her, though Lillie couldn’t imagine why. Sol was getting further and further away, causing Lillie to have to walk faster to catch up.

“S-Sol, wait up!”

Lillie sped up to a jog, trying to make sure they didn’t get separated. She wasn’t a trainer, so getting separated opened her up to-

“Piiii!”

Lillie screamed and collapsed onto the floor, shielding herself from being touched by the Pokemon. “S-Sol! Help! I’m not a trainer!”

The Pikipek was clearly not aiming to attack, but it didn’t matter to Lillie. Whenever Pokemon approached her, she shut down, as if there was nothing she could do for herself.

“Sol! Please!” she pleaded, hoping the other would hear her and come back to help.

   Though Lillie had asked for her to slow down, Sol had no intention of slowing down. She wanted to get to the next town and start the trial and go. She had no intention of sitting and chatting with Lillie. This small moment had already tore open wounds she thought were healed and poured salt on them. 

   However, she paused when she heard Lillie scream for help. In that moment, the worst part of her said to leave Lillie behind. She could deal with a small wild Pikipek that wasn’t even aggressive just like Sol had been left behind to deal with their mother. But, she knows she’ll never hear the end of it from Kukui and Hau. She didn’t want to seem hostile to the beloved assistant to professor Kukui.

   She paused for a moment and turned back to go back for Lillie, “Go, Litten! Chase off that bird!” She ordered throwing out the tiny kitten of a pokemon. Considering the pokemon wasn’t aggressive it didn’t take long to run off.

   Sol turned her icy gaze toward Lillie, and her voice betrays just a hint of annoyance, “You need to be more careful if you aren’t a trainer, Lillie. Not all Pokemon are going to be as passive as the Pikipeks, and I’m not a baby sitter. If you want company, you’re better off hanging out with Hau or Professor Kukui.”

[novae-sol]

iciumnebulae‌:

What did I just do..?

“Lillian, that’s not- just, forget the money. We’re family. It annoys me, but you’re my sister. Just forget I said that.”

She sighed. One more screw-up on her end, wasn’t it? She couldn’t save Lillian all those years ago, and now here she was acting just like their mother… It was pathetic, and a little sad.

“Lillian, I didn’t mean it that way. I’m just stressed beyond belief. Gladion likes going off to championships a lot too, and I end up doing his work as well. He thinks I don’t know and that Miss Wicke is doing it, but it’s all me.”

It occurred to her that she herself had never given Lillian so much as a thank you for the few things she did do. The mental toll it must have taken on her to just swallow her pride and go to dinners with her once in a while, or the advice she gave her. Lillian knew her stuff, and Lillith knew the big reason as to why Lillian had very little to do with her anymore. Knowing that , and also knowing that she partially drove Lillian out of her life felt like a swift kick in the gut.

“Forget I said anything. I just wish you’d trust me like I’ve tried to trust you. You’ve helped me out plenty, and I’m sorry I never thanked you. What you do end up doing helps, so thank you for that.”

“Just keep doing what you do best, I guess. Shut me out again if you want. I just wish you’d talk to me, damn it.”

    “I hurt you more than I helped you. You don’t have to coddle me. I know,” Her voice sounded flat and devoid of emotion, but it’s very clear the Lillith’s words had hurt to some degree. Maybe this is what it felt like-- all those times she lashed out at her sister and refusing to understand. 

   Except Lillian knows Lillith understands-- more than anyone--and that only made her feel even worse about herself. Was there any part of her that was actually good or was she always just... this way? She just was a burden and troublesome to the people around her.

   Just like Lusamine had said.

  “I don’t...” Lillian murmured so gently. The words seemed to catch in her throat as if some invisible force was holding them back. It takes all her might to just spit one small admission of weakness out, “I.... don’t know how to talk to people. I thought I did, but I don’t.”

  “You always seem to be able to do everything I can’t. You can play the violin,  you can dance a waltz, you were always better at school, and.... you can talk to people, and you can forgive. I.... I’m not like that, Lillith. It takes everything in me to just not blow up at people the minute things don’t go my way,” She had to hold back a soft sob, “I haven’t forgiven Mom or Dad--- and I don’t even know if I’ve really forgiven Gladion.”

   She felt so small and weak in that moment, and she hated it. She never wanted to feel so powerless ever again, “But it’s not anyone’s fault-- what happened, right? Dad disappeared, Gladion was trying to save Silvally, and Mom was... Mom was just sick, right? So then... why can’t I just let it go? All I see when I come home is bad memories, but if nobody is at fault and I can’t blame them... then that means there’s something wrong with me, isn’t there?”

[novae-sol]

iciumnebulae‌:

Lillith slammed her hand on the table.

“Damn it Lillian, why are you so keen on ditching Gladion and I? You think I wanted this responsibility? I could be off exploring the world or completing my own ambitions, but because of what happened I have to help run this company.”

“But you know what? At least I have ambitions. All you do is laze around at the Pokemon league or you use the company’s money to fund your stupid vacations. What do you even do to contribute? Getting you to come see any of us is more trouble than it’s worth. We don’t even get a thank you for giving you all that money without making you pay us back.”

There’s a long and painful silence that follows.

  “Guess not all of us can be as perfect as you, Lillith,” Her voice is cold. There’s no anger to her tone, it’s simply quiet resignation. She’s not even bothering to look at her twin in this moment. She made a promise to not be mean anymore-- to not cut her family down with words anymore. After all, hadn’t her sharp tongue been the reason why Paul left her?

   She has to take a deep breath to reign in the horrible things she wants to say to Lillith. It wasn’t her fault and it wasn’t Gladion’s fault either. She wasn’t even sure if it was Lusamine’s or Mohn’s fault. Mohn had disappeared, and Lusamine had.... been sick? Lillian wasn’t exactly keen on the idea that they should just suddenly forgive and forget everything that had been done. The more she holds back her anger, the more it seems to turn into self loathing.

Why couldn’t she just forgive like Lillith and Gladion could? Why did this place make her so uncomfortable? Why couldn’t she just get over it?

   “You’re right. I’ve never contributed anything worth while to this family. Why  should I start now?” The words fall out of her like a lead weight. She never wanted to touch this rabbit hole again. She’d promised to be better than that, “I’ll pay you back the money. You don’t have to worry about it anymore. If I’m that troublesome, then just... don’t bother.”

[novae-sol]

veilstonevalor‌:

A smirk was all Paul mustered. She took the bait. It was time to wipe the floor with this girl.

“Go! Standby for battle!”

He threw the Pokeball, choosing the Pokemon that was perhaps the most overkill in this situation. But, fair was fair. If she thought she was so tough, he’d just have to see about that.

With a flash of brilliant red light, Paul’s Pokemon appeared. And his choice was…

“TORRRTERRA!”

“Go ahead,” he mused in a very clearly condescending tone, “You can do the honors.”

   It was in that moment she knew she was royally fucked. However, her pride would keep her from admitting that she was out of her league and totally fucked. There was still a chance she could come out on top, right? After all Torterra were grass type... right? 

                                                                                 Right?!

                 “A...Alright! Litten! Set that tortoise on fire! Ember!”

   The tiny, fire cat seemed less than amused and gave Lillian a side long glare. However, after a moment it darted forward spewing tiny embers from it’s mouth.

[novae-sol]

iciumnebulae‌:

“Lillian, how could you even say that? Even if you and Mother don’t get along, Daddy loved you! He would have wanted us to take over for him. Gladion can’t run it on his own, we need you.”

   “I paid my dues because of Mohn’s disappearance. I don’t owe anything. Unless he magically appears and gifts me a new eye? You know, the one mom damaged after he disappeared because she blamed me for it. Look, if I wasn’t completely sure that you and Gladion were completely capable of running it without me then I would try to be more active. It’s just... We have our strength’s Lillith, and... running Aether and handling all that stuff-- it’s your strength--- and it’s Gladion’s strength too. It’s not mine. Besides, the League keeps me busy enough as is.”

[novae-sol]

iciumnebulae‌:

“You really have. I have to run Aether mostly since Gladion loves going off on his own, and you’re a shut-in. One day I won’t be around and you’ll have to pretend to be me.”

   “I’m not a shut-in. I’m on vacation, and the only way I can be free of trainers wanting to challenge me to a battle is if I lock myself away behind 7 levels of security in Aether. The champion deserves a break too. Also, if I had to choose between being murdered and running this place-- I’d choose the former. Sorry, Lilith. I have no interest in running mom and pop’s little project.”

[novae-sol]

ok things to get done -- a bio -- verses --??

--profit

[nocturneofshadows]

christmas snom