A R C T I C A

pale, ships are books & red wind shattering my spine

[now371]

DIFFICULTIES

I've asked myself this question like a windchill pulse: how easy is the world we live in x because when it's loud you seem nowhere to be found on a map but maps don't show cold ground or truck tires or alley frowns & when there are engines I'm asleep & when it's silent all I hear is my head x I don't know what I prefer the answer to be either these streets spell out the world or you're just another dream

[now371]

LOVE STAINS

I get so obsessive with touch and I wanna touch not you but everything to do with you & that means lighters cross body purse tennis socks picture frame corners that hold these hounds these hearts like the ones I write I hold my pen & remember you & remember how every time our sheets would only cry out ink.

[now371]

There’s somebody out there for me. Contemplating the myth of my knuckles as if I were snow. Looking for pigment in their eyes for any possible caress between one colour family and the other. Visualizing me with the answers buried deep within their own question marks. Waiting to collect my every drop of dew, as if generating poison were a bodily function. Those things exist somewhere. I’ll come to life one day. I promise, you.

[now371]

[now371]

OUR HANDS

you can be an overcast weather kind of you or you can be a sharp moon feather kind of you but every time we glance i feel it grow on me these excruciating- glowing doves this ride on a merry-go-round your mouth that says " lightning bound " but either way we'll be gone & it'll either be this moment or it'll be long.

[now371]

Thanks for sticking around, everyone. Been having a couple mental downs. You're all so patient and beautiful and I'm so grateful none of you have left. xoxo

[now371]

DISRUPTION

There are actually twenty-seven letters in the alphabet & one of them is an x-ray of my jaw x so much more my tongue does so much more among us that are written or proposed but too much of your smiling is threadbare for my clothes & I can't imagine what it's like: a simple scribble on paper & your teeth in my life

[now371]

PULLING

The only thing I can think of right now is please don't go away and the doors are all singing about your textbook barricade and I listen and I don't understand how we're so many equations even though I've got none and you've got enough heart to think " I'm dust and done " X I don't understand how there's love inside but I guess you're the polished bed frame and I'm the tuneless lullaby

[now371]

SHADOW VALUE

I think about you & how much I've missed you & when that's not missing I am a suspension bridge & you are either the drop or the sun & I miss you like butterflies and guns x how I'd give any dirt for you how many lips I've earthed for you

[now371]

ii.

I'm walking home and all I can think about is the way these footsteps are able to lay themselves at once - in more places than one. How, sometimes, the rest of me can dream alongside the times I do. Oh, the life, and all of those surrounding that so quietly intermingle. Unseen, sensibly hiding until meeting something they know that so inimitably defines them. Cautiously appearing and reappearing through these words. Sleeping, waking, and waiting behind these two curtains. The only two that are committed to opening and closing before every moment in time. Regardless... Regardless. Take me home, whisper the parts of me that will always believe. Take me home, so the rest of these breaths can finally breathe..

[now371]

WAITING

For once in my life you have sparked the sight of the quietest balance between my head and a retired prison cell & I feel like you feel these emotions spill out of me like fingers x the desperation for anything " outside " x the desperation for colour & a fight between what's true and what's brand new and the blindness.

[now371]

IDEALLY

I think if I were to ever go anywhere I’d first have to bare the idea that every city is an aquarium x only dream of quiet engines as parts of midnight hymns keep my eyes open all night & make sure the lamp posts glow x I am made of water and for once I actually belong here.

[now371]

PRESENTING

anyone else but me would disagree but I think we would be far better off being in a movie. 'cause when it gets dark you'd be brighter & when the screen won't spark you'd be the light & there's also less room to lose ourselves in but here there aren't any dates & this will last forever & i wish your forever lasting thoughts were anything but fake.

[now371]

Dance me..

[now371]

i.

Your bones are young rocks the world uses as new possibilities. Your head is made of delicate wood divided into shapes of stars. In some places, there is light chalk admiring the comfort you provide. It is where I sometimes wish my toys were. I still remember that Christmas a few years ago, where we went for a walk and you reminded me of a white pony. Just because you are colour-blind doesn’t mean colour doesn’t exist. You stand like a lighthouse, your body a clearer sea. I hope one day you guide me home.

[observando]

[now371]

DISEASE

Amphetamine. I hope you know your souls are not inside me & your wounds are always deep but who am I to tell you I'm here to make friends? My heart is a paradise & my head's still clean but someday you'll steal this light from my dreams.