You Can (Not) Lose

https://nowicantlose.com

[nowicantlose]

Unnumbered #402 Triple Threat

[inbabylontheywept]

i am banned from eating my herring inside. they make me eat it on the smoking area by the loading dock, under the theory that it already smells bad there. but it was raining today which was preventing my breakfast, so i was feeling sad and hungry and then i realized that there was a large cardboard box in the dumpster from a previous delivery. like a fridge sized box. so i fished it out of the dumpster, then tipped it on its side and had a nice little cardboard cave to watch the rain and eat my fish in. which was a great experience. very soothing. very zen. at least until the security guard from the day before stepped outside to smoke. then i tried hiding from him by crawling deeper in the box, which unfortunately did not work. instead he saw a sort of damp sniveling pale hairless creature eating fish in a box, and delivered the verbal killshot of "good morning, mr. smeagol." which is how my day was ruined before 8 am.

[nowicantlose]

[oneheadtoanother]

[oneheadtoanother]

The number of people responding to this post claiming to be bodhisattvas is hilarious. If you'd resolved your karma you wouldn't be on tumblr.

[averyterrible]

A warlord asked his teacher, a great monk, what he would do in his next lifetime.

“Oh,” he said, “I think I will spend a few lifetimes on Tumblr, most likely.”

The warlord was astonished. “Your merit and virtue are renowned far and wide!” he responded. “Why on earth would you be condemned to Tumblr?”

“If I did not post on Tumblr,” his teacher responded, “who would be your mutual?”

[beanytuesday]

New Superhero Team I Invented

[nowicantlose]

Happy Black Friday! My Book is on Sale!!!

Manor of Death: To Be Decided (A Choice-Based, Narrative Adventure) [Jack Scully] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Manor

[kryptonightmare]

Based on this scene from Metal Gear Solid Featuring Sonetto, Vertin, and Horrorpedia from Reverse:1999

[jasper-rolls]

[jasper-rolls]

[nowicantlose]

Inktober 2025 Days 1-6

[nowicantlose]

Unnumbered #377 Mystery Biker

[nowicantlose]

A lot of people don't know this about me, but I wrote a book. It's a "choice based narrative adventure" which is a fancy way of saying I don't want to be sued by the choose-your-own-adventure people.

It's called "Manor of Death: To Be Decided," and it's up for sale on Gumroad.

Manor of Death: To Be Decided

In the Ptolomea Manor the house… hunts you!You find yourself trapped in an otherworldly manor, where every choice you make brings you closer

There is also a digital version you can find on itch.io

Manor of Death: To Be Decided by nowicantlose

A gamebook where you, the reader, transverse a haunted mansion.

[kryptonightmare]

Unnumbered #370 The Inkblot

[nowicantlose]

Based on one of my own comics. Featuring Matilda, Willow, and Tuesday from Reverse:1999

[somafalls]

reblogs got turned off but this deserves preservation

[funny-tik-toks]

[wafflebloggies]

I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO UNMUTE,

[iveofficiallygonemad]

Captions:

Gaston: "Everyone knows her father's a lunatic. He was in there tonight, raving-"

Fast placed music plays as the scene changes.

Gaston: "Whoa! Slow down Maurice."

[brellom]

desert eagle