One of my co-workers always mangles common figures of speech.
“They’re just flying like rats off the boat.”
“Something’s not quite right in Denmark.”
“I think I’ve exhausted all revenues.”
“This is like stickin’ one of those needles in a haystack!”
“She’s the kind of person who’d give you the shit off her back.”
Okay, different co-worker this time. I was in the office late and he asked if I was “burning the midnight owl.”
Okay back to the usual co-worker for a wistful: “Oh I love the French Prince of Bel Air.”
“Peyton Manning? That guy’s as clean as toast.”
“That’s just one more oil in the ointment.”
“She’s stuck between a hard rock and a place to put that rock.”
New variant of that last one: “She’s stuck between a hard rock and a place to poop.”
“It’s another chick in the armor.”
“she did it real quick, like biff bam whang, thank you ma'am“
“I was so angry at her, I was all over her like a, like a wet noodle… with.. with… with french toast on it.”
(usually we just let these things slide and I stifle a laugh but this time everyone in the office was like “WHAT EVEN?”)
“Five minutes? You want me to wait FIVE MINUTES? I could have a baby in five minutes!”
“my cuppeth’s run over, over here!”
“she knows about it, but I don’t know about it. the kettle doesn’t know who’s… generating the heat.”
I just learned that this former coworker of mine passed away on Sunday. RIP to Andrea "Bam" Adamo
