an open letter to minors who want to be a part of the BDSM community.
Lengthy title, I know but I have some stuff to say.
Please don’t take this as condescending - I’m not trying to belittle you. This is much a letter to my younger self, as it is a letter to you.
I was introduced to bdsm by an older man, at 12 years old. On this lovely site. The was quite a long time ago, and lemme tell you what I’ve learnt.
Any man, dominant, or daddy who approaches you, doesn’t want to be your friend. Men, Women, anyone, who approaches a child (because yes, you’re a child. I was a child) and tries to encourage them to be kinky, to embrace their submissive/little side, is trying to manipulate you. They want to gain control over you, and not in the right way.
Engaging in d/s relationships before exploring love and relationships and sex in the regular, vanilla world, first, will change the way you see love and relationships and sex - more often than not, for the worst.
Their manipulation techniques will stick with you subconsciously.
The likelihood of you being hurt, mentally or even physically is high, especially if you’re like 16 or younger. You might feel like the strongest, most mature person in the world but you’re not, you’re still learning. In a few years time, you’ll understand that better. We’re all still learning. You can get hurt far easier in these relationships, than you will in vanilla ones, at your age.
Pedophiles hide under tags and labels like cg/l, Daddy, dom, etc, looking for underage girls and boys.
Minors openly or even secretly being part of the bdsm community, especially the cg/l dynamic, seriously harm the overall reputation of our community and make it hard to be listened to, understood and taken seriously.
I’ve seen sub and little blogs where people have openly said that they are 13, 14, 15 years old. That’s terrifying. Everyone on this site talking about underage subs and littles, outing them on block lists etc, isn’t doing it because we don’t want you to be here. We’re doing it because we care, worry and fear for you. Especially if, like me, you’ve had really bad experiences in the past.
Not going into detail. But I have been groomed by two men who claimed to be part of this community. Both knew my real age. Both encouraged me to embrace my submissive/little side. Both said “age is just a number! You’re old enough to know what you want!” Both hurt me. Both left deep mental scars that I am still healing from.
And yes, there was one good dom in all of that, but he was still a 22 year old man, approaching at 15 year old girl, so how good could he have been?
I understand that you might have stumbled across this and decided that yes, that description of a sub/little/pet/dom/etc totally fits me! But you have so much to learn before you explore this side of life and relationships. And most bdsm blogs on here post hard core porn and that shit isn’t good for young minds; it changes what sex is and means.
So instead of joining this community whilst you’re still in high school, heres some things you should do instead, some things I wish desperately I had done instead:
Have bad, awkward dates with the crush in your class
Enjoy bad first kisses, better second ones and great third ones
Teach yourself about your body without kink. Where do you like to be touched, how do you like to be touched, what feels good, what feels bad? Explore and learn about yourself physically
Mentally too! What are you interested in? Buy a book about it, read it, study it, learn outside of school
Focus on school omg I wish I had spent more time worrying about my grades and less about breaking rules when I was 16
Enjoy vanilla relationships, learn what love is, learn what it means to trust someone, have your heart broken, cry, heal, move on.
Enjoy vanilla sex, learn what you like and don’t like with a partner! Have awkward fumblings, make mistakes, giggle, laugh, learn. (If you’re at the age of consent in your area!)
Just be. Enjoy the age you’re at. Don’t rush to grow up. Just be.
I’m sorry if this offended anyone but some things need to be said and I’m just sharing my own experiences with some advice mixed in.
Educate, don’t retaliate ✌🏾
If anyone wants to talk, has questions, or needs help getting out of a bad situation, feel free to message me💖
prguitarman
germansingergirl
discoholicmusic
2087
jimmyeatworldofficial
