smut. boyfriend anton. sneaky sex (exhibitionism), unprotected sex (p in v), he pulls out lmao, slight breastplay, mutual masturbation, aftercare
oh just send me to hell at this point. not proofread! 2.5k+ words
after your friends announced the room and bed assignments to the whole group, everyone immediately changed into their swimming outfits and headed for the beach.
anton, on the other hand, was still hunting for his swim cap. you waited patiently for him on the bed assigned to the two of you: a double-sized mattress tucked into the far corner of the room next to the bathroom.
“i thought your trunks would match my set?” you pointed out as he slathered sunscreen onto his legs.
“i forgot, baby. i’m sorry.” you only nodded in response. once you saw he was finally ready to head out, you bolted from the room first, growing impatient since everyone else was already out having fun.
you missed the sight of anton shaking the bed frame, testing it to see if it would make a noise.
when you were a short distance away, you heard his hurried footsteps jogging toward you. he caught up and instantly hooked an arm around your waist.
“you’re so hot,” he whispered, pulling you flush against his side.
“if i see someone wearing the same color as your trunks, i’m giving you away,” you joked, pulling away from his grasp to walk ahead.
he let out a playful whine. “that’s not fair.”
“okay! i’m going to ride the jetski alone,” you teased.
he pouted, giving you his best fake sulky face. “you’re mean. although i was planning to do something on the jetski.”
“huh?” you were taken aback.
what could he possibly mean by do something?
once you reached the shore, you climbed onto the driver's seat of the jetski, revving the engine and laughing with the rest as everyone was figuring out how to control the ride.
anton settled behind you, his hands gripping your waist tightly as you sped off into the open water.
once you were far enough from the shore that the group looked like tiny specks, you felt his hands wander.
one hand stayed firm on your hip while the other began to slip beneath the hem of your bikini top, his fingers tracing the curve of your skin with a bold familiarity. the sudden heat of his touch against the cold ocean air made your heart skip.
“anton, stop it,” you yelled over the roar of the engine, though you couldn't help the small smile tugging at your lips.
not content with just a wandering hand, anton leaned forward, his plump lips grazing the sensitive skin of your shoulder.
he then reached down further to tease you, his fingers hooking into the elastics of your bottoms and instantly finding your heat down there.
the way you were bouncing over the waves made your breath hitch, not helping your current situation.
“we’re going to drown here!” you yelled again, nearly causing you to jerk the handles.
you felt his chest vibrate against your back as he laughed, his lips pressing a fleeting kiss to your shoulder before he reluctantly pulled his hand away and gripped your waist properly again. “you forgot i know how to swim.”
“and you forgot we’re in public!” you remarked, slightly leaning your head back so he can hear you.
“but no one’s gonna see.” you ignored what anton had just said, forcing you to hide a smile again.
after a heavy dinner that spiraled into a night of drinking, everyone eventually stumbled back to their rooms and drifted off to sleep.
however, your boyfriend seemed to have different plans.
“should i eat you out first?” anton hissed, pausing to look up at you from where he was.
right on your boobs.
when you looked down at him, it was the exact moment his lips attached again to your hardened nipple. his free hand was busy massaging the unoccupied one, kneading it with a possessive grip.
then, he pressed his thumb firmly against the nub of the breast he was massaging, while teasingly grazing the other with his teeth.
anton earned a soft, broken moan from you, and you instinctively fisted your hands in his hair.
as he began to provide alternating, wet licks to each bud, you found yourself pushing his face closer against your chest, desperate for more.
it was sensory overload. you were squirming so much that your legs wouldn't stay still, despite anton’s weight pinning you down.
the duvet didn’t rustle much, but if anyone were to glance over right now, it would be painfully obvious that a body was draped over yours, even in the shadows of the room.
anton continued to swirl his tongue around the sensitive tips, his breath hot and ragged against your damp skin. he buried his face between your breasts to muffle a low, guttural groan.
eventually, he slid under the duvet beside you, pulling you into his side so your head rested in the crook of his shoulder.
“don’t move too much,” he whispered. the two of you were already so close, but there was a desperate need to be closer, fueled by the fear of making too much noise.
“anton. there’s other people in the room,” you hissed back, suppressing a sudden gasp by pressing your hand over your mouth.
“they’re all blacked out, i promise.” he pulled you flush against him, his hands already working at the waistband of your shorts.
you sighed before shifting in one swift motion to face him. “we should’ve gone with your jetski idea instead,” you breathed against his lips.
you felt his lips curve into a smirk. “jetski or not, you know we were always going to end up like this.” you adjusted the duvet over the both of you, feeling hyper-conscious of every rustle of fabric.
your hands slid underneath his shirt, tracing the planes of his torso as you brought your lips to his. determined to catch him off guard, you pinched his nipple, hoping to coax a sound out of him.
anton couldn’t suppress the whimper that broke through the kiss. you quickly shushed him by continuing to lap at his soft, plush lips to keep him quiet.
his fingers were already pushing inside you. he didn't even attempt to start slow or tease you first; he just surged in. “hah. i was right about you being wet already.”
as he felt your reaction, his lips pulled away from yours to roam along your jawline, trailing down to the sensitive skin of your neck.
the duvet was making far too much noise given the supposed secrecy of the moment. you stopped him before he could go any further. “next time, i’m insisting on a solo room,” you murmured.
he gave a pathetic yet frantic nod, immediately returning to the crook of your neck.
before he could lose himself again, you pulled his face back to look at you. “anton, i’m serious. they’ll kill us tomorrow if they find out.”
“i don’t care. just stay quiet.” you let out a silent groan. at this rate, your heart was going to burst long before you reached an orgasm.
“it’s more fun when there’s a thrill, baby,” anton murmured, continuing to mark your sensitive spots while you bit your lip to stifle a moan. “we’ll be fast.”
this was completely shameless.
yielding to the friction, you reached down to find the hardened length of him. you massaged him through the fabric first, earning that low, hitched breath you loved, before pushing his shorts down just enough to grip him. his tip was already slick, so you spread the moisture and began a steady, rhythmic motion.
it was a struggle to give him a proper handjob, given the cramped space and how tightly your bodies were pinned together, but the risk only seemed to make him harder.
he didn't waste a second, his fingers picking up a rhythmic, messy pace inside you that had you arching your back off the mattress. his other free hand pulled you closer, even more, so you can steady your body and not make any extra noise with the duvet.
the pace of your hand going up and down on his length matched his. every wet thrust was punctuated by the faint, rhythmic sound of skin hitting skin.
you buried your face in the crook of his neck to muffle your ragged breathing, feeling the friction of his knuckles against your sensitive skin.
he leaned in close, his hot breath ghosting over your ear as he picked up the speed, his thumb finding your clit and pinning it down with a pressure that made your toes curl under the duvet.
"babe. need to fuck you now," he urged in a gravelly whisper, his movements becoming more urgent as he felt you begin to tremble against his hand.
you managed to respond despite the continuous low gasps overflowing from your mouth. “how t-the hell?”
before eventually stopping the movements your hands were doing on his length, you squeezed his tip. he hissed at the sudden gesture, and started lapping at your lips roughly.
“turn around, we’ll make less sound.” you rolled your eyes at his crazy suggestion.
you shifted as quietly as possible, but the duvet still rustled like thunder.
definitely not a good idea. still, you like it.
you had no choice but to just swallow the huge lump on your throat.
anton hooked a leg over yours to pull you into a tight, sideways spoon. you could feel the intense thud of his heart matching your own.
"stay just like that," he breathed, his hand reaching around to grip your hip. “try not to make any noise, okay?”
"i'm gonna put it in." he guided himself in with one smooth, agonizingly slow push, the sensation of him filling you sideways making your breath hitch in your throat.
you reached back blindly, your fingers digging into his thigh as he began to move, his rhythmic thrusts shallow and controlled to keep the bed from creaking.
every time he bottomed out, he pressed a stifled, hungry kiss to your shoulder blade, his low grunts muffled against your skin. you can only bite your lip to stifle any moans.
with every shallow thrust, he tilted his hips just enough to hit a specific spot.
it was agonizingly good. anton’s grip on your hip tightened, his fingers bruising your skin as he picked up the pace, seemingly not caring about the sound of the duvet rustling too much.
“fuck, you're so tight," anton hissed into your skin, sending shivers down your spine. you can’t help but let out a grin to what he had just told you.
you buried your face deep into the pillow that you grabbed next to you, the fabric damp from your breath as you fought the urge to ruin the silence.
“harder.” you moaned out. then, his movements become more desperate and less controlled.
anton leaned down even more, his teeth grazing the sensitive part of your nape as he struggled to keep his own composure.
your heart hammered so hard against your ribs. the bed gave a tiny creak, and the both of you froze instantly.
but anton didn’t stop with his persistent movements, his thrusts are deeper now, more insistent.
you attempted to peek to check if someone from the other side of the room stirred.
“we’re good,” anton let out a shaky, hot breath against your ear.
the sound of his skin slapping wetly against yours was a rhythmic and dangerous chorus filling the room’s quiet atmosphere. it was not that loud but you can only internally offer a prayer that the others were truly as deep in their sleep.
his thrusts became shorter and more desperate, resulting in a soft moan slipping off your mouth.
“ssshh…” he rested his free thumb on your lips. your hands went feral, not knowing where to place or grip it; your toes curling against the mattress.
“you’re doing good, baby.”
anton seemed to sense you were close. you felt the familiar coil of tension tightening in your stomach, so he reached down with his thumb to find your clit, applying a grounding pressure that sent you over the edge.
this put your brain to a short circuit as his actions followed by him barely pulling out now, and opting for deep, grinding hitches that forced you to bite down hard on your lips.
overstimulation has gotten into you. “close-” your body was already shaking, your hands grabbing his nape from the back as you attempted to bring his face close so you could kiss him messily.
anton’s quads were locked tight against your legs and his hand on your hip was practically pinning you down intensely.
“we’re not doing this again, anton lee.” you squirmed while he bottomed out again.
he let out a sharp, jagged inhale through his teeth, followed by an evident smirk you felt through his breath.
then, you felt that his entire frame shuddered with the effort of keeping a low groan only heard in the tiny proximity you were keeping.
with a heavy lunge, anton buried himself deep inside you and stayed, his entire body locking up as he’s almost reaching his limit.
anton’s grip on your hips finally slackened, leaving a muffled and guttural groan right on the skin of your shoulder. he then immediately replaced it with a soft peck.
slowly, he withdrew, pulling out at the last possible second. you didn’t even have the chance to fight the soft whimper from the sudden feeling of his absence.
anton adjusted your hips while you felt your body finally relaxing as you let out your release. neither of you moved, and you can hear the loud synchronized thud of your hearts.
both bodies tensed against each other and you were exchanging ragged exhales with him in the dark.
with a quiet urgency, anton gripped himself and directed his release away from the sheets. you could hear the faint, wet sound of him moving frantically to chase his high and finish.
“fuck.” his voice barely breathed. “i love you, baby.” blurting out those words as if he was launched to cloud nine.
your eyes were still closed, tired from the sneaky situation. “tissues in my bag beside you.” your hazy mind was still able to form some words.
you felt his heavy figure slumped back against the mattress with his chest rising and falling in jagged heaves that turned into a sudden low groan.
anton crawled back toward you as he tucked his face into your neck, "worth the risk," he whispered. you scoffed in return as you felt his soft lips on your skin.
he pulled you closer and draped a heavy, protective arm over your waist.
“hell no,” your chest was still heaving. “i think i prefer the jetski idea now.”
anton pressed a sleepy kiss to the top of your head, his fingers tracing mindless circles on your arm. "let’s clean up, baby. " he murmured against your hair, his voice thick with exhaustion. “bathroom’s just to our right, so…”
you let out a long, shaky sigh of pure contentment as you fix your clothes. “you okay?” anton helped you up, enough to not cause the bed to groan.
once the door clicked shut, you immediately pulled him in for a quick hug. he rested his chin on the top of your head while you feel the warmth of his embrace. your legs swaying slightly from fatigue.
“careful,” anton whispered as he guided you. “here,” his voice lost its rasp and returned to its usual gentle tone.
anton gave you a quick kiss on the forehead as he started carefully cleaning you.
you mumbled, “we are not sharing a room with anyone next time.”
he let out a small chuckle. “you didn’t like the thrill?”
“that’s your fantasy?” you lightly smacked his arm while he was busy helping you.
“we’re really doing this, huh?” you whisper, lips inches away from his ear.
he bites his lip, hands clutching the sides of your waist tightly.
you slow down, teasing as if to pull out. this is instantly felt by the guy you’re on top of.
the first whimper leaves his lips.
you continue riding him at your usual pace, his thrusts meeting yours in a perfect rhythm.
anton starts whimpering, his eyes squeezed shut.
when he pauses for a moment to let you take control, you tease him by threatening to pull away, inching your body off his tip.
whines leave his mouth again; you can feel him start to tremble under you. “fuck, fuck, fuck, don't do that,” anton whimpers.
“hmm?” you smirk, rubbing his shoulder sensually. you start sucking on the sensitive spot behind his ear, making sure he feels the smirk against his skin.
anton looks so ruined and desperate even with his eyes closed, his grip on your waist remaining steady.
you face him, watching his reaction as you continue to ride him.
anton whines at the top of his lungs. in response, you decide to take full advantage of your position on top of him.
you slow down again.
incoherent whimpers spill from anton’s mouth while his hands hover, lost and unsure of where to touch you.
“what’s wrong, tony?” you continue to drag out the pace. you trace your fingers along his jawline, his gaze finally snapping from your eyes to your lips.
a continuous string of whimpers fills the room.
anton looks completely undone, his skin flushed and his chest heaving as he struggles to catch his breath, caught between the overwhelming pleasure and the frustration of your teasing.
“hmm?” you plant a soft peck on his lips, his expression still frantic when you pull away.
when you see his lips part as if to speak, you bottom out again and suddenly pick up the pace.
you speed up.
the loudest whimper yet finally breaks from him. you look down at him; his face is a deep crimson, and he’s trying to hide a breathless smile.
one of his hands finds your shoulder blade while the other tangles into your hair.
“embarrassed much?” you tease, tilting his chin up with your thumb to admire his flustered face.
“aww, can’t say anything?”
when he opens his mouth to respond, a low syllable starts to form, but another whimper wins out.
he’s so flustered that he pulls your face down to his, hiding his own in the crook of your neck. you giggle as he begins to leave marks on your skin.
anton’s breath is hot against your skin, his whimpers turning into shallow, desperate gasps.
his thrusts take over as he holds your waist steady, stopping you from bouncing so he can set the pace himself.
“you’re so pretty when you’re like this, tony,” you murmur, leaning down to press a lingering kiss to his lips. you thread your fingers through his damp hair and tilt his head back so he has to look at you again.
anton finally finds his voice. “you’re so mean…” he whispers, his voice completely wrecked.
anton looks completely spent, speeding up his pace, while both of you are trembling violently already.
you gasp a sharp, choked-off sound now that he’s back in control, and his movements are desperate and heavy.
suggestive. sexual tension. making out. no smut everyone will be edged :P
2759 words. not proofread + texts are plain haha 😭still, hope you enjoy 😁 lmk your thoughts :);)
today's dance practice already felt off.
you were late, dragging your feet from the exhausting shift you pulled last night, and it was a double kill when your coach decided to actually be a coach today. first thirty minutes of training was him pulling you aside for a lecture on the importance of respecting everyone's time.
you hadn't found a single second to review the steps everyone was asked to practice beforehand. because of that, you were constantly a beat behind, and it was visibly painful to watch your own reflection looking so lost and clumsy in the mirrors.
and of course, we have to mention how anton looked so extra hot today.
anton. the member you have a stupid crush on.
he’s a long-time member of the dance troupe, friends with everyone, and undeniably attractive. you only joined a a few months ago, so you’re still part of the rookie lineup, adjusting to the rhythm of the group and trying to get closer to the older members.
that includes anton, who is notoriously intimidating and usually only sticks to his inner circle.
he’s friendly, sure, but he isn't the type to start a conversation; you’d have to approach him with something actually interesting for him to give you the time of day.
some of your co-dancers know about your silly crush, but they don’t even bother teasing you. they’ve long since established that everyone in the group has a crush on him at least once before they eventually give up. they call it a 'canon event.'
even anton is aware of it, and he has been verbal about his strict personal rule about never dating anyone within the troupe.
but it’s been months, and you’re still stuck on him.
you already had a bad start to your day, and he was unconsciously making it worse just by existing in your peripheral vision.
a ten-minute break was finally called. after you spent a few minutes frantically refining your footwork, coach called anton’s group up to run their choreography.
while you and your friend slumped down in the front, leaning against the cool glass of the mirrors to watch.
you couldn't stop staring. of course, that’s given for how attracted you are to him. he was wearing a thin black parka and a snapback pulled low, a combination that felt like a personal attack on your sanity.
you were basically ogling him at this point, which didn't help your reputation as the'annoying rookie who kept messing up the counts earlier.
the most frustrating part of being in the same room as anton is that he knows exactly how attractive he is.
he’s aware of his effect to other people.
or maybe to you only.
as they finished the choreo, some of the boys started messing around, comparing their muscles in the mirror. it was a ridiculous sight since half of them didn't even have visible gains and were just doing it for the bit.
as you and the other girls were laughing at their antics, anton slid into the fun. he lined up with the others, eyes catching his own reflection, and casually bunched his shirt up in his fist to show off his torso.
anton with toned, six-pack abs.
he had a smug, knowing look on his face as he let the fabric drop, laughing along with the boys who were snickering and clapping him on the back.
you froze. you forgot to breathe for a solid minute, convinced that if you died right now, the final seven minutes of your brain activity would just be a replay of that specific action he just did in front of you.
fuck. fuck. fuck. you just know the consequence of this would be so embarrassing.
practice started again, but you were completely gone. arms and feet aren’t even coordinating at all. it’s as if your locomotor skills just left your body for a whole hour.
you kept catching his eye in the mirror instead of focusing on your own hands, and it got so bad that coach finally snapped.
“go jog three laps, all the way to the 20th floor,” coach barked.
you had to admit, you needed the time out.
you needed to get away from the immediate proximity of anton, who was starting to look less like a crush and more like a distraction you couldn't afford.
you slipped into the fire exit and sighed. the studio was on the 15th floor, so five flights of stairs felt like a fair price to pay for a mental reboot. but as you started to jog, your mind went straight back to the way he moved during the set.
and also back to the antics he made at the mirror.
but shit, he danced with a kind of effortless, heavy control despite his tall figure.
anton’s movements were sharp but fluid, the beats were just following him. you could still see the way the light caught the sweat on his neck, and the way his parka shifted with every shoulder movement he did.
he was in his element, looking both casual and completely disciplined.
it was impossible to look away from him. really.
on your final lap, your lungs were already crying for help and your legs felt completely wobbly. coach probably wouldn't know you were sitting on the stairs just to catch your breath.
you were panting so hard you had to stare at the wall in front of you, eyes involuntarily closing as you tried to keep up with your own breathing.
then, a creak echoed from the heavy fire exit door.
anton, already changed into a black tank top and looking fresh without a single drop of sweat, gave you the impression that training had ended early. you just looked at him, having zero clue what brought him to the fire exit.
“is coach looking for me?” you stood up where you were, your back an inch from the wall.
anton stopped in front of you, leaning against the railing beside him. unexpectedly, he tossed a cold bottle toward you, which your reflexes caught quickly. his gaze remained fixed on you, a question mark already forming in your head.
he stepped closer, his presence making your legs feel extra wobbly.
fuck. he looks so good up close.
you tried to look away as he gently snatched the water bottle back from your hands to crack the seal. his biceps were visibly sculpted under the dim light of the cramped stairwell. you were staring at his arms, and he definitely noticed.
“you seem distracted,” he started. you looked up at him; he was looking down at you, hands relaxing at his sides.
you cleared your throat. “something’s just been on my mind lately.”
“hmm? tell me about it.” he relaxed his stance, looking away for a second before returning his focus to you. this time, he looked at you intensely, as if you’d done something to him.
you had to improvise. “you know, work. i had a bad shift yesterday. that’s all.”
his musky, woody scent was so apparent that your brain started wondering what expensive cologne he was wearing. you just wanted to pull him by his tank top and breathe him in.
“you seem distracted,” anton replied with a smirk.
you were already nervous, a cold shiver running through you despite the heat.
what the hell was happening? the fire exit felt so heavy with tension that the air was starting to get stiflingly hot.
suddenly, he released a chuckle that made the tension high and the atmosphere too thick.
“why are you even here?” you murmured in response, attempting to look back at him just as intensely.
instead, anton leaned in until your shoulders were pressed firmly against the brick wall, one of his hands coming up to rest right beside your head, effectively trapping you.
you tried so hard not to follow his movements so you can take a glance at his very obvious biceps.
holy shit. your lungs were going to collapse.
his voice dropped an octave. “is that why you couldn't keep your eyes off me? because you were thinking about work?”
you tried not to give an obvious reaction to what he just said, swallowing the lump in your throat.
he backed off for a bit, looked at the wall, and gave a fake nod. “okay, okay.”
his eyes never left yours. you fanned yourself with your hands, given how hot it was getting in the fire exit. all of a sudden, he deliberately pressed the cold, damp bottle against the side of your neck.
you gasped at the sudden shock of cold, your pulse thumping hard against the plastic.
“it’s hot, right?” he whispered, his smirk widening as he watched your reaction.
at that moment, your brain rewired. two could play this game, anton.
you just stared at his lips. anton noticed the shift in your gaze and stopped smirking. he raised an eyebrow at your sudden, composed expression.
he leaned down, his lips hovering just inches from your ear. “should i do something about it?”
once again, your eyes met his.
“you’re so confident,” you remarked as the air grew even stiller. your mind replaying again the antics he did earlier at the studio.
he was facing you again, his face still inches away from yours. both of you were watching each other’s features closely, ready to acknowledge the tension between you.
you moved your gaze from his eyes down to his lips, your hand voluntarily tilting his chin up with your thumb.
with your sudden, bold movement, anton couldn’t help but let out a surprised, puppy-like grin. he was turning pink, too.
you furrowed your brows in confusion.
you watched him as his grin faded into the kind of stare that made you want to just melt into the ground.
then, you fixed your posture, appearing as confident as he was. “tell me you want it too,” you whispered.
his other hand slowly snaked to your waist, eyes never leaving yours. the contact made you freeze in an instant.
“definitely,” he asserted. “more than you’d ever know.”
then do something, fuck. you wanted to voice that out loud.
you pushed him back with one hand, landing right on his chest.
instead of pulling away, he gently grabbed your hand with his own, pressing it harder against his heartbeat so you could feel how fast he was going, too.
“is that enough proof?” anton smirked, finally letting go of your hand.
his other hand never left your waist. worse, it started to stroke your side in a slow, agonizing motion.
every interaction in this god-forsaken fire exit felt like a ticking bomb.
the forgotten water bottle was already sweating against your fingers, the cold condensation making you even more aware of the heat radiating between you.
you finally found your voice and murmured, “are we gonna keep having a staring contest?”
“do something, anton,” you said firmly.
the challenge made him drop the smirk instantly, realizing you weren’t backing down.
shit. holy shit. your lungs were going to burst.
he leaned in until your noses were brushing, testing to see who would break first. just inches away from your lips, a new smirk formed on his.
he moved his hand from your waist to the back of your neck, his thumb tracing your jawline with a heavy, deliberate pressure.
i hope i’m dreaming, you thought. no. for fuck’s sake, this is real. anton kept his nose brushed against yours, his breath hitching as he murmured, “you asked for this, baby.”
in a heartbeat, the next thing you heard was the loud echo of the water bottle hitting the concrete floor. the second the bottle hit, anton didn’t give you another second to breathe before he devoured your mouth.
you took over instantly, your tongue tracing his bottom lip before deepening the kiss. his hand snaked back to your waist to pull you forward while his body slammed into yours, pinning you against the wall.
the kiss was messy and desperate, a testament to too much pent-up frustration and intensity.
you pulled him even closer by his tank top, then both of your hands roamed to his arms, feeling the hard curve of his muscles. the shock of your touch made him lose his composure completely.
you pulled away suddenly, breathless, as you felt just how large and flexed his biceps were.
anton whined at the sudden loss of contact.
you slowly rubbed the muscle, realizing he really had a sleeper build underneath the clothes he wore. “what kind of workout are you even doing?”
“it's just naturally big,” anton whispered, before catching your lips again. his hands were everywhere now.
the kiss continued, deeper and more deliberate, until the sound of muffled voices in the hallway made you freeze.
anton didn't stop. instead, he pressed his body fully onto yours and kissed you harder, his thumb pressing into your jaw to keep you focused only on him. the closer the contact, the harder you felt him down there. your effect on anton was very apparent already.
still, the risk of getting caught had finally gotten to you. you couldn't help the small whimper that escaped, a sound he caught and swallowed whole, making him growl into the kiss.
his grip on your waist tightened while your hands remained fixed on his sculpted arms.
you knew you wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about this, especially the way his tongue was currently claiming yours.
at this point, you were going to be a total nuisance at the next training session because you wouldn’t have a clue how to act around him. it was so bad.
“i need you,” his voice sounded completely wrecked.
anton seemed to be replaying everything that had led to this moment. so, he guided one of your hands under the hem of his tank top. you flinched as you felt his abs, tight and ridged under your palm.
suddenly, you pressed your hands against his stomach and shoved him, making both of you stumble back. it was hard not to close the gap again, not when the sight of him panting was right in front of you, his chest heaving as he stared you down.
everything about this moment was dizzying.
anton, on the other hand, looked like he was fighting every urge to just lunge forward and pull you back.
this fire exit was a terrible place for whatever this was. or whatever could be.
you walked past him to get some space and catch your breath. you were both a mess. hair ruffled, lips swollen, and skin glistening with a mix of sweat and heat.
faced with the sudden weight of reality, you looked down at the floor. “i have a crush on you, anton. i don't know if it was obvious already... but whatever just happened, we can forget about it if you didn’t like it.”
he sat down on the stairs, catching his breath as if he wasn't a trained dancer.
“how can i forget about that when i’m already thinking about how we’re gonna go back to that studio? it’s empty now. everyone already went home,” he admitted, his voice still rough.
anton slowly stood up, his movements forced you to look up at him as he neared you.
“i didn’t know how to act around you either, so i always played it cool. i acted like you weren't even there because i get so stiff and awkward when you’re close.”
you let out a breathy, nervous laugh, “shut up.” you refused to believe his confession.
anton responded, “i’m not joking.” a faint flush creeping up his neck that had nothing to do with the heat of the stairwell.
“sure,” you briefly returned, finally looking at him. he’s the one to walk past you this time, heading to the door.
your heart seemed to stop for a second when your eyes instantly noticed something on anton’s lower body.
“you say you’re stiff around me but you’re still hard right now.”
anton groaned, hiding his face in his hands for a second before turning his head back to you as he held the heavy door open.
you continued to tease him. “is it naturally big as well?”
anton can only respond by whining and asking you to stop. you skipped towards him while chuckling.
as the heavy door closed behind you, he looked up at you with a predatory grin.
slight angst but lots of slowburn. anton yearnermaxxing. mutual pining since the beginning. warning: suggestive near the end. DRYHUMPING only dw :P reader kisses his tattoo.
5830 words. this was drafted as a listicle/headcanons, but i got away again so its all narrated like that... mian TOT/ hehe some parts were inspired by the first frost 😁 enjoy 💕
anton, the moment he grew fond of you, swore to himself that he would work harder than destiny. than the universe. than the whims of any god.
that man has been helplessly in love with you since day one. no one can change his mind.
anton is the most patient man to ever walk this earth.
he patiently waits for you when classes are finally over. you pace slower than him when walking together.
when you asked him to teach you some bass basics, and you were struggling, you never heard him hiss or groan in annoyance. it was new to you because you were used to hearing people complain when you were asking for nothing more than help.
anton is the gentlest soul. he was your classmate in high school, the quiet boy who was into music and sports. often carrying his cello and training bag, he would sometimes intentionally bump his things against your desk every morning just so you would notice him and greet him "good morning."
eventually, you became friends and bonded through silly conversations, trips to convenience stores, or random weekend study "dates."
by senior year, it was safe to say he was a close friend who obviously liked you. he wasn't even subtle, yet he remained remarkably nonchalant about it. (he didn't confess, but his actions were telling.)
anton never made you feel pressured to return his feelings. still, both of you stuck together like constant companions.
he was simply charming back then. he always accompanied you to the bus stop, a ten-minute walk from school.
being in love with you meant becoming a total loser for you. imagine him riding the bus, pretending to get off at a stop after yours just so he could linger with you a bit longer. in truth, he didn't even need transportation...he lived within walking distance of the school.
he noticed that you sometimes skipped lunch (to save money or sleep). so, he’d bring far too much food to share with you. he reasoned it as "bulking" for training whenever you asked why his meals were so proportionately large.
anton was always ecstatic whenever you asked him about music. whether it was an inquiry about instruments or what songs were trending, he’d geek out, genuinely pleased that you were interested in his world.
thus, he created a playlist of all his recommendations and shared it only with you. even his friends weren't allowed to listen to it; you were the only one with the link.
besides, he had a folder full of draft compositions, all inspired by you.
one time you mentioned liking a certain drink from the store, and the next thing you knew, it was a consistent sight on your desk every other day.
anton never stares directly at you for too long because he’s afraid his eyes will give him away.
instead, he became a master at watching you out of the corner of his eye. anton memorized the way you tie your hair or the specific sound your shoes make in the hallway.
but he's also incredibly attentive when you speak in class or tell him something you've discovered. you would become self-conscious because he would never break eye contact while you spoke.
anton swore he loved the idea of memorizing your features, yet he mastered the skill of grasping every word you yapped about despite being drowned in the beauty right in front of him.
often, he would look away instantly when he felt his nose burning with a pink flush.
you had to admit that your first love was memorable because it was anton.
...and you for anton.
as you grew older, it was a slow realization that you were just like anton—reserved and quiet. you shared so many interests and opinions, but the contrast was that you were too scared of love.
he was full of it, deserving and willing to give it all.
maybe he didn't deserve you. or rather, any part of your life that felt insecure when you let him in. his upbringing felt worlds apart from yours.
so, as romantic as it seemed, when anton confessed to you while the rain was pouring, you respectfully rejected him and bid him a final goodbye.
your world crushed as you saw his eyes, and how his expression showed he was trying so hard not to beg for answers.
"tell me you don't want me to leave, and i won't." it was hard to hear him, his soft voice clashing with the heavy rain. even if you tell him you don't want him to go, he is still fated to leave for his dreams.
of course, you didn't want anton to leave. he's the only person who sees through you, who genuinely cares for you, and totally understands you.
he was the only person you had.
but then again, your worlds were apart.
anton saw how you looked at him as if he were a stranger. you were the first to break eye contact, running away from him that night.
he stayed frozen there, standing in the middle of the park, drenched. all he could think about was you. he spent another thirty minutes alone in the rain, just in case you changed your mind and ran back.
when anton moved overseas to pursue his dream, you accepted the fact that your shared chapter had ended.
even though the only way you knew how to move forward with life was with him.
during college, you decided to distance yourself from everyone and start a new life. part of that meant leaving someone behind who wasn't there anymore.
anton, on the other side of the world, never stopped thinking about you. he tried asking your mutual friends how you were, but no information ever came back to him.
on your birthday, anton flew recklessly back home (without his parents' knowledge) just to gamble on the chance of seeing you after a year apart.
every year, he typed a "happy birthday" to your old number. he would stare at the blinking cursor, never moving past the drafted text.
anton usually celebrated your birthday in total silence, perhaps just by buying your favorite snack and eating it alone.
he wanted to respect your peace. he knew you so well. you had many reasons to be distant and alter your life, and he wished he could help you lessen the burden. so, showing up suddenly didn't feel right.
but a plane has already brought him back home.
instead, he waited at a cafe near your university, hidden in a hoodie and mask.
he had no idea whether you would even walk by or go to that cafe.
finally, after three hours of hoping and inhaling iced americanos, the bell chimed. there you were—the person he loved so much, despite the painful silence between you.
you had changed, and it was physically visible. he couldn't pinpoint if it was for better or worse, but he wouldn't dare bother you.
you ordered an iced latte and the cheapest cake the cafe had. for a student on a budget, it was enough.
anton devised a simple plan: buy a whole cake of your favorite flavor, ask the server to hand it to you with some made-up excuse, and hurry back to the airport.
you were surprised that day by a "lucky birthday promo." you went back to your dorm happily with a box of strawberry shortcake you had been eyeing for weeks.
the universe had finally favored you. from then on, you promised yourself you'd be a frequent customer there until you graduate.
little did you know...
all thanks to the guy who flew back overseas that night, uncaring of the consequences. at least he knew you were well.
you stopped listening to his playlists. you didn't want to be reminded. but the moment you found out he was still consistently adding new songs, you found yourself saving them again.
anton never stopped adding music to that old playlist he exclusively shared with you. he wasn't sure if you were listening, but the chances were never zero. for years, he added songs he wanted you to hear—songs that resonated with his longing.
it was still you. it was always you for anton.
for his junior recital, titled "Saudade," anton performed pieces by his assigned composer. he also finally completed the drafts he started in high school—the ones you saw only in the hidden music room. the ones you gave suggestions for, despite knowing nothing about the musical notes. the ones you teased him about dedicating to you.
on a random day, you decided to check how he was doing. you jumped from site to site, glad to see him thriving.
you stumbled upon his soundcloud. a three-minute song titled "saudade" was there. you tried to stay composed until you heard a familiar giggle fading softly after the bridge.
anton had sampled your giggle from that silly high school video of the two of you doing dinosaur impressions.
oh.
anton remembers you more than he ever truly knew you.
guess who flew back just to stop by your university on graduation day?
anton was also graduating in two days. he thought, time zones be damned.
he didn't ask if outsiders were allowed. he just roamed outside the venue until the ceremony ended. he spotted you from afar, taking photos with friends.
he wanted to give you flowers, but he didn't know how. so, he settled for the contentment of seeing you happy.
he wore a white long-sleeve shirt that fit his figure perfectly. he blended into the crowd, though people whispered about how handsome he was as they passed.
coincidentally, you saw a familiar face in the sea of robes. your gut told you it was him, but by the time you pushed through the crowd, he was gone.
maybe you were daydreaming.
you swore it was anton. but there was no way he’d fly back just for this. he probably forgot about you already.
anton focused on his career during those years, becoming successful immediately after graduating. he thought that if he ever ran into you again, he wanted to be "worthy" of standing beside you.
months later, when a friend invited you to a reunion at a new family restaurant, you never expected anton to be there.
and god. locking eyes with anton again—it was a struggle to convince yourself that this was reality.
you were mesmerized by how well he had aged. he looked intimidating, secure, and grown.
there was no way a man like this was still single.
there was no way anton would ever care about you like he used to.
when you finally crossed paths, anton’s reserved nature acted as a shield for the fact that he was actually shaking inside. his teenage self was screaming internally. it brought him back to the memory of you looking so dangerously pretty during the senior ball.
you had a way of making him feel incredibly uneasy, almost as if a million butterflies were fluttering in his stomach whenever you were around.
he was more nervous than he’d been at any recital.
anton wanted to see if you remembered him. you didn't react when he arrived at the table. it was awkward; you were sitting right across from him. people started to ask why you weren't close anymore.
"anton, here's the menu," you spoke quietly, handing it to him. the unexpected exchange went completely unnoticed by the rest of the table, oblivious to the tension building in the air.
as he looked across the room, he felt as if time had come to a standstill in that fleeting moment. everyone's chatter faded into a distant murmur, replaced by the pounding of his heart in his ears.
it was as if the world outside had dissolved, leaving only him and the source of his sudden, eager focus, enveloping him in a bead of heightened awareness.
when the group laughed at a story, anton still had the habit of not looking at the one telling the story. instead, he looked at you.
he just wanted to see if you were laughing, or if you felt left out. your reaction was the only one that mattered.
to lighten the mood after the heavy meals everyone had shared, a game started at the table. it was simple: there were random icebreaker questions on cards that anyone could answer freely. although it was somewhat boring, it helped spark conversations and allowed everyone to catch up.
yuha shuffled a card and read it aloud: “when was the last time you traveled alone?” everyone groaned, collectively agreeing that the card was boring. you didn’t have an answer, so you silently agreed with them.
as you picked a new card, anton coldly spoke up. “2023. 2026.” you looked up at him, and he was already sipping his drink.
“aigooo, no need to brag, nyc boy,” one of your classmates next to him cooed.
the years he mentioned were significant to you, so you watched him intently, wondering where someone as busy as him traveled alone during those times.
anton took another sip of his drink before glancing at you, as you were already conversing with yuha.
2023. your birthday.
2026. your graduation day.
later, he volunteered to drive friends home, and you were assigned to his car along with two classmates.
you discovered that he was residing in your building, sharing an apartment with your best friend's brother. they were living together temporarily while he searched for a place of his own, creating an unexpected connection just down the hall.
a true coincidence. destiny had favored him this time.
"unlucky" for you, you had to sit in the passenger seat.
anton was quick to notice you shivering and adjusted the temperature without a word.
when he overheard you were sick, he dropped a bag of supplies at your door. he texted, "i had extras, thought you might need them," even though the receipt showed he bought them five minutes prior.
"it's been five years. i'm sure he has moved on," you told your best friend.
moved on?
anton is immovable when it comes to you.
even now, he drinks the tea you liked and reads the niche authors you mentioned once in passing.
in the years apart, anton found ways to keep you in his life without you being there.
it wasn't obsession; it was just that those things were the only physical tethers he had left.
with his gentle nature, his yearning was physically painful to witness—if only you could see it. he was constantly fighting the urge to reach out.
once, he was already in the elevator when the doors reopened to find you aggressively pressing the buttons, panting. you hurried inside, desperate for the doors to close.
you leaned heavily against the cool, glass wall, your heart racing as the weight of your emotions felt almost tangible as you tried to gather yourself.
when you finally lifted your gaze, there stood anton beside you, his presence steady and reassuring in the midst of your turmoil.
you fixed your posture and sniffed, looking at him with the same eyes that had cried in the rain years ago.
the air felt tight. anton was so surprised that he couldn't find the words to ask what happened.
in a millisecond, you found yourself buried in his chest, arms latched around his back as if anchoring yourself to him. a wave of emotion surged through you, and soft sobs escaped your lips, muffled against the fabric of his shirt.
the world around you faded as you lost yourself in the comfort of his embrace, finding solace in the rhythm of his heartbeat echoing against you.
anton wanted to hug you back so badly it hurt, but he was terrified of overstepping. he let you clutch his shirt, his hands clenched at his sides, fighting the urge to hold you.
anton used to be the calmest person to hold you.
the elevator doors slid open with a soft ding, jarring you from your thoughts and pulling you back to the present moment.
“i’m so sorry,” you stammered, your breath still quickened by the adrenaline. “a drunk man was... chasing me. i got so scared.”
with a deep, apologetic bow, you rushed out of the elevator, eager to put distance between yourself and the unsettling encounter.
you enjoyed reconnecting during hangouts at anton and sungchan's place with your best friend, yuha, and you occasionally bumped into him around the building, sharing small talk.
yuha, the typical best friend that she is, always insists you come to his brother's place so you can see anton.
after one busy week, you finally decided to go for a grocery run. you normally went with sungchan, but out of courtesy, you had to ask anton as well.
"oh. sungchan decided to just sleep and let me come with you," he awkwardly hissed.
when in fact, he actually pushed sungchan before leaving their unit.
the idea of shopping together felt casual yet friendly, an opportunity to bond over shared experiences as neighbors.
while strolling the aisles, your shoulders brushed as you reached for the same item. he went completely still. he didn't pull away. for a loser like him, he savored that half-second of contact like it was oxygen.
you tried to hide a smile when your hands grazed while grabbing a pastry. "hey. look, it's your favorite," he remarked.
he still had the same effect on you.
and he still had the same foolish heart for you.
just as anton memorized your features, he could recognize the sound of your heart the moment you entered a room.
when he spotted you talking to the same mean relative who had mistreated you since high school, he saw the tension in your jaw and the way your eyes lost their spark.
he approached the apartment security with firmness, requesting their assistance in drawing away the intruders from the premises.
after a tense wait at his car, he felt a wave of relief wash over him when the security personnel finally took matters into their hands.
you were so thankful and pleased to hear the admin's mention of the possibility of blacklisting your relative, ensuring they wouldn’t trouble you on the premises again.
anton doesn't just like you—he studies you well.
he leaves for work at the same time as you, so you often meet in the lobby. through those shared encounters, anton was content with the simple "good mornings" you exchanged.
eventually, he found the courage to ask if you needed a ride.
anton was a liar. he would drive thirty minutes out of his way just to spend more time with you in the quiet of his car, where the world felt small, and it was just the two of you and the hum of the engine.
still a loser in love. you never knew he was lying about his workplace location.
shared rides became a space for catching up, until the atmosphere no longer felt thick or uncomfortable.
anton is usually composed, but after a few drinks at a classmate's engagement dinner, his walls thinned.
he was honest.
anton leaned his head back, eyes half-closed, watching you across the table with a look of such raw longing it made your breath hitch. he whispered, "i miss you," and then immediately looked away, blushing.
that didn't exactly help you sleep that night.
just like several years ago, anton became a constant in your life again.
he had a hectic day on your birthday, but rushed to your unit an hour before the day ended. luckily, you were awake.
you were surprised to see him holding the same cake brand you received "for free" back in college.
you both stood there for a moment, the air thick with unspoken words and lingering tension. a soft smile crept across your face, slowly thawing the uneasiness between you. "i... i wanted to give you this," he said, breathless, his eyes flickering with a mix of excitement and worry.
you felt a rush of warmth as you stepped aside, inviting him into your space.
soon, you found yourself cozily settled on the couch next to him, the lights spread around a warm glow in the room. anton began to sing the softest version of "happy birthday," his voice still a gentle caress that wrapped around you like a comforting blanket.
as you swayed the cake back and forth, the flickering candle casting playful shadows on your face, a sense of bliss surged through you.
with a deep breath, you closed your eyes to make a wish, then you blew out the candle in one breath.
anton, captivated by the scene unfolding before him. the view in front of him felt surreal.
all the waiting, all the years. it was clear that you were truly worth every single moment.
"what did you wish for?" anton asked as he sliced a piece for you.
"hmm. it's a secret."
he handed you the plate and smiled. "how can i make that wish happen if you won't tell me?"
one evening after his jog, he saw you with someone else in the lobby.
you were grinning, holding a box of chicken tenders from that guy (who held the elevator open for two minutes, uncaring of the sensor).
anton became incredibly polite, but his eyes went cold.
it was funny; you realized you knew him too well. the way he gripped his phone and how his voice dropped an octave.
"not the best chicken tenders," he broke the silence. you looked at him, amused. "very, very overcooked."
"too salty. if you got the yangnyeom flavor, it tastes like shi—"
you laughed. "actually, these are for sungchan. he asked me to pick them up for him. you can take them home."
right. wait, what? sungchan? my roommate? anton thought. stupid jealousy.
you handed him the bag. he was embarrassed, but his nonchalant facade held up.
before stepping off at your floor, you chuckled. "jealous over a delivery guy? tsk." the doors closed on his flustered face.
anton will mention tiny details—a specific keychain or a song you hummed once. you realized he was always paying attention, even when he seemed indifferent.
anton resigned himself to the idea that you might not choose him, so he settled for being the person you can always fall back on.
just like the old days. he remembered using family connections to get you scholarships, helping you confront your deadbeat parents, or gathering sign-ups for your part-time job. he even secretly paid classmates to buy the baked goods you sold. he even had revenge on those guys from the other class who made fun of you once.
even now, you don't know the half of his hidden efforts.
anton was the only person who truly treated you well.
once, you mentioned your laptop was dying, and you panicked over work files.
days later, he brought a giant box to your door. "you can use this for now. it's my extra."
before you could refuse: "it's not brand new." (it was.) "i didn't buy it." (he did.) you accepted it out of necessity, promising to pay him back.
"no need. use it however you want."
he can provide for you more than just the problems that need fixing, more than the convenience you wanted. definitely, he will provide for you however he wishes.
you also had a fair share of moments that you 'yearned' for him.
you find out through sungchan that anton also goes to your building's gym. therefore, that motivated you to become a 'gym person'.
suddenly, you're there every morning at 6:00 am or every saturday night at 9:00 pm.
you definitely had no idea how to use the specific machines near you.
"sungchan's the one who invited me," you boasted to anton, who was only wearing a tank top with his snapback backwards. damn it.
"i don't see a sungchan here every time i come, yet you’re here," anton smirked, almost walking past you. he paused and added, "sungchan trains on a different day. you might want to check on that."
one time, in all this pretentiousness, you were "cooling down" on a mat, but really, you’re just watching him do pull-ups in the mirror.
you started to admire the way the view of his broad shoulders and arms move when suddenly, his eyes met yours through the mirror.
instead of looking away, he holds the gaze while doing one more slow, effortless rep.
you were so flustered that you had to break eye contact right away and move somewhere you can't see him. when did he even get so hot?
sungchan had invited you over for a group dinner, excited to host after yuha had unexpectedly dropped by their place earlier that day.
to the siblings’ surprise, anton dedicated three hours to deep-cleaning the apartment.
once he finished tidying up, he rushed to take a shower, but not before he was left with the crucial part of picking the perfect outfit and perfume.
"anton, come out of the bathroom when i say, uhm… just a heads-up, the floor isn’t dry yet. i had to mop it again!" sungchan called out with a lie.
"okay!" anton’s cheerfully replied, unaware of the scheme that sungchan had. he invited you earlier than the actual dinner time, eager for a little fun at both of you and anton’s expense.
"you can come out now!" sungchan announced, barely able to contain his excitement.
when you stepped into the apartment, you were greeted by the sight of a shirtless anton, clad only in his denim shorts, who had just come out of the bathroom.
water droplets glistened on his skin, and he looked momentarily startled at your sudden appearance.
“i’m sorry! i wasn’t looking!” you covered your eyes in an instant. the shirtless guy was already tomato red.
“yes, you were~” sungchan sung while moving across the kitchen. his laughter threatened to erupt as he watched the scene unfold, a devious grin spreading across his face with the scenario he had orchestrated.
one quiet night, you stopped in your tracks while walking back from the convenience store. "why are you so nice to me?"
this stirred something in him. he finally found the courage to tuck a stray hair behind your ear. his fingertips trembled—as if his existence was a ticking bomb.
anton felt defeated by the sudden question. he looked at his shoes, then back into your eyes with an intense, careful gaze. "i've longed for you for all the years i had you, and all the years i could only remember you. i'm clinging to the hope that you'd eventually look at me and see someone you could love."
he sighed. "guess i was so nice to you."
anton doesn't look away anymore. he looks at you with a heavy, grounded stare, full of yearning that he no longer tries to mask.
as you looked back at him, you realized your own feelings had never truly faded. you were certain this time: you were finally ready to let him in.
the following night, a heavy, hesitant knock sounds at your door.
it was anton, he’s leaning against the doorframe, looking exhausted. the memory of his confession from the previous night never stopped replaying in your head. it's worse now that he's actually in front of you.
his crisp black button-down with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows didn't help your current state.
"i left my keys on the kitchen when i rushed this morning. sungchan is out. sooooo, can i stay here for a bit?"
your pulse thrumming in your ears. "sure, chanyo- anton. come in."
the atmosphere in your apartment shifts instantly. "i'll get you a blanket." you said, in attempt of escaping his presence.
"let's talk about last night." he walks toward you, stopping just inches away.
you try to back away, but you almost hit the wall next to you.
he places a hand on either side of you, effectively trapping you in his personal space. "please?" he pleaded.
anton was so close to your level. you can feel your chest ripping out any moment, you avoid his gaze as you can feel his eyes memorizing your face.
"i don't have anything to say to you," you murmured. in response, anton’s jaw tenses.
he looks down at your lips, "you sure?" you looked away and nodded.
you gazed at him once more, a wave of longing washing over you. anton leaned in closer, his warm breath grazing your skin as his nose delicately brushed against yours.
he felt a shiver run through him, every nerve ending alive with anticipation and desire. "you're a loser, anton." you murmured while his lips were just inches away from yours.
"i know." he says, a faint smirk appearing before he finally loses his composure. your thoughts surrendered to the following actions you made.
you don't say a word. you just reach up and clutch his sleeves. when you finally kissed him, it started gentle and innocent, a reminder of how your love started.
finally, he was able to relax his clenched fists at your side. he pulls back just an inch, looks at you, and kisses you again with ferocity. you pulled him closer as the kiss started getting desperate.
just moments after, you were both back on the couch. his hands, which usually stay strictly at his sides to avoid 'overstepping', are suddenly everywhere.
anton tilted your head back to deepen the angle of the kiss. he backs toward the couch, and you follow down instantly to straddle his lap. "now i understand why you didn't want to talk." anton mutters against your jaw, his breath hitching. you can feel his smirk form.
you lean down to kiss the sensitive hollow near his temple that smells like his perfume that you like. you pull away as you notice something. "you have a tattoo here?"
he pecks your lips before responding, "mhm." he fixed a strand of your hair and pulled your face down softly again for a longer, passionate kiss.
a low, jagged moan vibrates in his throat when you wrap your arms around his neck. you decided to move your lips again somewhere.
you softly sucked on the same spot again, teasing him.
anton quietly whimpered.
he actually did whimper.
"stop," he hissed. you were barely holding your grin from the response you got. "i swear."
just a mess for each other. years of pining and yearning had led to this moment.
you pulled away to breathe. he instantly helped you adjust your weight on his lap, both hands were on your sides.
"tell me this isn't your first kiss, anton." you bit your smile. you are a hundred percent convinced he kissed other people back in new york.
anton's head found your shoulder, his shyness evident in the way he hid his face to you. "it is." his voice was barely above a whisper.
a skeptical smile spread across your face as you squeezed your eyes shut, unable to fully process the moment. no way.
"so, you're saying that-"
"yes. i waited years for this exact moment. so please, baby, let's continue where we left off." he rubbed the sides of your waist softly, in motions fueled by familiarity and desperation.
you chuckle. it was also your first, but for a guy who's hot and out of anyone's league like him, you still can't believe he waited years for a kiss, as if he was so sure this would happen soon.
every time your hips move against his thighs, anton's breath hitches, and your fingers dig into the muscles of his shoulders.
his hands slide up from your waist, a low growl escapes his throat, coming from a sound of pure, agonizing relief.
anton started to internally suffer the moment he felt you grind your hips down into his in a slow, torturous rhythm. you can feel the hardness of him through his jeans. you smirk during the kiss, as you thought to yourself that he had been holding back far too much. "you're hard."
"kiss my tattoo again and it'll grow bigger." he snickered.
"shut up."
he then started planting desperate kisses on your neck, resulting in him learning your weakest spot. then, he gasps against the sensitive skin of your shoulder, his teeth grazing your collarbone.
this time, you were the one physically trembling now at the contact. you gasp his name, while tossing your head back.
anton's lips were back on yours upon the gasp of his name. the friction beneath both of you became a blur of heat and denim.
he hooks his hands under your thighs, pulling you even tighter and closer on his crotch, ensuring you can feel him. when you grind down on him in the perfectly aligned position, he lets out a jagged breath, "baby, please."
his self-restraint snapped. your shirt bunches up, and his hands slide underneath, his palms hot against your skin as his thumbs start to trace the underside of your chest. you moan at the sudden contact you felt next, and you were sure he smirked in between the ongoing kiss.
the friction was tortorous. your fingers moved to tangle in his hair, pulling his head to keep his mouth on yours.
then, it was time again to breathe. you needed something beyond this. when he finally met your eyes again, you sheepishly buried your face in the crook of his neck, while his breathing came in ragged. "i waited for you," you mumbled.
"i love you. so very much." anton gently tilted your chin up with his finger, his gaze filled with warmth.
"should i say it back now, or should i wait for a more appropriate moment?" you teased playfully, giving his cute, big nose a gentle boop.
"appropriate can wait, i suppose," he replied with a mischievous smile, and in a swift motion, he unbuttoned his shirt.
the man who swore to work harder than destiny has finally won.
when anton moved into his new apartment, the extra room caught your attention. it looked more than just a typical guest room. it was a room that had soft lighting from the window, with a view of the city, and a thought that reminded you of the type of bedroom you once mentioned wanting.
“this place looks like a jackpot for you,” you said.
"you like it here?" anton asked in confidence, making you look at him in confusion. "i mean, yes. it is a jackpot. i think i made the right choice."
more than the plans he had for himself that included you, he also has curated a life that had a permanent, person-shaped hole in it, trusting that eventually, you’d find your way back to fill it.
you definitely liked it there, and anton was certain of that. so, he has yet to figure out how to tell you that it was actually your room in his own place.
finally, spring came.
“happy birthday, chanyoung,” you murmured, the soft glow of the candle illuminating his face, and suddenly his new apartment was enveloped in a tranquil stillness because of this moment.
the dim lights created a cozy atmosphere that wrapped around both of you like a comforting embrace. you watched your boyfriend close his eyes and take his time before blowing out the flame.
"what did you wish for?"
he looked at you for a solid minute. "my wish already came true."
both of you beamed. he finally leaned in to hold you. "i'm not going anywhere this time." he kissed the top of your head. anton made a quiet pledge to himself at that moment that he would continue loving you like it was breathing.
it had been ten years. through high school, college, and adulthood, anton had waited. he didn't just believe in luck or coincidence. he believed more in the stubborn force of his own devotion.
and he would gladly do it all again in the next life, if it meant finding you over and over.
a love that once ended in the quiet passing of autumn had finally bloomed again in the spring.
sfw! uni setting. organic encounter at a bar. cw: drinking/partying. notes: i think i stretched this too much for a oneshot lol. not proofread again bcos i just wanted to post something while tumblr is banned here >_< leave a heart if u enjoy tysm !!! btw fishbowl is an actual fishbowl glass with an alcohol mix on it hehe ❤️🩹 2598 words
after a stressful finals week—the most grueling one yet, according to your entire friend group, everyone decided to blow off steam at this one famous small bar near the university.
however, you don't feel like going as you need to get some sleep. you haven't slept since yesterday, and having powered through a marathon of a final exam and a capstone presentation. you wanted sleep more than anything else.
but everyone was going, and you're already standing in the middle of a sea of dancing bodies in a cramped, box-like bar with flickering red lights.
your friends had already polished off two fishbowls, and despite your exhaustion, you found yourself leaning into the chaos. still, your legs were heavy from standing, and you kept giggling along with the group while occasionally bumping into unfamiliar bodies. you envy the reserved tables at the far corner of this tiny bar.
when a girl was pulled away from a stool next to you by some guy, you didn't hesitate to claim it. "hey, shotaro is inviting us to hop on a different bar." your friend whispered, suggesting also it was the bar nearby. cons: there are more locals than students.
you shook your head, "the set's better here." pouting towards where the dj was. your friend nooded in agreement.
then, you were pulled you out from the stool as the dj started to hype the crowd. she even rushingly told the bartender for a fishbowl again before moving towards where the fun was.
trying to navigate back to the rest of the group, you collided with a solid figure. he moved with a swift, fluid motion to face you. the guy just slightly bowed his head, as seen from your blurry peripheral vision. you squinted your eyes, already tipsy and polite that you also mirrored his apologetic gesture.
after fifteen minutes of solid dancing to the set, your friends rushed back to the counter to reclaim the fishbowl that's almost forgotten.
they cheered as the third bowl of the night was slid across the wood. you claimed the green straw—the one with the little curl at the top. everyone leaned in at once, all your heads were panning down and sipping on the bowl, making you almost choke on the shared drink.
the guy to your left, sitting calmly on a stool and eating a full rice meal. seriously? still, he got the cue. he handed you a stack of tissues from the dispenser near his plate.
your tipsy state looked down on his plate as you accepted the tissues. you knitted your brows, not in judgment, but in pure, unadulterated confusion.
"oh. i'm drinking. i just need to eat first." he said defensively, noticing your stare. he was clearly in the middle of a mouthful, but still sounded composed.
then, you looked up to where the voice came from. is it the alcohol or he looks actually majestic?
his hair was messy, fluffy to be exact, under that quirky cap that says 'LONELY BOY' he was wearing. his shoulders were incredibly broad, filling out his dark long sleeve in a way that made you lose your train of thought. he looked grounded, calm, and—honestly—way too handsome to be tucked away in a corner of a bar.
at least, he looked friendlier than the guys who shared glances with you tonight. you gave him a friendly, slightly dazed smile and turned back to your friends, who were still preoccupied with the maroon liquid in the bowl.
you knew right then you're going to think of him the rest of night.
"what was that?" your friend asked you, eyeing him.
"he's hot," your other friend added bluntly. you just scoffed.
you grabbed your straw again. "ask for his insta then."
"oh. i will. for you." she smirked, nudging you. "i saw how he looked at you until you walked back here."
you rolled your eyes as you take a long sip. "a guy with a face like that is definitely not single."
"did you even see a girl next to him, though?" your friend countered, giving a playful shrug of her shoulder.
you didn't respond anymore, but deep down, you were hoping. he just looked so out of league for a place like this.
anton definitely didn't want to be here.
it was a busy bar on the least places he'd want to be stuck in. he was naturally more of a chill drinker. he'd prefer to sit down in a quieter setting with a cold glass of beer in hand partnered with deep conversations about anything.
but tonight, he was dragged by his teammates and not his close friends. he had no choice and after protesting multiple times, he’d eventually given in.
"inconvenience is the cost of community," one of his teammates joked before shoving anton to the crowd near the dj.
it was during that push into the fray that he felt someone thud against his back. he turned quickly, and found you who looked like floating in a dream state while clinging to your friend.
you were small compared to him, squinting up at him with a dazed expression. he bowed his head instinctively as a silent apology. your tipsy yet polite state mirrored his gesture. as you disappeared back into the crowd, anton found his eyes trailing after you. thanks to his tall figure, he can easily spot you headbobbing with your friends through the red haze.
anton found himself watching you longer than he intended.
he hasn't drunk anything yet, nor did a pre-game in his dorm. still, at places like this, anton was disciplined. when he saw a stool open up at the counter, he moved for it immediately. ordering a rice meal was definitely normal, and he needed it before fueling any kind of alcohol in his system.
anton was halfway through his meal when he felt a presence to his left. it was you again. you were leaning in with a group, all huddled over the bar's infamous fishbowl like it was a drinking fountain. when you started coughing, he automatically just grabbed the tissue dispenser near his plate because you were definitely looking around for it as you fight for your life.
when you grabbed the tissues from his offering hand, he noticed that you were looking at his plate with a comical confusion that he felt the need to explain himself. "oh. i'm drinking. i just need to eat first," he mumbled through a bite of food.
when you finally looked up at him, anton felt a weird skip in his heart. you gave him this small, friendly smile, enough to cause his world to slightly stop from spinning.
he can only watch your back face to your friends once again, his fork hovering mid-air unnoticed.
the night had just started. one of your friends had finally received her grades for a major subject during that exact moment, and in her excitement, she decided to treat the entire group to two rounds of tequila shots.
after throwing those shots back raw, the bar started to feel suffocatingly hot. the tequila hit you like a freight train.
you planted a drunk kiss on your friend’s cheek, murmuring that you were heading outside to breathe. your head was also starting to throb to the consequence of mindlessly taking those shots.
stumbling slightly you head toward the small exit for a breath of air. the outside dining area a contrast to the happenings inside. it was filled with people calmly drinking to avoid the party, some were smoking, and a few waiting at the sidewalk.
that’s when you saw him again. you find the same guy from earlier leaning against the brick wall, cap pulled low. he seems like he's acting so mysterious but also looks like he's finally enjoying the quiet.
you sank down onto the low stairs, dropping your head into your hands. good lord, tomorrow’s hangover is going to be biblical.
as you massage your forehead, you felt a gaze burning into your side, so you looked up. you lock eyes with the same guy.
you weren't sure if you were drunk to the very brim of your existence or if he was actually walking towards you.
he actually sat down next to you. "too much?" he asks, gesturing to the muffled bass thumping through the walls.
you peeked at him through your fingers. "you're too much close to me right now."
he instinctively recoiled himself. "sorry, i- i didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. i noticed you were-"
his stammering was cut off by your sudden chuckle. "it's fine," then you introduced yourself.
"oh. right. okay. hello, i'm anton. from the swimming team." he slowly scratched his nape. you found it adorable that he has a shy, meeping smile.
"you're not enjoying the night, anton?" you started.
"i actually am. just not a fan of this kind of fun today."
you let out a tiny laugh to what he just said. "well, your cap says lonely boy."
"i mean, it is fun," anton countered softly. "but i get overstimulated easily. i just ran out of social battery." you noticed his voice was just naturally soft-spoken, as your 7th sense trying to drown out the noise from the walls to hear him better.
still, you smiled at him, not giving a damn about your headache.
"i don't want to overstep, but you look a little pale. i mean...not that you don't look good! you do but... yeah." anton stammered until he saw you playfully rolling your eyes.
you end up talking for thirty minutes in the cool air, anton would occasionally wave his palms around to clear the air whenever smoke drifted near you. you both reached the conclusion that you actually hated the party scene and only showed up for your friends.
you were almost sober from all the topics and giggles you have shared with anton. then, you excused yourself signaling that you needed to go back inside. anton looked up at you, but then he stood up even quicker than you did, moving instinctively to assist you.
"do you want me to walk you in? it's pretty rowdy by the door," he asked, voiced laced with consent. your friends are definitely going to kill you. or maybe his situationship (if he has one) will kill you.
"only if you're okay with that." you didn't give him any other signs of responses other than letting him, and went inside.
still, anton wanted to check on you and make sure you made it safely to the restroom on the far side of the bar.
when you were finally done, anton was waiting outside the archway to where the restroom leads. "hey. come with me." and gently guided you through the crowd toward the counter, helping you onto the stool like the gentleman you'd figured he was.
anton handed you a glass of water. you drank it while looking at him softly. he was also watching you, but the longer the silence stretched, the more he had to look away, a faint blush creeping up.
he stood beside you, his long arms resting at the counter, as he leaned down a few inches to be closer to your level.
"feeling better?" anton whispered, the quirk of his lips suggesting he was enjoying your company.
anton noticed you mirrored his smile as you nod in response. "the swimming team might be missing their homeboy though."
he shrugged, not knowing what to say. "i think i'm exactly where i'm supposed to be."
you looked at him, his eyes already crinkling. despite the dark red lights smothering the room, you could see how round and brown his eyes were. there was so much warmth in the shared silence, even in the state of being enveloped by all kinds of noise.
for the first time since anton had been dragged out of his dorm, he wasn't looking at his watch to calculate how many hours of sleep he’d get before the 5 am training.
"you're staring too much," you teased, a playful, sleepy tilt to your head. you're not even sure if you were really lucky to be in this state with a man looking like this.
his small, lopsided smile showed up. "i am actually just staring back." and raised his eyebrows.
"done." you rested the empty glass on the counter, prompting anton to finally relax his posture.
anton felt a sudden heat rush to his ears, and he was thankful for the dim lighting. he was already overthinking the end of the night. his teammates were likely looking for him, and your friends were probably wondering where you’d disappeared to as well.
he wasn't usually the type to initiate anything, but something about the way you'd laughed and observed your surroundings made his chest tighten. he wasn't going to let this encounter become just another distant memory.
you began looking around for any sign of your friends, your fingers gripping the edge of the stool for support. his arm brushed yours on the counter, and you suddenly felt a wave of awkwardness, unsure of how to proceed. you knew you'd regret it the moment you walked out that door if you just left things like this.
you felt him shift beside you. "hey," he said, his voice dropping an octave to cut through a sudden surge in the music. "i’m probably going to have to find my team soon."
you swore your heart froze for a second as he paused. "but i'd really like to get to know you more," he continued. "maybe i could hear more about why you hate that one professor? mostly because i have him next semester. a conversation over coffee sounds nice. would that be okay?"
you stared at him for a few seconds before blurting out a chuckle. "you didn't have to say all of that, anton. you could've just asked for my socials. i wouldn't have hesitated."
anton looked visibly relieved. after you both exchanged handles, you finally spotted your friends waving from a distance.
"it was nice meeting you," anton said, helping you steady yourself as you stood up.
"likewise," you responded, looking up at him with a sweet, tired smile. anton could've sworn his knees weakened at the sight of you.
"tell me when you get home later. if you’re still capable of messaging, that is," he added. he clearly didn't want the night to end, but anton really did need to track down his teammates before they left without him.
"oh, i will. i need to send this gentleman a goodnight text before he has a chance to forget about me," you teased.
anton let out a laugh, his eyes crinkling once again. in the hazy red light, he looked perfect. sooooo perfect.
just as you were about to turn away, anton reached up and pulled the quirky cap from his head. before you could protest, he tucked your messy hair behind your ear and placed the cap firmly on your head, tilting the brim down.
"keep it," he said, his voice low and playful. "now you have a reason to see me again."
you adjusted the cap, the scent of his perfume hitting you instantly. "is this your way of marking your territory, lonely boy?"
"maybe," he grinned, stepping back into the crowd.
you couldn't imagine what would have happened if you had actually refused to come tonight. or if you decided to leave the confines of these four walls just to bar-hop. because then, you never would have had the chance of meeting anton.
all i know is we said hello, and your eyes look like coming home
random blurb because he's acts of service final boss. gender-neutral. fluff. no warnings. not proofread :3 still, hope u enjoy! :')🍊 813 words
calloused hands that go wrinkled or badly strained—it's just a normal part of anton's day. he juggles cello practice and swim training, often having to write with tired hands or practice his guitar when he has free time.
as his hands ache from the strings and the pull of the water, you would always take his palms into yours and knead the tension out of his muscles with the same gentleness he offers you.
anton's (one of his) favorite things about you is your eternal love for oranges. so, it has also become his habit to always bring you oranges or fresh tangerines he finds in the market. sometimes, it’s the tiny bundle of kiat-kiats you finish easily in one sitting.
he also likes how clean your peelings are. he likes how focused you are when you peel them instantly, as if you were competing in a rubik’s cube competition.
anton notices. he notices how you always peel for him. he doesn't have to ask or request; your hands just swiftly pass him a peeled piece, sometimes even holding it near his mouth already.
in return, you notice and love the littlest things he does for you. carrying your bag, tying your shoelaces, opening a bottle cap, reminding you of your to do's, remembering your favorite flavors, knowing how you like your coffee, and sooo much more.
some people call it the "orange peel theory." you just call it love. and to you, it's anton.
there's a quiet choreography of care through this shared bond. the way the citrus scent clings to your fingertips, he notices how precisely you peel those tangerines and how you offer them to him before yourself. (though sometimes you do take a bite first, just to inform him if the piece is sweet or sour.)
sometimes anton had to wait patiently like a bird when you’re peeling a particularly stubborn tangerine. you eat the first slice, your face scrunching up in an instant. he immediately knows. if you finally hand a certain slice to him, it’s the sweet one he deserves. he finds it lovingly that you’re trying to save him from the sour ones.
moreover, he can't afford to make his strained hands move to peel a tangerine, let alone have the juice spill on any possible open wounds on his fingers. with his tired hands, he'd rather just skip the fruit entirely.
but he has you. well, double benefit. he also gets his source of vitamin c from his clementine personified, who loves to peel oranges for him as if it's a profession of love.
"i have peelings for you," he joked one time, followed by a giggle because he realized how cheesy it sounded.
"well, well, well. orange you glad we met?" you hit back with the exact same dorkiness. this resulted in him grinning ear-to-ear, until the tips of his ears turned cherry red.
one time when you were eating ramen with him, your hands went into autopilot mode on the boiled egg he ordered; you peeled it clean, leaving not a single crack or damaged spot on the egg white. it’s as if these small acts of service you do naturally for him are done from love and with love.
anton just lets you. he's so fond of you and this gesture. would he peel oranges for you? he'd rather let you do it. it's your way of love and kindness. instead, he'd plant an orange tree for you so you can have fresh fruit all the time and he would squeeze an orange juice every morning. or he'll just pray that there would be a cloudy chance of oranges.
again, would he peel oranges for you? yes. (so, please let him for once)!
there is a quiet trade of softness for sweetness. it's always the acts of service that go both ways with anton. this was about more than your love for oranges... or even how skilled your hands were in contrast to his tired ones.
he thinks that this favorite habit of yours is more than just the kindness he knows about you. loving people do exist, because you exist. you extend and show love to him with no questions asked, even in the simplest way of peeling the fruits you love to share with him.
he's just as attentive as you. his love is precisely sweet. yours is delicately tender. just like a perfect halve of an orange.
you thought, if there's pure love, then it's probably anton.
after a long day, you were met with a mesh of tangerines at your table. there's a piece of paper inside along with eight round oranges waiting to be peeled for the week (or maybe three days max!). in anton lee's very recognizable handwriting, the note says: "i love you. i'm glad you exist."
what's like to be in a non-committal flirtationship with anton?
just a random stream of consciousness at 2am haha enjoyyy 🫨 not an smau! 1379 words
you met anton on a dating app. you weren't looking for anything in particular, and it turns out he was also non-committal. he was just bored during one of his travels and wanted to talk to someone.
maybe it was also time to see what the dating app scene was all about.
well, once you saw his photos and instagram feed, you started to doubt your own "no strings attached" rule— jk! but who knows...
you got along well with anton. you guys would talk about random topics occasionally at first, until a week later, you found yourself holding your phone most of the time and secretly giggling at his messages.
anton was a genuinely nice guy. very outgoing and forward. you could sense he was sincere and you vibed well with him, so there was never a dull moment. for anton, the feeling was mutual. he was interested in you, despite sharing the same sentiment of not wanting to commit. just talking, flirting, and sometimes calling you pet names.
you’re always caught off guard when he drops those stupid pet names. there was no reason for him to do it, but again, stupid flirting setup too.
anton: baby otw home
anton: hru
you: ???
you've never met him and meeting up was never even raised in your conversations. literally, the both of you are just enjoying this online flirting setup, established by two people seemingly allergic to commitment.
anton: i miss you babyyyy
anton: saw a matcha pop-up earlier and thought of you :)
sometimes when you're not in the mood to reply and you're just mindlessly scrolling through reels, his name pops up on the top of your screen immediately. this was a scenario that you're already used to by the third week of your flirtationship. or whatever people call it.
[iloveswimmingsomuch]: yo
[iloveswimmingsomuch]: reply to meeeee
[iloveswimmingsomuch]: baby :(
[iloveswimmingsomuch]: r u ignoring me
[you]: im too lazy to type zzzz
[iloveswimmingsomuch]: ok
[iloveswimmingsomuch]: ill call then
[you]: go aheadd im watching reels im alr sleepy
[iloveswimmingsomuch]: aw man
[iloveswimmingsomuch]: i made a mix
the brainrot content you were watching is interrupted by a sudden ring. you answer, his face lighting up as he hears the sound of your groggy 'hello.'
"babeee, i can't see your pretty face." he looks at the screen, adjusting his lampshade towards the camera so the light might catch your face.
"ouch. i'm sleepy already, but i'd love to listen to your mixes."
most of the time, it's the random updates he sends that make you feel a tiny bit of something. oftentimes, those messages come with a photo of him. you have been honest at yourself, anton was really likeable and a hot guy. unfortunately, for the both of you, no one dares to move forward beyond whatever this is. yet both of you still wants it.
anton: long flight
anton: ill message you in a few hours babee
anton: heyy reply bacj
anton: back***!!!
you: safe skies :p
anton: aw
anton: is it not my time lmao
you: yeah
you: its someone else's schedule tonight
anton: ouch
you: jk nyahahah be safeee !! hope u rest well toni <3
anton: am i allowed to think of you during the flight?
anton: ^~^
you: well yes
you: as you should be.
you: even when you're not in flight
you: you have to think of me all the time
anton: why
anton: do u think of me all the time? :P
you flirt back as well. but in all fairness, he's the clingier and more attention-needy one between the two of you.
anton: BABY
anton: just incase u miss me today 🥸
you: your neck is sooo
you: ill mark them
anton: go ahead
anton: but youre 2 hours away loll
you: so what
you: didnt u know? im a vampire
anton: lmao come bite me then
and you accidentally fell asleep after discussing with him about twilight for an hour.
lately, he’s started this thing where he sends voice messages right before he sleeps. it's never anything important, just the sound of his sheets rustling and his voice sounding deep and raspy from tiredness, murmuring about his day until he eventually drifts off while the recording is still going.
iloveswimmingsomuch sent a voice message [0:20]
("...moment of weakness but i want to see you. goodnight, baby.")
[you]: someone’s bold tonight lol
[iloveswimmingsomuch]: just the facts
[iloveswimmingsomuch]: :)
on a random 3am night, you received not just another piece of his "moment of weakness," but it came with a selfie of him in bed. in bed. yeah.
anton 🦕🐶: can't sleep lol
you were jolted awake by the vibration, but you didn't respond, even though you wanted to. you’ve started to crave his attention more lately, that little hit of dopamine whenever his name pops up. but tonight, the pull of sleep was heavier than the need for the warmth he gives you every time he reaches out. you let the phone slip from your hand, his face being the last thing you saw before drifting off.
sometimes it goes like...
[antinitonny] replied to your story: wat da hek
[antinitonny] replied to your story: you're so beautiful
[antinitonny] replied to your story: 🫨🫨🫨
and when you're bored or just feeling brave enough to return the favor:
[you]: you're so hot
[you]: YUMMMM biceps
[iloveswimmingsomuch]: all for you 🙂↕️
[you]: delete that story before anyone else flirts with u omg?
[iloveswimmingsomuch]: got it 🫡
then there are the nights when he’s had a few too many. the filter he usually keeps and the one that pretends this is all just a game...seemingly starts to slip.
anton 🦕🐶: [0:12 voice message]
(in the audio: "dude i'm literally... i’m staring at our chats. why are you so far away? it’s actually annoying. come here. please?")
anton 🦕🐶: i miss u
anton 🦕🐶: no like. for real.
anton 🦕🐶: don’t laugh at me tmrw lol
you: STFU ARE YOU DRUNK ??????
he was. he called you that night and slurred a lot of things that sounded way beyond the status you have with him.
anton 🦕🐶: HIIIII
anton 🦕🐶: HOW ARE YOU BABYYY
anton 🦕🐶: thinking about u rn :// good thing u messaged haha
anton 🦕🐶: 🙂↕️
you're still non-committal, and you bet he still is. yet diving back into your chat with him after a long day, or the way he’s the first person you want to tell when literally anything happens...it’s starting to feel less like a game and more like coming home.
you: OH MY GOD
anton 🦕🐶: babe did something happen
anton 🦕🐶: helloooo?
you: omg omg omg
you: HOLD ON
anton: WHAT HAPPENED?
you: the tea abt my friends ex im telling u omg waitt
anton 🦕🐶: oh
anton 🦕🐶: i cant wait IM CALLING NOW
or when you need him...
you: thank you for listening :(((( im gonna cry bcos of your choice of words
anton 🦕🐶: i gotchu :) now go to sleep
you: ngl your face was too distracting
you: patrick drooling meme
some days when he thinks someone's 'entering' the scene...
[antinitonny] replied to your story: who’s that lol
[antinitonny] replied to your story: the guy in the beige shirt.
[you]: just a friend! why? u jealous antony? :p
[antinitonny]: nah.
[antinitonny]: 🤯
[you]: you're definitely jealoussss ok got it
[antinitonny]: i’m not.
[antinitonny]: why would i be jealous you're not even mine
[you]: defensive :p
[antinitonny]: i’m not.
[you]: he's just a friend lmfao stop it alr
[antinitonny]: ok
[antinitonny] sent a photo.
he was consistent. for someone who's just flirting with you, he was too consistent and so boyfriend.
it was never supposed to become anything, but at least you and anton are having fun. even with the uncertainty of where this is leading, you’re just glad it’s him on the other side of the screen. that’s all that matters, right? it’s a constant game of seeing who bends or who breaks first, under the weight of a non-committal label that’s starting to feel way too small for whatever this is.
anton 🦕🐶: i l*** you
you: ?
you: 🧐🧐🧐🧐
anton 🦕🐶: ill just say it upfront when we finally see each other
fluff, idol!anton, gender-neutral. idk why i wrote this at 2am so its just ... full of thoughts :3 1348 words
after a hectic pileup of schedules, riize was finally given the break they desperately needed.
anton, your boyfriend, had insisted on flying you and his family out to sapporo. the time off wasn't quite enough for him to fly all the way home to new jersey, so a quick trip to japan it was.
you were standing awkwardly in front of him and his family outside the yakitori restaurant where you’d just finished dinner, terrified that a fan might spot him. while the family chattered away about the food, you lingered beside anton, mindlessly kicking at the snow with your boots. you were all just waiting for the private van to pick you up. hurry before anyone sees the anton lee, damn.
truthfully, you were a hundred percent scared. everyone you were with was easily recognizable, and you, being a private figure, could easily spark rumors that might damage anton’s career. you instinctively distanced yourself whenever you felt eyes on you. your relationship had its own unwritten rules to protect his image, which was completely fine by you.
still, he was chill about it and reassured you constantly. his family was also incredibly kind and protective, especially since you had been close to them since back when you and anton were just friends.
nevertheless, sapporo was safer than most places. there were fewer people here, and the heavy layers of winter clothing helped the whole family remain undercover.
"are you okay?" anton asked, reaching out to fix your scarf. you gave him a pointed anyone-could-see-us look.
you only nodded as the private van pulled up. you sat next to anton in the back, of course.
once inside, anton finally peeled off his gloves and quickly caught your hand. he gave you a faint smile before leaning in to kiss your cheek. "i missed you."
you furrowed your brows in response to his cheekiness and chuckled. "we’ve literally been together the whole day, ton. we woke up next to each other. we skied and ate dinner together."
"can't i still miss you? also hey, i'm allowed to be clingy now. no one can see," he pouted. you playfully pushed his face away, unable to hide your tenth grin—and reddening cheeks—of the day.
when you arrived back at the hotel, he pulled you back before you could head inside. he told his family that the two of you were going to stroll for a while and would be back before midnight.
unsure of his plans, you raised an important question. "do you need help filming for the vlog?" he’d been tasked with filming this trip for youtube content. you usually helped him capture clips, though it was a struggle not to giggle every time he did something dorky or joked around for the camera.
he shook his head. "i mean, we could. but i just want some solo time with you."
you could only nod in agreement. anton caught your hand and started walking until you reached a nearby vending machine.
it was already the third night of the trip, and so far, it hadn't been scandalous at all. you weren't sure if it was pure luck or a calm before the storm, but nothing had happened to anton or his family. yet, you were still overthinking to the max.
the night was quiet, the air felt pure, and the cold atmosphere of sapporo felt safe and comforting. you cherished the silence. moments like this were rare. there wasn't much time in his world that allowed for consecutive days together. it wasn't often you were even in the same time and place.
normally, you were time zones apart. you had both grown used to it—existing behind screens, staying up late to keep up with each other, and learning the rhythm of each other's lives through shared chat bubbles. it was the "normal" of your relationship, alongside the hard truths you had long since accepted. dating him felt like agreeing to a long list of terms and conditions, and you were okay with that.
there were consequences, and you weren't naive to them. but anton made you feel so secure. every moment you shared, especially now that he had dedicated time for you, felt like the perfect reality.
holding hands while walking through the snowy night after a year of facetiming—this was a rare, perfect memory. after this trip, it would be the thought that kept you going until the next one. you knew he would miss this just as much; reality would be waiting for him again in a few days.
he stopped in his tracks and stood in front of you. when he let go of your hand, your thoughts halted. you had been wandering the streets for twenty minutes; the road was empty and the pavement was painted white as the snow continued to pile up.
assuming he wanted photos for the gram, you reached for the phone in your pocket. you angled it to take boyfriend-shot photos of him. he smiled and posed instantly. he even danced to love 119 in an instant.
"you're so silly."
"idol instincts," he joked.
you kept clicking the shutter until he looked straight into the camera. you could feel his gaze through the screen as you watched him.
"i love you," he muttered.
anton giggled at how caught off guard you were.
you stood frozen, as if a pile of snow had just collapsed on you. for a moment, your hands felt colder and you blinked rapidly in confusion.
he smiled wider and walked closer. "i said, i love you." your shock finally transitioned into a smile that he swore warmed him up instantly.
you hit his chest, not knowing how to act. "uhm, i know?" trying to act normal after that gesture.
"that's all? baby, i was trying to be romantic!" you turned away from him, bashfully starting to walk again.
it was such a sweet gesture. he still had such an effect on you, and he always would, regardless of how simple or grand his actions were.
anton laughed as he caught up to your pace, suddenly reaching out to pull you into a warm backhug. he wrapped his long arms around your waist and buried his face in the crook of your neck, his heavy winter coat pressing against your back and forcing you to stop walking.
he leaned his weight onto your shoulders. you nudged him gently, your eyes still scanning the quiet street for any stray witnesses.
you were fine with whatever version of him you were allowed to have. you were content, and no amount of public restrictions or company rules could change the depth of what you felt for him. loving anton meant loving the person behind the stage —the one who got excited over snow and held your hand like it was his warm packs to survive the negative degree weather.
keeping the entirety of all you're allowed to have with anton was a constant struggle, and the fear of "what if" was always there, but it paled in comparison to the quiet peace of his presence.
a transient warmth in the middle of a cold winter night.
as the snow fell silently, you realized this quick trip wasn't just a break from work for him and a time for the both of you, it was a core memory. it was also a brief window where his world you're existing in didn't belong to the cameras or the company, but just to the two of you.
realizing you wouldn't have another moment like this all year, you stayed wrapped in anton's embrace and held his arms.
no matter how many miles or rules stood between you, his heartbeat against your back was the only home and security you truly needed.
"so, are you gonna kiss me or...?" you poked his arm.
he whispered, "i think i'll save that when we get back to our room."
sfw (tho slight suggestive at the end) [kinda wordy i got away lmfao] 1510 words.
- you don't really like the idea of flirting or being in a relationship with a friend from the same circle
- but all of a sudden, someone is changing that narrative. that someone = anton.
- basically, you've been in the same circle since freshman college. the circle has its own ~sub-units~, as to what your friends would like to call them. anton is usually with sohee and the guys yada yada
- it all started at a drinking game during wonbin's birthday
- everyone was asked who's their type in the circle; everyone answered safely and with no malice, some answering none. but alcohol got to you and you just blurted out anton's name in response to the question.
- everyone was silent. the actual guy named anton took a shot and returned your name in response to the question.
- everyone cooed, everyone cheered. but there's a certain shared atmosphere with anton that suddenly became too thick that night.
- after that night, anton suddenly became flirty with you. initially, you just saw it as a normal thing. he's like that—a gentleman and a sweet guy.
- it all officially started when he would randomly message you or send you tiktok and instagram reels. you went from nada to having an ongoing tiktok streak of 35 already. ever since, both of you have established that he will facetime you as both of you study. sometimes, he's practicing a cello piece while you're stressed out with org work, but you never get annoyed
- oh, also, he would always sing to you as he practices with his guitar or piano. that's where you start getting annoyed... because you're definitely falling. lol anyway
- well, you could say your battery has already deteriorated from how you and anton would always go on a sleep call
- sitting next to you in hangouts, scooting closer to you on couches, opening the cap of your bottle, resting his shoulder on yours, quickly dropping to his toes to tie your shoelaces, cleaning your utensils when the circle decides to eat outside, explaining to you (in his soft-spoken voice) what the group was bickering about or what the boys were debating about, and so on
- one time, he insisted on having you on his lap during a car ride where only one person brought a car. so you spent an entire hour stiff and breathless as you were settled on his lap. well, sohee was on wonbin's lap. your other girl friend was also on another girl friend's lap... so being on anton's lap seems normal, right?
- his hands steady your waist, your back pressing to his chest when the car suddenly brakes. anton, on the other hand, swears he could smell you and would slightly pull you closer so you can be comfortable. he asks you from time to time to adjust and assures you not to hold back your weight
- the small moments shared and the subtle actions that make your breath hitch continue every day. you let him, though. you don't say anything. and it's just as bad how these lines are blurred. again, you guys have been friends for a long time...
- it's all about the longevity and comfort you guys shared. LMFAOO you try to convince yourself that way
- but those aspects suddenly blur out when it's only the two of you studying together at the library and throwing flirty punches at each other.
- anton's sentences would often start or end with him referring to you as "pretty," "babe," or worse: "baby." and worst of all, you just let him and don't police that habit...
- when everyone's hanging out at wonbin's house, he would suddenly sneak up behind you and lean on your shoulders. he'd compliment how you look and how he likes your scent. apparently, the anton lee likes giving back hugs... and likes being hugged every night...
- also maintaining eye contact while being across the table or sofas? and he would just smirk when you break the eye contact
- to say the least, even the most boring errands—like grocery shopping, buying stuff you need for school, or waiting in line at the hospital—felt so exciting because anton was your company.
- you'd say everything is normal until it's 12 am, and anton's sleeping soundly with his face on your neck, laying on his side clinging to your waist
- then came the days when he would tease you, or plague your late-night talks with "what if" questions
- "you're lucky you're cute." "if you keep treating me like this, i might fall." "what if i actually took you on a real date?" "what if we actually kissed right now? nah, i'm just playing."
- and telling any of your friends about all of this could be the dealbreaker. so both of you never did. hell, you and anton never even addressed this elephant you're nurturing in your friendship... setup.
- "best friends premium?" you shamelessly muttered to your close girl friends when they caught all those selfies of you and anton in bed, cuddling together. or even those photos when the two of you went for breakfast 'dates.'
- sohee mentioned one time to everyone that anton's wallpaper is a baby photo of someone. "oh anton-ah, you didn't tell us you're talking to someone! who is it?" anton remained quiet but he quickly glanced at you to see your reaction.
- you bit your lip, hiding your smile from everyone who was teasing him. it was your baby photo that he found so cute when you showed him one time. you didn't know that he actually took a photo of it. and made it his wallpaper. like fuckkk WAT DAT MEAN?
- you noticed that anton seems different and acts unusual when you're wearing his clothes
- he's flustered each time :p
- so, you steal some of his clothes and he just lets you...
- you swore you saw him bite his lip one time when you were just wearing his oversized hoodie and your sleep shorts
- the subtle (or not-so-subtle) tension that arises when your previous fling or ex situationship is in the proximity. or when you're suddenly clingy with one of your friends (he doesn't care if it's a girl or a guy... he knows you can bend all genders so all of a sudden he's sulky???)
- "i'm not jealous though," he states.
- "okay. i didn't ask though. wha- anton, can you stop pouting?"
- but he still wins because he's holding your hand as you two walk to your house after the hangout or after your classes. sometimes its his biceps you're holding when the two of you are walking.
- finally, your and anton's tiktok streak says 50. so, 50 days of ridiculousness already of whatever-this-is with anton. you have fallen already. definitely. you feel conflicted at the same time. and you hope he does, too
- the routine you shared was present daily and anton was consistent in either being the flirty friend or stirring your feelings. well, to be fair, he's a romantic guy...
- the flower vase in your room was never empty. when he comes to visit for a movie night or a study night or a sleepover, he's never empty-handed as he enters your door. there's always a bundle of fresh flowers from the supermarket in his hands. if it's a special day, they're from a flower shop :3
- your friends can't do it anymore. they have noticed, they pointed it out, they sometimes pretend not to know or care. but they're just tired of seeing anton and you dilly-dally and call it friendship
- one night, as you and anton were walking to his house from a nearby burger joint sungchan recommended, you felt like it was already time to address it. his hand was warm on your palm, and he's just grinning as he sways it playfully
- you stopped in your tracks. the moment you guys were sharing earlier and the quiet of the night made it feel like it was the right time. "do you think we should date?"
- "definitely."
- "cool."
- "yeah, yeah."
- it felt sweet and innocent even though you guys were quiet and red the whole walk back to his place. you guys weren't teenagers anymore yet you acted like it—
- acting all innocent after that declaration of affection and suddenly you're in his lap, hoodie on the floor, your fingers threading through his hair carefully, and his lips almost engraved in yours
- you pulled away, unable to breathe. he whines.
- "well, i'm sorry i don't have the lungs of a swimmer." you playfully rolled your eyes.
- he scoffs lazily, followed by a smirk. "my bad."
- "remove your shirt, lee."
- anton follows and went for a quick kiss then pulled away out of nowhere. he rasped, "you know what else i could dive into?"
- you and anton both slept very well that night
- the following day, he asked you out properly for a date with all the things you could ask for (yet you never did because he did it all naturally!)