Author's Note:I'm still trying, but I think this is worse than pool party, and I want to say sorry if I can't express what I'm thinking in the right way, but this fic was hard for me because I needed to focus on both feelings, and I don't know if I did it right, and there will be a lot of mistakes because I'm not a native. If you guys have observations or thoughts you can send to me, I'll listen to them.
Warnings: Smut (+18) in the end!! infertility, emotional distress, feelings of worthlessness, brief mention of self-harm adjacent behavior , anxiety/panic attack, angst with a happy ending.
Synopsis: You and Eunseok are married and want to have children, but you discover you can't conceive children because you're infertile. You start to feel useless and think Eunseok just has pity for you, but he truly loves you.
You are a lawyer, and your husband Song Eunseok is a neurosurgeon. Your and his dream was always to have a child, you guys have a solid income and are well stablished, making you fully ready to start a family. You guys are trying, really trying, but still can’t do it.
Eunseok did tons of tests, everything is normal. He's healthy and has high chances of having a child. You did yours, and you guys are there to see the results of your tests, but it never crossed your minds that one of you could be infertile. You guys are just there to see how much time it'd take.
In the doctor's office the AC is freezing. You guys with the fingers interlocked tightly and the doctor with a concerned look say,
"Your tests, ma’am, are ready, and the results are saying your AMH levels are nearly zero.”
You can’t understand a word, but you feel your husband holding your hand tightly. You look at his face, tilting your head in confusion, Eunseok is staring blankly.
“I’m really sorry for you, Ms. and Mr. Song. ” he completes.
You look at Eunseok again, and he is with his eyes full of tears, he looks at you, so you start to not understand.
“Love, what does it mean? I’m never able to have a child, is it?” You ask with your voice trembling.
Eunseok just nods his head, you keep staring at him, waiting for him to say it is a misunderstanding, but the man gets out of the office saying
“I’ll let you guys have your moment.”
You bite your lips then say, “So, I’ll never be able to conceive a child? I’m infertile?” Looking straight at him, he is looking at his lap. Finally he looks at you, and says, “Love, we can adopt a child or just be ourselves together forever. It’s okay, it’ll be okay.” You don’t say anything, just nod. He can see in your eyes you’re heartbroken, so he hugs you tightly. You don’t respond, don’t do anything, just stay there. You’re devastated, feeling useless, extremely sad, and angry with yourself, though you know you shouldn’t be.
In the car you are looking out the window but not looking at anything. Eunseok is really upset too because of the impossible baby, but he’s afraid of your feelings. He holds your hand and kiss it. You look at him for the first time after getting out of the hospital, he gives you a faint smile and says,
“We’re going to my family house so we can recover.”
You just nod and look back at the window. He sees the way you clench your hand tightly and the way you are just holding yourself from breaking.
Arriving at his parents house, you just act like always, smiling at the right time and telling everything to his mom, and he’s holding your hand and patting your head. Your acting is so good that his parents don’t even suspect you are almost dying inside, and Eunseok makes it more visible that something is not right.
It’s late, so you shower and go to bed. You and Eunseok are in his old room, he turns the lights off, kisses your forehead, and says
“Go to sleep, I’ll get some water.”
You try to sleep, but you can’t. Your mind is racing, so you go to the hallway, ready to go downstairs, but you hear a hushed voice, it's Eunseok's voice. You can’t hear what he’s saying, but you hear a cry, a loud cry, it’s his mother yelling.
“Eunseok, how could you marry someone who can’t do the only thing a human being is supposed to?! How are we supposed to stay with the family legacy? Y/n is an amazing person, but you are young. You both are full of life and talent, especially you, Eunseok, you are a renowned neurosurgeon, you can have any woman that you want!" She is rushing her words. You are already crying in silence so no one could hear, then you hear his voice.
“Mom, listen carefully. I want to be with Y/n. If I wanted another person, I would not have married her, and I don’t really care if she can have a child or not. I didn’t marry her because of her uterus, I married her because I love her, so don’t say that again, or I’ll never come back to this house or see your face ever again.” By his tone of voice, you can tell he’s furious. You are with your eyes full of tears, so you just come back to his room, closing the door.
You fall to your knees and cry, withouth making a sound so Eunseok can’t hear you are awake, he’d make a scene, and you’re too afraid to face your mother in law right now. If she said all of that in your face, you would just fall apart. You actually think she is not wrong at all, you’re useless, and you can’t even do what humans are made to. Eunseok is a man full of life, he shouldn’t be married to you but to a beautiful woman who can make the only thing humans are made to.
You wipe your tears. Eunseok is still downstairs, you don’t know what he’s doing, but you start to look around his old room and see his old things, like mangas, posters on the wall, and photos of the teenage version of him. He’s so cute, and you think that you’re just wasting his time and that he’s just defending you because he pities you.
You remember how you guys met, it was in the college. He's 24, and you were 22. He looked cold from afar, and you were a mess but such a cute mess. You guys met at a party of mutual friends. At that time, he was known as the most handsome and hardworking guy on campus. In that party you flirted with him, and you guys kissed and shared telephone numbers. Then you went on a date with him, he was funny just like you (as much as it doesn't look like it, he is), and after that you guys started dating. He always knew you were sensitive, and if you needed to cry, his shoulder would be there for you, but now you don't want pity from him, you just want to kind of disappear and make him happy because you love him, you really do, but you're a nuisance right now.
Your thoughts are cut because you start to hear steps reaching the room, so you go to the bed and pretend you’re sleeping. He enters in the room, sees your eyes closed and your breath calm, so he drops to his knees, kisses you, and touches your cheek.
"Everything will be ok, I won't let anyone piss you off." he says, but he doesn't know that you're not pissed, you just can't keep it together. You really want to open your eyes and jump on him and hug him and cry till you're with a raspy voice, but you just hold it together.
You wake up on his arms, you don't want to leave his embrace, but you leave to take a shower.
Entering the bathroom, you look in the mirror, and all you can see is a failure, you're not the same, but before you can think more bad things, you go to the shower. The water is burning hot, you deserve that, at least that's what you think. You start to rub your skin until it's red and burning, like that would take all your imperfections to the shower drain. Finally, you let the tears go, and you cry like a baby. You want to face your mother in law and say that it is not your fault, you don't choose it, but you're a coward. Your thoughts ceased by a loud knock on the door.
"Y/n, is everything okay?" Is Eunseok at the door, he sounds worried about you.
You take a deep breath because you know your voice is shaky and say
"I'm okay love, don't worry."
You can hear a hum through the door. When you're out of the bathroom in casual clothes to leave his parents house, he can see that you've cried because your eyes are a bit red and puffy, but he does not know you heard his mom talking shit about you, and he does not say that he told her about your infertility.
He approaches you, tucking your hair behind your ear, and murmurs close in your ear.
Making you feel a warm breath against your ear. You just nod in response. He gets your hand, interlocking his fingers with yours to keep you grounded.
Walking down the stairs, you see his mother waiting for you two at the kitchen table. She is looking at you with a fake smile, and you know it because her eyes are full of pity, you give her a small smile. You barely touch your food, you are not hungry, you just think you don't deserve it.
"Darling, is it that bad? You barely ate something." She says her tone looks really believable right now and you answer
"No, it is not it. I'm just-"
"Y/n is not the type who eats a lot in the morning, mom. I thought you already knew it." He cuts you off. He knows it's hard for you, you look at him concerned.
In the car, you look at him and think if he's feeling the same thing as you, if for him is easier or harder, if he's becoming tired of you, or if he pities you. You can't put your thoughts together, so you just turn your head quickly and look out the window. He looks at your face with a small smile and says
"Nothing, I'm just looking at your face. Can't I?" You respond.
He looks at your lap, you are clenching your hands again, and with a tired look he says
"Just don't overwhelm yourself, okay? If anything is wrong, you can tell."
"I'm okay Seokkie, don't worry about me, there's nothing wrong."
He looks back to the road and nods with pursed lips like he doesn't believe you at all.
Arriving at home, Charlie, your dog, is waiting for you two, it licks you both and leans into you.
"Calm down baby." You say while you are on your knees and the dog is crowded into you and you smile, Eunseok gets more relieved.
Charlie is a white, cute poodle with curly fur. Eunseok is the original owner of Charlie because he has had it since you guys were in the college, and now it's living here with you and him, it'd give you happiness for a while, this is what you think.
The past few days you act like nothing have happened, you still go to work like you always did, win lawsuits, make the dinner Eunseok likes, and take care of Charlie, your relationship with your husband is the same too, he still takes care of you, kisses you, takes you on dates, and makes love with you like always.
But you're not the same, as much as you try to act normal, you still think about having a baby with his eyes and your cheeks, you keep thinking if it'd be a boy or a girl, if he or she would look more like you or like him. Every time you have thoughts like this you've heartache and you feel nauseous.
Eunseok pretends he doesn't see it, but he does. He sees the way you're ALWAYS clenching your hands till your fingers turn pale, the way you stare at nothing when you think he's not looking, the way you take hours in the bathroom to take a shower and come back to the room with the skin red and your eyes red, and you always say that's the steam, and the way your eyes look empty not the shining they used to have. He's worried about you, but when he asks something, you always say it's okay, and he keeps telling himself this is going to pass it is just a bad phase, and you will move past it.
One day he come back from the hospital, and you are in the bathroom showering. You think about how you wanted him to have his own family and his own happiness, but he's stuck with you, and you make a decision that night. You go to the bed like always, let him kiss you on the head, but he can feel you are kinda cold.
Today you take a reckless decision, you make his breakfast and kiss his cheeks. He gets surprised because it's the first time after the incident you make the first move. He goes to the hospital as always, and instead of you going to your office, you call them and say you would step away from the law for a while. You're so heartbroken, but you won't cry. You're doing the right thing, this is what you think. Then you start packing your things, but you get just the things you bought for yourself, not the jewels he bought you, or the dresses he gifted you just the things you really owned and an old shirt of his because you are leaving him and you think you're going too far, but then you see a child with his unique features, and you just say it's for the better for both of you.
You are already going with your suitcase to the car, and Charlie barks at you like he knows what you're going to do, especially because every time you would travel with Eunseok, you were with suitcases, so he probably knows what you are doing. You are already holding the doorknob, and the dog barks again. Now he's not barking but whining. You go down to your knees and hug that cute furball. It licks you, still whining, and you want to cry. You realize that you're still with your wedding ring, and you think you owe your husband an explanation because he'll think you don't love him, but you do. You love him more than everything, that's why you're doing it. You decide you will make a letter for him.
" Eunseok, my dearest, lovely, and affectionate husband, well, if I talk about all the adjectives you are, I'll spend all day here, and I'll lose my courage to leave, although I really need to. Don't think you did something wrong, the problem here is me, me, and my own mind. I want you to be happy with your dream child who looks like you, and as time goes by, you'll slowly forget me and have your new wife, one who can make you happy and gives you whatever you want, I'm really sad that I'm not that person I really want to become, though I can't give you what you need. I tried to convince myself that it's not my fault, but when I heard your mom that night, I knew you needed someone better. I'm doing it not because I don't love you, but because if I stay, I'll kill myself slowly, and we'll ruin our relationship, I don't want you to hate me, so I'll just leave everything behind, including you, and start again. Please don't look for me, try to live your best life, and take good care of Charlie. I don't want to let him, but he's always yours, so I can't just take more from you.
I love you.
From your beautiful wife: Y/n."
You're openly crying now, you put your wedding ring on top of the letter, and now you go. You get your car and start to drive, thinking about how he'll react to that letter, if he'll go after you or let you go and move on. You know you leave with this goal, but deep inside you don't want it, you know it, and it hurts so bad. You're planning to go to your gradmother's house, she lives in a hidden wealthy neighborhood, a modest house, the perfect place for you to go now.
Eunseok arrives at home, it is late, really late. He finds it weird the lights are all off, because you are usually waiting for him, reading a book, or showering, but the house is quiet, he can just hear the calm breath of Charlie. He starts to get nervous.
He looks for you in the kitchen, in the bathroom, in the backyard, and in your room. You are nowhere, so he starts to call you incessantly, but you are not answering.
He still has the phone in his hands, praying you'd answer, but he sees your wedding ring and a paper on the desk. He gets the ring and the paper with his free hand, and he realizes that's a letter. Why would you let a letter for him?
He reads that and he can't believe it, so he goes to your closet, and there are just the things he bought for you, and for the first time in a while, he cries. He just wants your embrace and your smell right now, the thought of you thinking about him wanting another woman and you probably thinking he doesn't love you.
He hugs your pillow wanting you, he doesn't want a kid if it's not with you, and he just needs you, just you.
You come to your grandma's house, and she sees you and gives you the brightest smile, and you hug her, crying because you can break down.
"Who broke my girl's heart?" She asks.
You try to explain, but you're choked up, so she invites you in, and you explain everything to her from the day you discovered you were infertile until the day you left home, today. She understands you and says you can stay, but she says
"I won't hide you from him. I think he loves you, so if he comes here someday and you're still here, I'll say you are here."
"Grandma, I'm here to think, if I feel the urge to come back, I'll come back home, but if I don't feel it, I'll just leave everything behind and start all over again. I just want him to live his better life."
"Don't you think you're part of his better life?" She asks with a ray of hope in her tone.
"No, I'm not." You answer.
"And what about your best life, sweetheart?"
"I'm tired, it's been a long day, so thanks, grandma I'm really grateful."
You go upstairs thinking about Eunseok, about whether he has already seen it, about if he misses you, and about if he's relieved. But you chose to go so you can't go back now.
In the morning Eunseok is looking for you. He goes to your office, and they say that you told them you're going to step away from the law. He goes to his mother's house, and surprisingly, she pretends to be worried. Then he goes to your parents house, and they don't know anything about you, and they start to get worried. He goes to a lot of hotels and all of your friends houses. NO ONE knows about you. It is like you've disappeared from this Earth.
You guys never shared bank accounts because it was not something necessary, and you guys always trusted in each other, he never thought you'd go so far.
As a last resort, he goes to the police, he explains to the officer that you went away and left a letter, but no one knows where you are, and the officer says that they can't do anything about it since you left by yourself, but Eunseok tries to explain you guys are passing through a hard time and that you are not in your right mind, but the officer says that the only thing he can do is fill a report when it completes 24 hours of your being missing. He nods in response and gets out of the station.
He's getting mad at you, it's day 2, you haven't sent him anything. How can you choose for him what's better for him? Like he's a kid, but he misses you more than anything. Your clothes are already losing your smell. Charlie misses you too, it's always whining.
The thing Eunseok worries the most about is your health: if you are eating well, if you're sick, or if you're even alive, and he cries again like a baby.
The next day his mom appears in his house. She is smiley, though her own son is obviously devastated, and she says,
"Now you can divorce her without losing anything because she left and you can marry someone decent."
"Mom, are you crazy or something? I won't marry someone I don't love just because you want me to, and I won't divorce Y/n. This is all your fault, you said those horrible things about her, and she listened to all that shit. Now she is gone, and it's all your fault, so please just get out of my house. You're not welcome since you understand that I love her more than everything." He's mad, really mad.
She just gets out, and when she steps out of the house, she says
You're still at your grandma's house, you've lost weight. You don't know if it is because you miss him or because you think you don't deserve any food. Your grandmother is worried about you, but she knows Eunseok will appear and you will go with him, and you'll be happy. You deserve it.
Eunseok receives a call from your parents saying how you loved to stay at your grandma's house, so he asks for the address, and he doesn't care about the lights or the fines he'll face, he's just thinking about you.
Eunseok has not been working for days because of your disappearance. When he sees your grandma's house, he gets out of the car furiously, knocking on the door desperately. The cute old lady answers politely, and he says
"Y/n, I know she's here. I know you're hiding her, please let me talk to her."
"Hm, Y/n, she is not-" The old lady tries to speak, but he cuts her off, saying
"I know she's here." He is clearly desperate, he looks for you in that house and goes upstairs to the guest room, and you are here sleeping like a princess. You look like a broken doll right now. His heart is racing, he gets closer and murmurs in your ear.
"I'll let you sleep here for today, just for today, and tomorrow I'll come to pick you up and we'll talk and you'll come back home."
You just murmur something senseless, he smiles, getting out of the room.
"Ma'am, please don't tell her I came here because she’ll run away from me, so please, it is all I ask of you.” He’s almost yearning for the old lady, so she just nods and smiles.
He goes away, and the woman says
“These two are so complicated but so in love.”
The next morning you wake up with an anxious feeling. You didn’t have a nightmare last night, but you felt something weird. You don’t know what it is, but you are not ready for it.
In the evening you are brushing your hair, and you hear knocks coming from the front door. Your grandma answers it quickly, and you hear that familiar voice, you start panting. Your heart is racing, you’re feeling dizzy, and you close the door, but you can hear his steps coming. He knocks, saying
“Y/n, I know you are here, please let’s talk.” he sounds tired.
You open the door, and he enters. You step away from him but looking at his eyes, and he just approaches you till you hit the wall, and he says
“Why are you doing this?”
You start to cry, and you feel so weak. Like, how can’t you even face him when you did all this mess? You are such an idiot.
“Do you really think I just married you because I wanted to have a child with you?” He asks, and you can see through his eyes he is furious.
“So why did you do this to me?” He’s crying now.
“I did this, Eunseok, because I love you and you need to make your dreams happen. It’s ok if it’s not with me, you just need to be happy. Do you really think I want this? Do you think I want you to fight your mom just because she doesn’t like me? And I’m not happy seeing your own mom talking shit about me and sometimes Eunseok, I keep thinking about how I can be so useless, like I can’t even do my only function, so just live your own life and let me live mine.” You say breathlessly.
“I didn’t marry you for a child, I did it because I love you. I know it’s hard for you, but just come with me. You’re being a brat hiding things for me, disappearing without telling me anything. Do you think no one cares about you? Your parents are almost dying from worry, your friends are anxious, and, Y/n, I've been dreading this for days.” He hugs you like you’re going to disappear again and cries on your shoulder, and you cling to him because you can feel his love.
“Charlie misses you too.” He says, laughing, and you smile too.
“Please promise me that you’re not going to do this again, please.” He kisses your head.
“I can’t promise you anything.” You say he just clings more into you.
You start to pack your things again to go home. You still feel the same way but more secure. You don't know why, but when you're packing your things, he sees his old shirt. You've robbed him, and he says
"Um... yes, I got this in case I'd miss you. " He smirks, the reason is cute. You're really cute to him right now. Although you did all of that, he's still mad at you, but it does not look like he is, not at all.
You say bye to your grandma, and she says
"If he mistreats you, call me and come back! Okay, sweetie?" You nod with a smile, and he laughs.
When you get in the car, none of you say anything. You don't really want to talk right now, but Eunseok is with everything choked up, he does not know if he can talk right now.
Arriving at home, Charlie makes a party for you, it's so happy, and you miss it too. Eunseok sees everything with his warm heart. He misses you so much, and you "disappeared" for just 3 days, he doesn't know what he'd do if it were more time without you.
You go upstairs to unpack your things, he helps you.
"These days I was thinking you have pity for me, but the way you found me so fast, I know now that you really love me, just like I do." You say it all of sudden.
"And what made you think that?" He asks, taking advantage because you're saying everything you think.
"Because the way you talked to me was different when we were in your parents house, the way you treated me like glass, and because you acted like everything was normal when I was falling apart." You answer and you start sobbing.
He feels kinda guilty the way you just went away because he didn't prove his love correctly, because his mother said those things about you, and now you're thinking you're not enough. He hugs you tight, he's emotional too. He pats your head and kisses it, ensuring everything will be ok.
You sleep in his arms, so he puts you in bed and makes dinner. When you wake up, you feel the smell of food, and he is there cooking, so you hug him from behind. He knows it’s you because of your sweet, blooming hint of vanilla, he smiles.
“If you hug me like this, I’ll let it burn." he says, turning around to face you.
He kisses you and you obviously respond to the kiss. You guys start to touch each other, and he grabs your waist, kissing your neck, but suddenly he stops, saying
“It's burning.” He moves away from you, saying
“You’ll eat and recover 100%, then we will end this, okay?” He kisses you on the cheek.
He puts your food on a plate and obligates you to eat everything you do. You tell him to eat too, and he does. You guys shower and go to sleep. He’s clingy to you, and you feel his warmth, you missed that.
The next day Eunseok is still by your side at this hour, he should be in the hospital, but he’s with you with his face buried in your chest. You stroke his face and hair. He wakes up clingingto you, murmuring next to your ear.
"I love you too." You say, kissing him on the cheek. "But why are you not working? Did you quit it for me?" You say it really worried because you know Eunseok LOVES his job, but he loves you more obviously.
"No, I just explained to them the situation, and they let me take some time." He says, laughing, of your worried face. He lifts his face from your chest, starting to kiss your face, whispering.
"I have a surprise for you."
"What is it?" You ask excitedly.
"We are going to Santorini."
Santorini, the place where you two passed your honeymoon, is your favorite place on earth. Your eyes now are teary, he's really doing his best for you to recover. You kiss him and cry between kisses. When you guys pull away, he wipes your tears.
"Don't be like this, I'll do everything for you." He says, poking your cheek. You bury your face in his neck, hugging him. He smiles and hugs you back.
Two days later you're packing your things, and he hugs you from behind, kissing your neck. You laugh because it tickles. On the way to the airport, Charlie is on your lap all excited, he licks your face, and you tell it to behave. On the plane Charlie is on the pet carrier, a little sad because he is cooped up. Eunseok is by your side holding your hand, but he’s sleeping, you are looking through the window. You came back home to him, but you are not recovered, you still feel useless and a piece of shit. Knowing it is not your fault, which is worse because you can’t do anything about it, but this travel will make you better because you love the beach.
Arriving at your hotel, you realize that's the same hotel as your honeymoon. In your bedroom you get stunned because of the view. He hugs you from behind, saying
You nod, turning around to face him.
"Thank you for all this." You say.
"I just need you to know you deserve all this, you don't need to thank me." He answers, and you hug him tight.
You're getting ready for dinner because your husband told you guys are going to a fancy restaurant, so you put on his favorite dress, a white silk one with gold floral details on it. You keep your hair down to look more casual because you tried a bun, but it was too much.
When you get off the room, he sees you stunningly. You are so beautiful with that damn dress that makes him go crazy. He takes your hand and asks.
"Yes." You answer with a beautiful smile, and Charlie is looking at you two with a sad posture because it is not going.
Arriving at the restaurant, you guys sit at a table near the window, looking at your own reflection in the window. You're broken, you are still broken, but you still look like yourself. You look at your own reflection and see the beautiful woman that you are. The dinner was perfect. You drank a lot of wine, and now you're tipsy, you've reconnected with yourself. Eunseok is holding you by the waist to keep you steady. You try to get off of his grip, saying
But he still holds you with a stronger grip.
In the rented car, you're so quiet that Eunseok finds it weird, and the way you got tipsy just drinking two glasses (usually you can handle three), but he's happy that you look more relaxed. He parks the car, and you try to get out alone but stumble. He quickly gets out of the car, gets you, and is taking you back to the hotel, but you mumble.
He takes you there, and you crouch to see it, your eyes are glossy, and you're so pretty like this. He takes a picture of you with the digicam he brought without you knowing, and you don't see him taking the photo. He helps you up and takes you to your room.
In your room you give him a peck on his cheek, he looks at you and says
"You're too drunk now, baby. Behave."
You shake your head and say
"Noo, let me have you tonight." You grab his collar and pull him closer to you. You kiss him, and he deepens the kiss. You melt into him, and he grabs you by your waist. When you guys pull away panting, he hugs you and you squeeze him.
"I want the bed." You murmur.
"I think I spoiled you so much." He says, teasing you.
He picks you up in his arms and puts you in bed, he takes out his social shirt and the jeans he has on, being only in his boxers for you. You look at his dick, and it's up. You sit in the bed and touch it, teasing his covered tip, looking up for him, saying
"You missed me this much?"
He pins you down onto the bed, interlocking his fingers with yours and leaving you gasping in surprise. Eunseok is always so calm you forget he can be like this too.
He starts touching your thighs, lifting your dress till it reaches your panties. He sees you all wet for him, he touches your core covered, which makes you whimper. You bite your lips and plead.
You whine, he starts to rub his dick against your core, but both are covered. You moan in response. You have never tasted something like this. You guys have made tons of things during sex, but never dry humping. You want him so bad inside you, so you ask.
"Why are we doing it like this?"
"I need to make sure you're prepared for it love." He answer.
You moan now because it is so good, but you need him inside because you're clenching at nothing. You look down, and both of your underwears are soaking wet.
"Eunseok faster." You tell him.
"Okay, princess." He says with a teasing smile.
He goes faster, you start to moan louder, he gets overwhelmed, and you hear a plop. He looks down, and your underwear is ripped, and now he's inside you.
"Oh my god, you're so sassy. You knew this was going to happen, right?" Eunseok says with the most teasing smirk you've ever seen.
"We both knew it." You answer.
You can feel his dick filling all of you, and he starts to thrust harder. You moan, saying
"Seok, this is too much- ah I'm not going to laaast."
"It's okay love, you can take it." He says.
"Babe, please harder." You plead, he just smirks.
The feeling of your pussy clenching around his dick is not going to let him last any longer, so he starts to rub his thumb into your clit, and you scream with pleasure. You come to him trembling and murmuring senseless things, and he comes inside you. He takes out his hand and puts it inside you to get your cum. This action makes you moan, and he tastes your lips.
"Is everything okay, love?" He asks with the tenderness he doesn't have in sex.
You nod because you are too tired to talk, he gets a wet towel and takes care of you while you are half sleeping.
You're on the beach with the dress you put on for your marriage, you are feeling the breeze on your face. Everything feels so light, you feel so good, but when you turn around, you see Eunseok. He's not looking at you. You call him, but he does not answer. You scream louder, but he does not listen. You try to go to him, but is like your foot is stuck in the sand. You try to get out and call, but suddenly a woman with a little girl holding her hand is approaching him. You see everything. She kiss his cheek and he kiss the little girl head she was probably 4 years old the little girl looks at you she looks exactly like Eunseok her cheeks and mouth is the same, you try to get out but they start to walk and you're sweating and crying.
You wake up crying and hyperventilating. Eunseok feels your body missing and sits up, seeing you crying and sobbing.
"Y/n, what is happening? Why are you crying, love?" He asks you, really worried.
"I had a dream you... you went away... with another woman, and you... you had a child, she was exactly like you. You left me on the beach in our marriage dress." You say with your voice trembling and trying to assimilate things.
He hugs you tightly and say
"I'm here with you right now, it was just a nightmare love. It's okay right now." He says
You cling to him, and you're still nervous, he pats your back.
"Tell me you won't go away, please promise me." You beg him.
"I won't babe. I'll always choose you and no one else just you love." He answers.
After a while you get calmer, and you ask him suddenly.
"I don't know tomo-" He tries to say, but you get off of the bed.
You walk through the room calling for it, but it is not answering. You start to get worried about him.
"Love, calm down, it is here somewhere. Lets look for it tomorrow."
"Eunseok, what if he's run away? What if it is in danger right now? What if-" He cuts you off this time.
"Love, stop overthinking. Let's remember what we did a few hours ago."
You get red but answer, "We went to a restaurant, and then we had sex."
"Okay, when we have sex where does Charlie usually stay?" He asks calmly.
"It gets scared because of the sounds and goes under the bed. Lets look there okay?"
You guys go look up there, and there it is sleeping like a baby. You almost cry in relief, and he kisses your head saying, "It's okay, love."
You guys go back to sleep. He holds you, saying
"When we go back home, I'll stay at home with you love, every day even when I go back to work ok? You're my priority, and I'll always choose you over anything in this world.
