show praise with your body

when the music hits you, you feel no pain

[kayzean]

“The memories of those we care for only hurt because we care…”

I not crying… No wait I am. And so are you. This got me. It really really did. Thanks bungo…

[fullmetal-undyne]

[lonelydestinyhunter]

All that's left is solar

[numberonetrashpeanut]

I have to stop myself from messGing you because i know that i'll be nothing but a burden.

[numberonetrashpeanut]

I've got no one to talk to, he was my only person i felt comfortable telling my deepest of woes but each time i try to talk to someone it ends either with me feeling like a burden or them just listening to me because they feel bad then going off and talking about their life like mine is only a side topic. I can't handle this, i guess my anger has been showing and i can't allow that i'm trying to live with it but also maintain it but if i let my true colors show people dont like when i'm me. People dont like the me i've been hiding all these years because the facade of a kind person is just too much to bear, i've got my limits and i've damn near reached it

[numberonetrashpeanut]

I dreamt about you last night. We met again, we managed to find a way to be happy again, you weren't tortured by tour demons and clouded mind. I wish i could have stayed in that dream forever. Somthing even better, i wish i could live that dream, i wish it'd come true but thats not how life works for me. I dont get a lucky hand, i'm always the one who has to fold their cards in the end. Maybe one day after i've waited and waited i'll get lucky. Whether its you who wanders back into my life or someone like you who doesn't give up on me. I just hope i make it long enough to find out whats waiting for me because i think deep down, i'm losing myself.

[numberonetrashpeanut]

Its nights like these where i miss you so much, cold rainy nights. Bundled up under blankets and loads of pillows while your faint breathing on my neck ehile watching movies. Its like the earth stopped still just for us, allowing us to have a moment in time for us and us only. I miss those nights, i would give anything to experience them with you again. I wish we could just go back to being to what we were before things got bad, I wish we worked out in the end, I wish I could just love you at the right time, I wish I wasn't late for your love. I'm sorry. I miss you.

[numberonetrashpeanut]

Here i am again, coming back in shambles. I thought i could fix it this time. I couldn't, the spark isnt there in him. I'm foolish and naive to think i'm worth someones time at this point in time. I'll never meet someone i loved like you, maybe i can get somehting similar but never love someone like i ever did the first time i loved you. I wish this could've been different. I wish we couldn've been with each other in the end but the universe had separate plans for each of us and i have to accept that. I hope you have a great life without me. Who knows, maybe you'll come back. But i'm not expecting you to. I never expect anyone to remember me like the first time. I just wanted to see your sunshine one more time, just one more time.

[numberonetrashpeanut]

That ex that i thought i said goodbye to? Well the universe gave me signs and i took them, we are back. To an extent, he cares for me and im important to him but hes fading. Maybe its his mental health doing this to him and he claims to be getting medication soon and im just hoping that omce he gets medicated things will change. The depression medication will help him, the anxiety medication will help him. I want him to realize i wont leave him for his mental health. I won't give up on him even if it gets bad, i'll stick by his side even if it hurts. Because not being with him hurts more than anything else, my love for him is too great to ignore, love will come through and it will win, hes the only one who makes me believe in truly loving someone. Things will be okay.

[numberonetrashpeanut]

Please dont give up on me

[numberonetrashpeanut]

To the Ex I never said goodbye too

Dear A.e.T

The way things ended between us were heartbreaking. We cared for each other and wanted it all to work, atleast I did and you said you did, i will never be sure on how you truly felt and hope that it was somthing almost salvageable. But i think it was for the best, it hurts and its a pain that isnt linear when it comes to healing but i'll get over my hill. I still think about you day, i hope you are safe with evey trip you make and every shift you walk into, its tough typing these words out knowing you'll never see them but i think its time for me to finally accept the hand life as delt to us. Im going to miss you, the way you laugh, the odd quirks you have when it came to personal stuff and how you always seemed so certain but in truth never know what to do when you were with me. The car rides we would take may have been just that, but they meant so much to me. I held onto you every second because i never wanted to leave you but now i see that somewhere in the woods we lost each other and came out on different ends. You were the first one who made me feel loved and like i was somthing special. I wish i could have had more with you, a lofe with you. I accept what has happend and keep strong because i know we ended on good terms but in some moment i realized i never said goodbye. So this is my letter to you from me, this is my goodbye letter in hopes that i move on and you do too, maybe in the future when were older and wiser we will find each other again, im not gonna hold the door open but i'll keep the door unlocked waiting for you if you ever return. Goodbye, Austin. And yes, I did love you.

Sincerely,

Jarret

[numberonetrashpeanut]

He doesnt post on his story unless he wants to be seen. He posted these songs with lyrics that scream "come back" but is this for me? Is he wanting me to message him? I want to believe this is a sign, but i have too much thats telling me not to give in. If he truly misses me and wants to see me again. He'll message, im not gonna try. I wont cave. I must have patience and see how this rolls out

[numberonetrashpeanut]

I wish you'd come back

I wish you'd see me. I wish you'd drive back to me and get on the ground with me as i break into tears about how much i miss you. I wish things could change. It feels like death knowing we love each other but can't be together. No other person can fill the void like you did, you filled the void of my sad lonley self and made me feel like i could move forward with life and be okay. But its all different now. The distance between us is vast both physically and mentally. I miss you, do you miss me? If so, come back. Show me how much you miss me. Kiss me with the passion of 10 thousand suns, embrace me and never let go. Hold me just one more time, please.

[numberonetrashpeanut]

I got a sign from the universe. I asked and it answered but i fucked it up. The guy i was in love with and wanted to be with lost his way to me and is no longer mine. Im sad and hurt but i cant feel it, its deep in my chest but not coming forth and right now all i want is just for it to surface so i can let go and let loose. Let me be free for one night. Please.

[sixofcaydes]

The Right Choice - Ghost Shell

[nnnnnkmmmmmn]

for cayde

[beezeeks-deactivated20181230]

Bungie: *removes cayde*