What Your Secondary NHL Team Says About You
Anaheim Ducks: You prefer players who've matured past silly things such as being exciting or likable.
Arizona Coyotes: You wanna root for a Strome but Ryan hasn't put up numbers you're willing to commit to.
Boston Bruins: You're an asshole.
Buffalo Sabres: You like Eichel a bit too much.
Calgary Flames: You like Gaudreau a bit too much.
Carolina Hurricanes: You like Skinner way too much.
Chicago Blackhawks: You enjoy figuring out how to make any given conversation about you.
Colorado Avalanche: You vaguely remember hearing of someone named "Forsberg" but mostly you like to look at Gabriel Landeskog.
Columbus Blue Jackets: You don't want to look like you're bandwagon hopping, but you want at least some hope for the future and a likable goaltender.
Dallas Stars: You read more fanfiction than analysis.
Detroit Red Wings: You're Swedish.
Edmonton Oilers: You have an incredible fear of success and fulfilment.
Florida Panthers: You like to piss off Canadians.
Los Angeles Kings: You talk about being without a cup for 40 years as justification for the current state of the fanbase despite the fact you started cheering for them in 2013
Montreal Canadiens: Your friends are getting tired of doing the triple low-five with you so you had to find new ones.
Minnesota Wild: You like the colors green, red, and irrelevance.
Nashville Predators: You talk a lot about defensive hockey and goaltending but really you just like watching Shea Weber launch slappers from the point.
New Jersey Devils: You got an ill-advised Martin Brodeur tattoo and are really sticking with it.
New York Islanders: You want a team that's on the rise but doesn't pose a threat to your actual team in the playoffs.
New York Rangers: You want the history of an Original Six franchise without the pressure of recent success.
Ottawa Senators: You're trying to disappoint a Leafs fan on a personal level.
Philadelphia Flyers: You're very difficult to watch hockey with.
Pittsburgh Penguins: You're absolutely impossible to watch hockey with.
San Jose Sharks: You look good in teal and decided to give yourself a good reason to wear it.
St. Louis Blues: You weren't content with just being an annoying Cardinals fan.
Tampa Bay Lightning: You enjoy pissing off Canadians even more than Panthers fans.
Toronto Maple Leafs: You want to indulge in misery during the offseason but once the season starts you want an actually worthwhile team to watch.
Vancouver Canucks: You love nothing more than a good Cup Final loss.
Washington Capitals: You wanted a team without any cups so you could feel like an underdog rooting for them despite Alex Ovechkin being on their roster.
Winnipeg Jets: You're a Jets fan who doesn't understand what a secondary team is.
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