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@numbtheheartache
"happy birthday, baby, you are the most wonderful person I've ever met, and I feel so lucky to know you. So lucky to be with you. You're so wonderful, sweet, funny, kind... You're everything I ever wanted. And... Well... It was really hard not to fall in love with you, but I did. This may be a weird time to put that in there, but. I really do."
Going to save this here for forever, thanks :)
Feeling a bit... disconnected. Off. Trying not to think about the next few weeks and how I'll still be on the other side of the world from them all.
She flew out to see me. An 18+ hour flight, which she apparently hates doing. For me. Even though I have shows and interviews and we'll be running around like crazy trying to make everything work. Even though vocal rest means I can't talk very freely. Even if some nights we'll be crammed together in a tour bus with the rest of the team.
I'm gonna ask her to be mine. Goddamn do I adore her.
Why does it always feel like something bad happens when I'm not there to help pick up the pieces?
Penny got bit. And not by choice. Fucking christ.
Genuinely, truly helpful ❤️
In four days I'm leaving, heading off to Australia for about three weeks. And then I'll be back in LA for a few days but then I need to go home to Ireland and-
I am. So scared and nervous. And I'm really, really trying to make sure she doesn't know. Because we're not- she's not mine. But the distance won't be easy and I don't want to see her get hurt and fucking christ, I wasn't expecting her, or this, but here we are.
I just want her to be okay. I need her to be okay.
Hard to sit here and just. Hear what Nate's going through. Especially since I was just fucking there. But I'm driving Pen to the airport to be with him but fucking christ, give the man a break.
Tempted to just... go with her. Leave everything behind and check up on him. But that means leaving Juniper while she's sleeping and that's not fair and-
Fucking. God.
Do you ever just-
i want to do absolutely disgusting things w u like hold your hand in public & make you feel loved
She knows. And she has been nothing but understanding and kind and supportive and fuck I'm absolutely terrified. Being this vulnerable is.. frightening. I'm scared, because I've never had this conversation before. But it's going well. So so well.
... Feels like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. Something's gotta give.
Every time I think back on that kiss, I start smiling to myself. Oh I've got it baaaaaad.
lets out a single agonized bloodcurdling scream but doesnt elaborate on why and just walks it off
A date. Dinner on Friday. I'm wildly bouncing between excited to nervous.
I'm trying to listen to my own advice- enjoy the moment, don't let fear ruin a good thing. Not that it's a thing, not yet... but it could be. I just need to make sense of my head and my heart and not fuck everything up.
Tonight was.. fine. More than fine, really. You got me out of my own head and made tonight fun in a way I wasn't expecting. In a way that I really, truly needed. I'm grateful for you and this new.. whatever this is, far more than you realize.
embarassing to want things like love and attention
