the beating heart of sickbay

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗕𝗘𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗧 𝗢𝗙 𝗦𝗜𝗖𝗞𝗕𝗔𝗬 𝘪𝘯𝘥. 𝘮𝘶𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘴-𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘦𝘭

[nursc]

you know, self-pity’s a terrible first course ──  why don’t you try the soup instead?

#nursc. independent, selective, mutuals exclusive portrayal of christine chapel from star trek. headcanon based. highly critical of snw. loved by odette     (   96, gmt -3, she/her   ). multiverse and oc friendly !!

exploring concepts of :  the universe as a playground,  being careful what you wish for,  of the mad scientist, the personification of the sunflower,  the magnetic heroine,  and of sunlight, warmth and healing

main verses (at present): modern medical (the pitt), historical && canon (odette's version)

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CARRD. ‎ , INT. TRACKER. ‎ , MEMES. ‎ , WISHLIST.

[tuskslove]

what do you need to get some basic empathy back? ind. highly private multimuse primarily headcanon based. very plot-focused! adored and grown by odette ( 29, gmt-3, she/her ).

[nursc]

BE GONE SUCKERS

[weltenwellen]

Nicole W. Lee, from "Even the Dust"

[fcrthestars]

If La'an were a more dramatic person, she'd pinch her nose with a groan. It is on her that she's encouraged Christine to snoop further, even inadvertently.

She frowns, muscles locking, ears straining to hear - La'an doesn't have a chance to respond as Christine pushes her into the wardrobe. No sound of protest, or annoyance, escapes her lips.

Her eyes dart over Christine's shoulder to the door still ajar behind them. Unfortunate, but La'an doesn't move or tell Christine to adjust it. Better to not draw any attention to it; she raises a finger to her lip and waits.

As footsteps recede, Christine whispers, "That doesn't sound like Pike or Number One."

[nursc]

❛⠀no, it doesn't, ❜ she agrees, words whispered under her breath, afraid to make a sound. whoever it is, they continue padding softly across pike's quarters, christine guesses they are somewhere in the kitchen. ❛⠀and they knew we were here. ❜

instead, they stay quiet. walking around until they find something and stop. she listens to her own breathing, counting each breath. at thirty, a cramp seizes her right leg from being folded into the closet. at forty-three, she bites back a whimper. at sixty-five, the person starts again, their footsteps coming closer but instead of walking into the bedroom, the doors open and close behind them.

she counts three more breaths before dropping out of the closet.

[asynjja]

@nursc sent,  “ Oh,  and  remember,  you  owe  me. ”

There’s  a  grin  when  she  slips  off  the  examination  table  and  buttons  her  vest  up again.  Doctors  are  typically  a  group  of  people  notoriously  avoided  at  all  costs,   but  if  there’s  anyone  able  to  make  her  sit  still  long  enough  to  check  her  stubbornly  tachycardic  heart,  it  certainly  is  Christine.  “ Hm  ––   are  we  talking  a  coffee  to  make  up  for  anonymising  my  file,  or  more  like  a  three-course  meal? ”  She’d  take  either:  it’s  hard  to  find  time  for  anything  nowadays,  but  a  little  glance  of  a  woman  made  of  sunshine  and  she  becomes  willing  to  forgo  at  least  some  of  her  responsibilities.  Alas,  crushes.   A  terribly sabotaging  disease.  Hands  free  her  hair  from  underneath  the  vest’s  collar  and  she  smoothes  the  fabric  down.   “ Are  you  free  tomorrow? ”

[nursc]

❛ you don't waste any time, ❜ christine says, a little hum under her breath, all to aware of m'benga's curious gaze on the other side of the room. he will not ask questions, she knows. this is their sickbay, and if someone wants to keep a small secret, it is nobody's business but their own. but there will be judgment all the same, over how easily she blushes when moa speaks, how she lingers. ❛ if i'm free tomorrow, will you promise to surprise me? ❜

[sanitatcm]

he breathes a silent sigh of relief when she takes up the new subject. as she fetches her drawings, it is impossible not to imagine her back in his cottage, moving confidently around the space, making it as much her own as it had ever been his. he smiles a little as she returns, warmed by a sudden realization - she has imagined their home together too. as practical and unromantic as her planning may have been, it sings in his chest all the same.

in fact, it is the closest thing he's felt to reassurance since he'd come here tonight...

" you have a much greener thumb than i, " he says, a self-deprecating laugh on his lips as he takes her sketches. a quick glance is all that is needed to prove she is the far more skilled gardiner... " no doubt you'll have success where i did not. " in truth, he had not made much of an effort to attempt a proper garden, living as he did off the tokens of eggs left to him by his patients, and whatever little meat or fish he bought. he'd always wondered how demelza managed to make a garden thrive with the sea salt air ripping mercilessly through it. but perhaps christine would show him... yet another change for the better. " but that is true of a great many things, " he adds softly. as he hands her back the papers, their fingers brush - just for a moment.

his eyes meet hers - and he is back in that afternoon with her. shoulders touching as they bent to examine the ligaments of a hand a poor farmer had lost to a wayward scythe. it is not just the nearness of her that he recalls, or the scent of her hair. it is the thrill of discovery, the questions and observations that trip between his tongue and hers - perfectly in sync, and for once, no trace of disharmony between them.

the memory is as powerful as the one he holds of her beneath him, her lips on his skin...

dwight clears his throat. " that sounds perfect, " he says, smiling gently at her. " at this rate, we'll have the finest operation in the district. " his tone is light, but he means every word. " i - " the admission stalls on his lips a moment. " i truly am looking forward to his... to all of it. "

[nursc]

christine stiffens at the compliment, at the shock of awareness that spreads outward from the small point of contact between their fingers, radiating through her entire body and settling low and warm in her belly. she drops his gaze. swallowing hard, she lets his words wash over her, ignoring the small smile that she can't escape, and shifts her attention back to the drawing between them, to her plans for how to make his house hers as well. not theirs, that would be an entirely different conversation. one that would start in her plans for the bedroom, the one area where her drawing remains just a sketch.

it is the part she fears and looks forward to in equal measure.

in that, at least, she knows there won't be any arguments. each time they have tried to broach the subject, it has ended the same way it started, and she fears she is the one to blame for it. christine can't help it. the way her body wants him, how the wanting spreads until it is all she can think about. even now, angry as she is with his stupid half-hearted attempts at complimenting her when she knows exactly what he really thinks, it simmers just beneath the surface.

❛ i am looking forward to getting rid of my landlady, ❜ she says, choosing to ignore everything else he said to avoid a headache. arguing with him always leaves behind a headache she can't shake; for her own peace and quiet, she doesn't point out that she won't work for him. her operation will be grand. his? that's his problem to solve. she won't carry another man on her back, once was enough. ❛ she doesn't like me. and she certainly doesn't like you. ❜ finally, blue eyes lift again, catching his, meeting the softness of his gaze with a sharp twinkle. ❛ i must admit, it was fun telling her of our engagement. ❜

[fcrthestars]

Admittedly, freak is a rather tame claim. A claim, that as Christine says, anyone who works with her would have no trouble making. But Jo hadn't meant to be insulting, only distracting.

And Jo's successful, Christine's attention is fully on them and her work temporarily forgotten.

"I was making conversation," Jo responds with a shrug. "Which is what one does when bored on a strange planet. And did I mention hungry? I'm hungry and bored - and it's your problem. Your fault, actually, Chapel."

[nursc]

belatedly, christine realizes they are having two very different conversations. she is just reacting to the words, mind still on the project in front of her, not allowing for interpretation and jo is...

❛⠀ any specific reason why you are speaking in riddles?⠀ ❜ the part of her brain still focused on the project, snags on this. there are some strange, rare reactions to the atmosphere of this planet, but no one had been able to figure out exactly what was causing this. ❛⠀ what are you craving?⠀ ❜

[dearemma]

Kara Killmer and Jesse Spencer as Sylvie Brett and Matthew Casey — Chicago Fire | No Survivors

[revcre]

ksunye glances side-long at christine, the woman's features distinct despite the low light. a few heartbeats, a few footfalls, pass, and then she shrugs. the gesture is small enough for the eye to miss, though ksunye feels the shift and easing of her muscles, the fading of a tension that perhaps never existed outside her mind. ❛ you may ask, ❜ she replies with deliberate emphasis. you may ask, but I may not answer. a tenuous compromise at best, perhaps more a stalemate than compromise.

she is content to walk in silence, to let her companion's intermittent commentary fade unacknowledged into the periphery of her awareness. ❛ I suppose, ❜ she muses, as if she had not walked for nearly thirty minutes in silence, when she knows their destination to be around one final bend, ❛ that I ought to have confirmed that you have no fear of water. or of the dark. or of small spaces. ❜ the statement is wry more than it is a question; though there is truth in it, she harbors no actual concern. ❛ if you do, now would perhaps be a wise time to say so. ❜

[nursc]

❛ i suppose you should have, ❜ she admonishes, with a good natured laugh, a bit taken aback by the sudden question, but mostly amused. ❛ seems like an important thing to ask. ❜ again, she wonders exactly what role she is supposed to play in ksunye's grand plans -- if she were afraid of the dark, what would happen? she wants to snatch back the words and run through this conversation over again, realising only as she laughed and shook her head that she lost an opportunity to learn more.

it is only natural that a few minutes after promising to rein in her questions, she has another one burning at the tip of her tongue. ❛ seems like a good time to check on any other possible fears... ❜

[forgaeven]

❛⠀wha' is it t' ye' ?  ❜ he spits, enraged as he is scared.

and why wouldn't he be ? the last time two hands o' the kings had come t' him, ask him 'bout his names, about his mum, they've both been killed. but beyond tha', gendry now knows better wha' people could really do with ye' if they know ye' enough. you are robert baratheon's bastard, the red lady said t' him once, on tha' ship, as they sail past the insurmountable red keep tha' had always overshadowed the rest o' the crownlands. the first of his name, king of the andals and the first men. why do you think the city watch wanted you ?

there is power in a king's blood.

there is power, indeed, but none he could use, is what the red priest didn't say t'him, though gendry supposes that's on him, it'd be. of course even knowin' what's coursin' right through him wouldn't do much beyond makin' him slightly more valuable to be used, to be sold and traded, to be killed. wha' a load o' bull's dung, it all is. and he'd been so stupid, so clueless, from seein' it all. but how could he ? how could he understand the significance o' what it could mean t' be the bastard son of a fat, useless king ?

❛⠀'re ye' a witch ?  ❜ he asks, simply because that's the first thing that comes t' mind, before— right. the pale almost-white attire. gendry's seen this before. is she— ❛⠀a septa. right ? those ladies preachin' about o' the faith ? ye' can keep yer' gods. is tha' what yer' doing t'me ? are ye' makin' somethin' of me t' be given yer' gods ? fuck ye'.  ❜

[nursc]

waiting for a patient to wake was the physician's task that demanded the most patience, and, christine always thought, the one that sat closest to nature. to sit beside a patient through the night, holding their hand or simply keeping them company, one could, in the moments between, feel the earth breathing. and yet, she always struggled with it. there was beauty in it, a sacrifice she made willingly, but she resented those hours all the same, restless, struggling to stay still.

a few minutes with gendry made her miss her night-watch. at least, then, he had been pleasant. his snoring was much more bearable than his sneering.

❛⠀ it's what people do,⠀ ❜ she replies, head tilting to the side to watch him. ❛⠀ they say hello, they say their names, and if they are feeling talkative, they say 'how do you do?' and wait for the other person to answer before cursing at them.⠀ ❜

blue eyes widen at his accusation, and without meaning to she laughs. lifting a hand to cover her mouth, christine takes a deep breath, smothering the giggles. ❛⠀ i don't think i've ever been accused of being a witch of the seven. that is a first.⠀ ❜ it is usually the other way around. a follower of the seven pointing their finger at her. very curious. ❛⠀ i'm trying to help you. i helped you already, in fact,⠀ ❜ she says, motioning to his chest.

[startold]

he's stuck between a rock & a hard place. he wants to help people- really he does. but. . . what's he supposed to do in an active emergency? he has no protective gear, his weapon is barely hanging on. his first aid skills extend to cuts from repairing his ship. had he been trained once before? sure, but that was a long time ago. in another life.

❛ i don't want to be useful. ❜ tobias tosses back at her. it's the opposite of the truth, but why not live up to her current expectations? ❛ i want to go back to my ship & fly the immediate other way of whatever's going on here. ❜ so why is he still following her? he'll say he's just curious, wants to get the down low before he runs away. but really he's already skimming over the details on the screen, psyching himself up for danger.

[nursc]

that declaration, more than anything else, shocks her. it is not his hair, the strange life he is leading out on the outskirts of federation space, or even his absence she's had to live with, but his declaration he doesn't want to be useful. she cannot wrap her mind around it. she's spent her whole life trying to be useful, trying to be good and finding ways to help people, and in starfleet, she found a mirror. she found understanding, people filled with the same urge as she, and tobias had been a part of it.

a believer, like her.

why else would he have blown up his life? didn't he believe in it? did he throw it all away on a whim? pain and anger seize her chest, her heart drumming against its cage.

❛⠀is it not about what you want, ❜ she says, stopping in front of him. ❛⠀not everything is about you, tobias. but these people do need another pair of hands to help them, and you're all i have. ❜ and despite it all, despite how selfish it feels to hope for this when people are sick, she wants him there to prove her wrong.

[revcre]

today's wild nonsense: disco.rd is depriving me of access to the one person I talk to every single day. I can see my messages from and message literally anyone else. but odette? nah, that's not allowed...

[revcre]

update: we're going with stressed af.

[nursc]

discord really said: im tired of the two of you talking non-stop, shut up, get out of my app.

[nursc]

i was in the er with my mom until four a.m., so i'll probably be a little groggy and just not around for the next few days <3

[revcre]

eyes narrow at christine's sigh. ❛ and thus, shift changes? ❜ ksunye presses, hoping thereby to hasten this story to its relevant ending and not the ending she suddenly fears might loom should she let it go unchecked: a proposal that the captain's plans be derailed, perhaps complete with some daring rescue of his gorgeous mistress... the possibility seems more plausible than it ought, despite the lack of any evidence that said woman requires rescuing. ❛ shift changes perhaps leaving an unfortunate-for-those-responsible but very-convenient-for-us flaw in the defenses? ❜

[nursc]

❛⠀now you're following me! that wasn't so hard now, was it? ❜ not that ksunye needed a new flaw to exploit. from what she's seen of the plan, it'll work. the contingencies have contingencies, very different from her own plan of getting inside and improvising the rest. but, hey, if the universe wants to play on their side, she is not going to say no. ❛⠀imagine what else we can do with this extra wiggle-room? ❜ she asks, eyebrows dancing.

[fcrthestars]

Jim stubbornly refuses to lift his gaze. He feels guilty and hot underneath his skin, anger and frustration still haunting him. Feelings, he fears, that won't leave until this place is far, far behind their backs.

"I'm sorry," he mumbles, barely raising his voice enough to be heard. It isn't what Christine deserves, and that guilt will eat away at him later. "I didn't sleep enough, apparently." A plain lie, but easier to say.

Inhaling, Jim finally lifts his gaze enough to peek at Christine and asks, "Is this somewhere you'd want to live?"

[nursc]

❛⠀ sure.⠀ ❜ distrust marks her word, lips tightening into a white line. he is not a baby. just because he didn't sleep well doesn't mean he gets to be cranky; she's spent enough nights at his side to know that is pretty far from the truth.

her gaze drops when his lifts, not ready to meet his gaze. ❛⠀ i have no clue. i didn't think i'd be living in space, but here i am. ❜ she says, looking out into one of the fields, the cow-like animals grazing. ❛⠀ i liked growing up on a farm. i liked knowing my neighbours, that everyone knew my name and my mom. ⠀ ❜

[physiiciian]

Ever persistent, and possibly more stubborn than he is, she urges him to take the rest with increased assertion, to which he sighs with a softened expression. It’s as she’s said: she’s a nurse first. She’ll always put others ahead of herself, even him, so unworthyof her kindness and generosity. God, he loves her.

To appease her, he takes a bite, making a show of it by exaggerating his chewing before finally swallowing.

“There. Happy?”

In truth, he’s not sure happiness is an attainable emotion these days, but one can hope. Particularly when it comes to someone so wholly deserving of it. Someone like her.

It’s a relief to hear she’s staying behind. He worries a little less about the execution of their scavenging trips when he knows she isn’t out on the field.

The perimeter of the cabin is reinforced with both abatises that deter larger hoards of the undead, as well as fortified walls that double as ramparts for those on sentry duty. Over the months, the place has become safer than anywhere else for miles, but the occasional group of live threats are far more difficult to keep at bay. There’s always a potential wrench to be thrown into the works.

Robby brushes his fingers through her hair with reverence, always reminding himself that it could be the last time he does so. Every moment spent with Christine is precious. One day, he might not make it back to her.

“And stay here with Mrs. Audrey? Fuck no. A supply run is a cake walk in comparison to her harping about the accommodations of Abbot Resort.”

Thank God for Jack, both his property and vast knowledge in military tactics saving their asses on more than one occasion.

[nursc]

as predicted, dangling her safety and a boring day in front of him has him munching through the protein bar in seconds. christine lifts her head and presses a kiss to his cheek, nuzzling into the hair of his beard before settling back against him, more relaxed than before, the soft drag of his fingers through her scalp lulling her into a rare moment of peace.

❛ ecstatic, ❜ she says. in truth, she isn't sure that word has any meaning anymore; there are moments of happiness here, moments of pleasure with him, stolen and few and far between as they are, they still exist, anchoring her to her own body. without it, she is not sure what would be left of her, and if that shell would have the strength to survive.

but it feels nice to say it. to pretend words like that still have any place in this universe.

she smiles into his chest as he starts ranting, a rare giggle shaking her frame. ❛ she was speaking about cake the other day. going on and on about how much she misses it, the smell, and i... and i almost slipped and used some morphine to shut her up. ❜ the few other older survivors were right up there with her, torn between joining mrs. audrey in memory lane and stuffing her mouth with something to stop tempting their stomachs with something out of reach.

❛ i didn't do it! i didn't. but it was right there aaand i thought i was gonna have a riot on my hands. it seemed like the thing to do. but i didn't do it. ❜