So you decided to be a nurse eh?
Well Well Well, you thought this nursing things was supposed to be heroic and all huh? Think again!
Hi There, My name is Kayla, and well Ive been doing this nursing gig for damn near 13 years and sometimes it is not all it's siked up to be, especially in 2019 when Covid changed everything!!
Let's rewind to the very very beginning, back to 2010 when I first enrolled into a vocational program for my practical nursing license. Ya see, I was one of those gals who never really sat out knowing what I wanted out of life. Never knew what I was destined for. I was a 18 year old, working two full time jobs just to pay the rent, living in a female "bachelor pad" with two other gals and grew to hate it! Living with your girlfriends isn't as pleasant and "fun" as they say. Especially when you have exams every single day. Nursing school is a time when you have to dedicate your whole being to one curricular and learn every part of the human body, functions, disorders, care plans, calculations, medications, etc crammed all in a year. 2010 was the fastest, most sleepless year of my life. It wasn't until several months after graduation and my first gig that I would learn how rewarding but serious it could become...
October 2011, My first nursing job as an LPN consisted of drug/alcohol behavior health. I became a full time GPN at the time before even completing my Nclex at the end of that month. I was currently working second shift in the detox unit on a white deer run campus. I learned more about the substances your body becomes dependent on and the mental health that mind fucks you with it on a daily basis. This is controversial topic til this day but after working in the field for two years, I first handedly seen the impact chemicals play in one's life. The highest of highs to lowest of lows, from what society calls "tweekers" to what psychiatrist have diagnosed as "suicide"
I was 19, 8 Months into my first nursing gig that I was the first to respond to a critical code blue. Critical. This wasn't just some normal detox seizure or panic attack like all the others, this was when I would experience my first death experience as a young, inexperienced nurse. It was 5am, I had stayed over to work a sixteen-hour shift that night, When arriving to the scene I was immediately met by a male tech who warned me to gather myself, pull my bearings together because this scene was a "DOA" (Dead on arrival) When I walked up to the cabin, my heart dropped to my stomach so hard I immediately became nauseous. There before me was a gentleman, Approx in his later 20's, hanging by a sheet from an outside fire escape. His face was a dead cold blue and his neck was cock eyed with eye petruding. It was just like you would see in a horror movie, except this was the reality of it. A suicidal thought, ideation and plan that had successfully been carried out. I was stunned, stood dead in my own footsteps, helpless. I just stared, wondering where it all went wrong. What could or should have been done to prevent this occurrence and how did this happen? I'll be the first to tell you that my throat went numb, I couldn't speak, and my mind went completely blank. I just continued to stare in disbelief. It wasn't until one of the techs took me by the arm and motioned for me to keep it moving. I then dismissed myself to the detox unit after being advised by my supervisor that the seen needed to be assessed and I should begin interviewing other clients on the premises that knew the deceased. The investigation was going to take a good part of the morning and I knew to be prepared for questioning. But how was I to begin to investigate things of an individual I hardly knew? Other than the basics and the acquaintance at med pass, He was just another face to me. Hell, even when assessing his lifeless body, I didn't recognize the man. I had seen so many faces come and go through detox in the last 8 months I wouldn't be able to tell jim from jane. It was taught all the same to me. You treated the condition, not the person, up until then at least. As I went through the motions of the day my whole perspective changed. This was someone's son, someone's brother, maybe a child's father. There was a family out there who was now grieving loss of a loved one. That was when I realized I wouldn't be another stereotypical nurse. A condition differed from person to person, and I was going to treat this as such. I would dedicate my career into knowing each and every person I encountered and allow them to impact my way of thinking just as I had hoped to enlighten theirs. This day made me the nurse I strive to be til this day, knowing that dedication has no limits.