Deviant Plum

Memes & Monsters & Some Mild Spice You may know me from such Facebook Pages as: Millennial Memes for Existential Extremes or Deviant Memes for Consensual Fiends (they/them 30+) Find me all over the interwebs: https://linktr.ee/millennial.plum

[deviantplum]

If The Cat in the Hat ever teamed up with Bugs Bunny they would be an unstoppable force, ushering in the Wackiest Apocalypse ever.

And yes, I am 'shipping them.

[deviantplum]

What shall we do with an Eldritch horror

What shall we do with an Eldritch horror

What shall we do with an Eldritch horror

Tentacles all flailing

R'lyeh and up he rises

R'lyeh and up he rises

R'lyeh and up he rises

Tentacles all flailing

Praise his Madness in the waking nightmare

Praise his Madness in the waking nightmare

Praise his Madness in the waking nightmare

Tentacles all flailing

[deviantplum]

Greetings Humans, local Sea Witch here! The Ocean™ has sent me as its representative to request more sacrifices.

If you can lure some more billionaires into an expired carbon rod submersible or something we're willing to make it worth your while!

I will transmute you into the sea creature of your choosing! Think about it. No more knee caps or sacroiliac joints! It's an incredible opportunity and we look forward to your participation!

[deviantplum]

Patreon

[deviantplum]

Greetings Humans, local Sea Witch here! The Ocean™ has sent me as its representative to request more sacrifices.

If you can lure some more billionaires into an expired carbon rod submersible or something we're willing to make it worth your while!

I will transmute you into the sea creature of your choosing! Think about it. No more knee caps or sacroiliac joints! It's an incredible opportunity and we look forward to your participation!

[deviantplum]

I stare into The Void and The Void stares back. I give The Void a little wink and nod. The Void blushes a little bit. A trillion galaxies explode into existence as a result of this novel heat source.

The Void doesn't need me to coparent them though. Deities have a hands off relationship with the Universes they create. Like a sea turtle.

[deviantplum]

Me: You're so hot. I want to implant a life threatening parasite into your abdomen.

Him: Ok, I'm sorry. When you say it like that, I do understand how "I want to get you pregnant" is actually a threat not a compliment.

[deviantplum]

Topping is all fun and games until you realize it's actually kinda hard to find the hole in the dark.

[deviantplum]

Me: Come on, scream for me. I know you want to

Tea Kettle: [brattily refusing to boil while I watch]

[deviantplum]

Me: Please stop acting like this is all my fault! You are responsible for your actions too!

Him: [standing atop a mountain, overlooking a ruined city] Ok, I am willing to admit that I should not have said the words "I wish there wasn't all this traffic" in front of you, but I still think you're trying to shirk responsibility for tricking me into releasing you from your prison with the promise of three wishes to begin with.

Me: Come on man, I'm a genie. You knew the trope. That one is definitely still on you.

[deviantplum]

Hey baby, are you a pumpkin patch? Because your gourds look haunted and threatening.

[deviantplum]

Someone took offense to me saying "Subs hold the real power in a scene" the other day, so let's break down what this means and why we say it.

What it does not mean: "Doms are powerless in a scene." Everyone involved in a scene has the power to stop it at any time, for any reason.

But the reason we say that Subs hold the real power, is because in a power exchange, 100% of the power being given away belongs to the Sub.

This phrase is a reminder that Subs actually retain that power the whole time. It's a reminder that this is a fantasy and the power they're "giving away" always actually belongs to them.

And it's an important framing, because the person giving up power in a power exchange is the one at the highest risk of actual harm. That's why we center the fact that the power they are giving away is actually still theirs the whole time.

[deviantplum]

The Plague Wizard sends their regards to Lindsey Graham

[deviantplum]

You really can offer people everything you have, and they'll still betray you. You can literally promise someone the world and they'll just turn around and smash the cursed mirror you were trying to lure them into instead of releasing you.

It hurts, but you just have to move forward and find a new mirror to curse. You can't let them dull your sparkle. You need it to lure new victims.

[deviantplum]

Me: Instead of fireworks what if we just stay in bed, and I'll make something else explode.

[later]

Me: I don't understand why you're mad, I feel like I was really clear with my intentions.

Him: [standing over the smoking ruins of his bed] I think you know that you were not.

[deviantplum]

[holding back tears] No, wait, you don't understand! I'm a Top!! Not a Dom!

I can perform The Maneuver™ but please do not expect me to be "in control" of anything.

[deviantplum]

Listen, it's actually too hot to burrow inside your ribcage right now. So could you please just take it out and put it in a cool dry place so I can crawl into it & lay my eggs without getting heat stroke?

[deviantplum]

All bodies are good bodies! Sure it's typical for people to have a secret stomach-mouth with razor sharp teeth, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you for not having one.

Your stomach is still full of acid, and that's pretty cool too! Don't undervalue your own attributes!

[deviantplum]

There's no one right way to have a body!

But give Science™ some time, and if you actually want them, you could get the teeth too.