Everyone has a point where they break.
A point where things just get too hard to do alone. The world too heavy, their heart too lonely, their bones too bruised to keep themselves together. Ana, for so much of her life, has prided herself on her ability to continue past that point. To keep a stiff lip, to pack her insecurities down into a too-small box, to occasionally cry, short wild and angry, and then gather her stubbornness and move forwards.
It was only a matter of time before she broke in a way that she couldn’t fix.
As it turns out, that way is two, deep puncture wounds, dealt by a cruel knife just below her ribs. She doesn’t know how she hasn’t bled out. Maybe it’s that same stubbornness. It certainly keeps her mouth pressed together so tight, the skin surrounding it is bloodless. There’s a bloodstain on a wall near her, fresh and painted in the print of her hand, where she had stumbled against it and then crumpled to the floor. Her mind had argued that slipping to the floor would be easier, lessening the frustration of falling by reasoning that it was better for her to be there. Less stress on her, if she wasn’t standing. She could figure out what to do next, how to staunch the bloodflow, if her head wasn’t spinning.
Danny doesn’t seem to agree with her tentative decision to stay on the ground. And what a godsend he is. Appearing before her like an angel, bulking form blocking out the light in a way that briefly had her heart stop before she heard his voice. And then, all Ana knew was sweeping relief. Her ears feel like they’re beginning to stuff with cotton wool, but she listens to him, each word he says, nods and shakes her head where necessary. Tells him what happened, even though her words are strained and clipped. She doesn’t think she can stand, not right now, and winces through her teeth when she tries. It’s too much, to both try to cradle her wound, and plant a palm against the floor to get up. It slips out from her immediately.
It’s an easy decision, then, for him to lift her instead.
Danny checks in with her, one strong arm hooking under the bend of her knees, the other coming around to press against her back. Ana knows it’s going to hurt. Knows that they need to go, too — that their hunters could find them at any given moment. And, already, part of her mind is berating her for becoming a burden. Danny can’t protect them both while holding her. Can’t achieve much, like this – not unless his sole goal has become carrying her, and part of her wants to cry that she isn’t worth it. That it’s her own fault she’s here. Her own fault if she bleeds out, after doing what she did. She’s useless now, isn’t she? How can she help anyone if she can’t fight back?
Dark eyes meet hers, checking in again, Danny still the solid, sturdy figure he’s always been in her life. He grounds her now, more than ever. Ana nods, the motion of it tight and uncomfortable, hooks one arm around his shoulder. She sums up all the tight-lipped, stubborn courage she can find in her body, and wills herself not to cry out, to hold herself together as much as she can.
It can’t stop her from whimpering when he lifts her up.
Both her arms tense, her other hand clamped right under her ribs, and Ana’s expression cracks from the pain. Fingers tense, spasm, painted by her own blood, the material surrounding them a deep dark red. It hurts, she thinks, and twin tears bead at her eyes at the thought.
She’s never felt so scared. So desperate, for the company of a group that she barely knows. Ana doesn’t want to do this alone, not any longer - regrets thinking she could take on any of that family that way. Regrets having that attitude for all of her life. That man had seen her and her bravado coming, and stuck her like a pig, and now she was going to be a hindrance to everyone.
“It hurts,” she manages. Voice quiet, with tears barely held back as she attempts to hide against him. Body curling upwards, gaze retreating in shame to his shoulder. “It really hurts. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I should have never – I was so stupid–”
jbbartram-illu
2087
origamiaround
dededos
germansingergirl
turnnoffyourmind
