Do you think it was hypocritical of Elain to tell Nesta that she makes her trauma (Elain’s) about herself, when Elain is actively doing the same thing in ACOSF?
I do! I really disliked the argument that Elain and Nesta have, because I think it was a misstep on the writing of Elain's character. Elain's first interaction with Nesta after she's locked in the HoW and all her apperences thereafter bother me--like truly bother me. Like, Elain initiates the conversation by just...judging Nesta. And there's a clear distinction being made, by SJM herself, about the types of behaviors allowed when someone is going through trauma.
“I sat by your side for weeks,” Nesta said flatly. “Weeks, while you wasted away, refusing food and drink. While you appeared to hope you’d just wither and die.”
Elain flinched. But Nesta couldn’t stop the words from pouring out. “No one suggested you either shape up or be shipped back to the human lands.” Elain, surprisingly, held her ground.
“I wasn’t drinking myself into oblivion and—and doing those other things.”
“Fucking strangers?”
And it was...a really ugly passage because Nesta did stay by Elain's side, even when Elain was half-mad when Feyre wanted to through Elain back to the wolves and have her sell her emotional trauma to the High Lords. But the more pressing problem is that Elain directly reiterates that there's a problem with how Nesta deals with trauma, with the actual behaviors. Nesta is right. There was never a timetable put on Elain...and her behaviors were just as harmful. There is never an ultimatum, judgment. Everyone pities and coddles her. The environment is all there, and it's warm and helpful. And then we get the infamous Elain is Elain line, which??? Elain's daintiness and 'beautiful madness' are okay and acceptable, but Nesta's sex life is 'punishable,' -- and when it comes down to it, that's what Elain's dialogue here is suggesting. Nesta had to worry about Elain...she literally clocked all the way out. If anything, Nesta had to take into account Elain's trauma, because, in the end, she's the one having to do the emotional labor to help Elain out of it. She's the one who has to deal with the emotional consequence of what happens to both of them. Feyre is able to run away back to Rhys's arms and shove Elain away back onto Nesta in WAR. It's not Feyre who has to sit with Elain, to force the broth down her throat, who has to discern whether Elain is mad or not (and I'm not in any way saying that Feyre has to do these things, atp, I understand that Feyre's the HL and she's doing thingsTM. But she's also not the one who has to deal with Elain's emotional trauma). It's a fair assessment, at least partially, for Nesta to feel annoyed with how Elain suddenly clings to Feyre, bc, Nesta again is the one that has to deal with Elain's trauma when everyone else just kind of shoves her away for half of WAR and until they remember her so that can just use her.
And Elain just continues to play coy about the reasons Nesta is angry with her:
“Elain cocked her head. Didn’t dissolve into the crying mess she usually became when Graysen came up. Instead, she said, “You’re angry with me.”
Fine, then. She could be direct, too. Nesta shot back, “For packing my things while Rhysand and Feyre told me I’m a worthless pile of shit? Yes.”
Elain crossed her arms and said calmly, sadly, “Feyre warned me this might happen.”
The words struck Nesta like a slap. They’d spoken of her, her behavior, her attitude. Elain and Feyre—that was the new status of things. The bond Elain had chosen.”
And it's like...I don't really see the effort Elain has supposedly put into 'helping' Nesta. We don't tangibly see this effort. There's one thing to say 'oh, Nesta pushing me away,' but I feel like it's another thing entirely when we see that the obvious reason Nesta doesn't disclose anything to Elain is that...she's not a good listener, and she's extremely judgmental. There isn't--at all--the same level of fervor that Nesta has for Elain. That we've witnessed, in the text. When Nesta believes Feyre is wrong to throw both she and Elain into the eyes of Prythian, she rightfully fights on Elain's behalf. But like....when the same conversations are being had about Nesta, Elain caves, because Feyre appeals to her 'values,' which all lead to the very big thing that Elain is honestly saying: that she views Nesta as an embarrassment.
The bigger problem at hand isn't even the argument, honestly. It's that the story...agrees with Elain, that most of these words coming from Elain's mouth are more SJM than Elain. Elain, the IC, the narrative--they all believe that Nesta is an embarrassment.
For example: if Feyre and Elain had told Nesta that she was an embarrassment, but then, the story gave us scenes that reiterated that it wasn't true, then I would not complain about the argument bc it's fine for Elain and Feyre to have problems and arguments with Nesta...they're sisters. The problem is that the story isn't interested in proving that Elain and Feyre don't actually mean the stupid shit they say. It's actually interested in proving that Rhys, Am, Feyre and Elain's words are right all along.
I'm def not reading the next book bc cc2 permanently reiterated that SJM is not interested in coherence. But hopefully, this gets cleared up in Elain's POV. I don't think this makes Elain a villain. I just think it can either be the beginning of a great character arc for Elain or just set her into a Feyre 2.0, one who doesn't have real flaws except for the ones the story views as endearing.
