Narcissa

Narcissa 'Cissa' Mafloy. Potioneer. 

[thelovejournals]

‘I’m your girl,’ she said in the dark. ‘Your girl. No matter what I’m always your girl.’

Ernest Hemingway, The Garden Of Eden (via thelovejournals)

@lxcius

[fallcarrington]

[aishwaryaaraiii]

Teuta Matoshi Duriqi

[fyeahnaley]

[nxrcissamxlfxy]

@lxcius

[movie-gifs]

Gone With The Wind (1939) dir.Victor Fleming 

[nxrcissamxlfxy]

@lxcius

[dailyothgifs]

[nxrcissamxlfxy]

@lxcius

[rpmusings-galore]

                                                in all these years 

                                       your arms are the only place

                                  that have ever felt like a   [ h o m e ] 

[nxrcissamxlfxy]

@lxcius

[accio-avatars]

[sunflowerinspo]

There’s a part of me that’s a part of you What was colors and blues Fade under layers of new But I’m not sure if I want it to

[nxrcissamxlfxy]

@lxcius

[nxrcissamxlfxy]

mundungs​:

He downs the glass of water, ignores how it swirls sickeningly in his stomach, ignores how the hangover presses down on his head. Mundungus tries to focus on Dorcas, and not just on how pretty she dares to look still, despite their long night, and how it had felt like home, in her arms, if only for a moment. 

He’s not one to think about the future, in all truth. Partly because he simply doesn’t expect that he’ll live long enough to see it –– he can see his dead in front of him, on bad days. A bottle in his hand and no one to save him, no Athena Wood around this time to rush him to the hospital. And then there’s the war, too, of course, the threat of death hanging above his and all his fellow Order member’s head like an unwavering hammer. Mundungus doesn’t think about the future, because it’s scary to commit, easier to say oh, well, what’s the use when I’m bound to be dead before thirty? than work for a life worth living.

Dorcas might be, though. “Nah. I don’t think I fuckin’ can, Dor.” He rubs at his temples. “Been shit enough, these past years. Pretending you didn’t break my heart.” He doesn’t mean it to sound like an accusation, especially because he knows he’s hurt the other plenty, too. “Sorry. I dunno, there’s clearly something happening here.” Mundungus bites his tongue, sighs a little. He wants to tell her that there’s still something there, at least from his side, but he’s always been a coward. “Can’t ignore it.”

--

Dorcas honestly didn’t know what she would do if he did want to forget it. Dorcas was so in love with him. The feelings had never gone away. If anything the feelings had only gotten stronger. If he wanted to pretend things hadn’t happened, then she really didn’t know what she would do. She knew it was her own fault. That she’d broken his heart in the first place. But she knew it would suck if he broke her heart too.

She bit her lip, and twisted a strand of her messy, bed head, hair around her finger. She was nervous. She was quiet as she just stood there. She was going to give him chance to say his piece. And if he walked out. If he didn’t want them. Then she would just let it be. It would hurt so much. But she’d rather be hurt, then making him doing anything she didn’t want to do. “Dung....” She murmured, suddenly moving over to where he was. This made her feel hopeful, even if it did hurt her heart. She hated herself for hurting him so much.

“I’m sorry.....” She murmured quietly, pulling one of his hands away from his temple, and threading her fingers through his. It always felt so right when she was holding onto his hands. He grounded her so much. “I’m sorry I hurt you.... I’m such a fucking mess” She was. She’d pulled way, and pushed away the man that meant everything to her. She’d messed up one of the only good things in her life. And she didn’t know if she could fix it. She sighed, taking a step closer, and just resting her forehead against his shoulder.

“I still love you. I love you so fucking much.”

[nxrcissamxlfxy]

mundungs​:

“Right, cheers,” he says, taking the glass of water. After sipping it, he clears his throat. The air is tense with unsaid things, and Mundungus nearly squirms where he stands at the thought of it all. When faced with the options fight or flight, he almost always chooses the latter, and while this situation isn’t life-or-death, he feels inclined to pick it again. In stead of running, he remains stagnant though. 

Dorcas makes him want to be a better person. He makes her want to be someone who might stick around, and start a conversation, and be decisive and dedicated and what she deserves. Because she deserves better, that much is clear to him. She deserves someone with consistency, someone who can love her without feeling fear, without feeling the need to run every time it gets a little serious. Someone who doesn’t think of hope or love as dreadful things, but something wonderful in stead.

He’ll try, he decides. “So, er. We should talk about last night, yeah?” He doesn’t sound wholly convinced. He drains the glass, places it on the counter, looks at Dorcas. Something in him seems to stir, unsure, petrified. What if she breaks his heart again? Says it was a mistake? Perhaps it’s better to have some control over this potential disaster, and so he adds, “Unless you just wanna pretend it didn’t happen.”

---

Dorcas just smiled at him. She really had no idea how this was going to go. She knew not to really take it as a good thing that he was staying. He could be staying because he felt he needed too. Or, was just waiting to run. Dorcas wasn’t letting herself build her hopes up. She knew she had no reason to moan about getting hurt, but she was worried about getting hurt. She and Dung had such a bad habit of hurting each other. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him, but she really did not want to get hurt either.

“Yeah....” She murmured, picking up her coffee, and heading out of her kitchen and over to the lounge. She wanted to be comfortable for this chat. She had no idea how it was going to go. But, they did need to talk about last night. They needed to clear the air, even if it didn’t work out the way she was hoping. But Dorcas was just hoping, just a little bit, that it would work out in a positive way. Mundungus made her happy, and she just wanted them both of be happy.

She sat down, and sighed, biting her lip. She was thinking carefully about what seh was saying. She wanted to be careful. Their was so much emotion between them, and she didn’t want to ruin anything. “I never want to pretend anything with you Mundungus.....” She murmured quietly, looking up at him. She was quiet for a few more moments. “Do you..... wanna pretend it didn’t happen?”

[nxrcissamxlfxy]

mundungs​:

Oh. She made him coffee. He supposed that was a sign she didn’t intend to kick him out of the door first chance she got. Mundungus didn’t feel particularly comforted by the idea. It would be easier, he thought, in the long run, if she just forced him out the door, shoes in hand, hair a mess. It would be easier if this night ended in a small heartbreak, rather than give both of them hope. 

Mundungus hated hope. It always led to sour disappointment. He supposed it was why he had a tendency to ruin anything good that came onto his path, because it was easier to deal with the guilt of ruining something, than the heartbreak of it being ruined by something out of his control. He looked at the coffee mug. One instinct told him to grab it and to stay here with Dorcas, bake her some eggs and smile all morning. Another begged him to leave it standing in the kitchen and go, go, go. 

“I don’t like coffee.” That wasn’t a lie, per se. He stood there, frozen, caught between instincts. Run or stay. Mundungus looked at Dorcas and he saw so much opportunity –– so much he’d never had, he’d never think he’d ever had. Something solid, something real, something stable, if he tried, if he committed. But fear was his biggest enemy, his greatest downfall, and the way she made him feel made him feel absolutely petrified. And yet, he couldn’t get himself to run just yet, with how she looked in the morning light. He’d stay a bit longer, he decided. “Water, though, might be nice.”

---

There were about ten thousand thoughts going through her head, and her head was already killing her. She honestly just wanted to crawl back into bed and sleep the day away. But she knew that wouldn’t fix things. They were a mess and they had to fix things. Or at least talk about things. She didn’t know if it would help. But they really couldn’t go on like this. She sipped at her coffee, and just prayed her head would get at least a little better. She didn’t know if she could even talk serious things right now, not with her head banging.

She bit her lip, feeling disappointed when he didn’t want the coffee. Did he not want to say? She actually had half been expecting him to just walk through straight out the door. She wouldn’t have blamed him. She’d hurt him so much. But she knew it would hurt to watch him go. To watch him walk back through that door again. She was being selfish, but she really didn’t want him to go.

“Oh....” She should’ve known that he didn’t like coffee. She’d been with him for two years. But she would just blame it on the hang over. “Okay....” She murmured, finding a glass, and filling it with some water from the sink. “Here....” She murmured, biting her lip, as she held out the glass to him. One word answers weren’t good, but for once, Dorcas had no idea what to say

[nxrcissamxlfxy]

mundungs​:

Whatever doubts Mundungus might be feeling were being diminished as Dorcas laughed. It was so easy to remember how he’d once fallen for her ( that he was still in fact fallen for her, was something he was slowly starting to accept ) when she laughed. There were many things about Dorcas that appealed to him – many things that he loved – but perhaps that was what attracted him to her most. That laugh.

“Money tends to make people …” He thought for a moment, and then concluded his statement without any eloquence. “Stupid.” Dung glanced at Melaina Nott, impressed with her dress, though not necessarily in a good way. He let out a huff of air, then, both amused and indignant. “Never, ever, in my entire life, have I been cocky.” And any time he might’ve come across as such, was a lie anyway. Mundungus’ self worth was close to nothing, in truth: maybe that was why he and Dorcas would never work. How could he live with someone loving him, after all, when he thought so low of himself? “Absolutely am, that mustache of him just does it for me.” He was joking, of course, that much was clear. “Sorry, babes. I just love me a walrus-like man. grow a mustache, and I might return to ye.”

----

Whilst Dorcas knew this was probably going to end up being a bad decision, right now she really didn’t care. Some of her best memories ove rthe last few years had been when she was around Mundungus. Sure, there had been some terrible times too, times of sadness and times of heart break. But Dorcas was getting tired of letting the bad out weight the good. She wanted to be happy, and right now, being with Dung made her happy.

“It really does....” Whilst Dorcas was a pureblood herself, they hadn’t has as much money as some of the other families. It meant that she could laugh at the waste of money some of these purebloods spent. “I’m sure a thousand families could be fed for the ocst o fher dress” She mused with a laugh. She really didn’t get the spending of unncessary money. She just rasied an eyebrow at him. “Right dear.... you keep believing that” She mused, shaking her head. Dung just made her laugh, and she loved being around him. She just raised an eyebrow, stepping a little closer to him. Luckily, due to her ears, she was a little closer to his height. “Don’t think he’s as good in bed as I am babe” She teased, lingering close. She kissed his cheek, before pulling back and grinning at him “Want to go dance?”

[nxrcissamxlfxy]

mundungs​:

On Mundungus’ never ending list of mistakes, this was most likely one of the bigger ones. Dorcas Meadowes had broken his heart before, and he had no doubt about it that she could do it again, even if she didn’t want to. And Mundungus, well, did not tend to cope well with broken hearts. Besides, the risk that he would break hers was ever-present too, and he wasn’t interested in doing such damage, either.

If there was one thing he was good at, though, it was denial. And so, he focused easily on his surroundings, on his date, as if this wasn’t all a recipe for disaster. Mundungus looked at Dorcas with a nearly offended expression. “Yer the one who showed up much too fancy,” he said, chuckling a little as he laced his arm with hers. To be this close to her felt familiar in a good way, something Mundungus didn’t often experience. “Yer right though, we look absolutely stunning. Gonna blow old Sluggy away. D’you reckon his brother is here?” 

---

The logical part of Dorcas brain was still telling her that this was a bad idea. That coming here with him was always going to lead to her making bad choices. But nothing seemed to have gone well since she had broken up with him the first place. She was beginning to wonder if that was the bad decision that had started them all off. But, she was having fun. She always did seem to have fun when she was around him. So she was going to put her worries to the back of her mind, and just enjoy the night.

Dorcas just laughed at his words and shook her head. “I mean.... I could have showed up in a bloody wedding dress like Melania Nott” She pointed out, motioning over the woman that was clearly very over dressed. “Some people have more money than sense” And that girl really did fall into that category. She smiled, turning her attention back to him. “Glad to know you’ve not lost your cockiness dear” She mused, teasing him. She shrugged at his next words. “No idea.... planning on ditching me for him are you?”

[nxrcissamxlfxy]

When they had agreed to come together they really should have actually chatted about what they were going to wear. Most people, when they went on a date to some fancy ball together, tried to at least match their outfits. Clearly, Dorcas and Mundungus were not most people, since they were very much clashing. It was like they were not even attending the same event, let alone going together.

“We look a right pair...” She murmured, a little grin as she looked at him. She still had no idea why she’d said yes. This was going to end in disaster, but she couldn’t help it. She couldn’t leep herself away from him. It was going to be her undoing. But right now she didn’t care.

“But we look hot. So..... that’s all that matters”

@mundungs​

[nxrcissamxlfxy]

mundungs​:

It wasn’t exactly rare for Mundungus to wake up like this, all foggy-brained and somewhat nauseous. He was very familiar to hangovers, but still: that morning it felt different. He couldn’t quite place why, but when his eyes adjusted to the brightness of daytime, he definitely could. The room was much too familiar, as was the fact that Dorcas was no longer in bed. Damn her, for waking up earlier than him: if she hadn’t, he could have just sneaked out, and pretended none of this ever happened. Mundungus had claimed spontaneous amnesia before, and would do it again.

That instinct to run away did not sit well with him, but this entire situation did not. He spent a fair few minutes in bed, trying to assess the situation, trying to once again answer why he was such a fucking idiot. Dorcas had broken his heart, and he hers in return. In all truth, he was scared of being left behind again. He was even scared to face Dorcas now, dread swirling in his stomach as he was certain that she would kick him out. Shit. He kicked the blankets off him, tried to find his t-shirt but found none, and made his way over to the kitchen. Mundungus squinted as he walked into the room, rubbing his temples. “Morning.” He stood at quite a distance from Dorcas, his mind filled with paranoid thoughts. Mundungus was at his worst when he was hungover, more prone to self-hatred and getting stuck on intrusive thoughts. He tried to focus on Dorcas, but could hardly meet her eye, afraid to be met with an angry or disgusted gaze. “Got a headache, too?”

---

Dorcas honestly really did not know what to think. As the kettle boiled, she sighed. This was a bad idea, even thinking of this was a bad idea. They’d both hurt each other so much in the past, but she just constantly found herself drawn back to him. She knew why, but she really did not want to admit it. Admitting it would mean she needed to do something about it, and she wasn’t ready to have her heart broken all over again. 

But she knew he made her feel good. She knew it was why she had let him come over last night. It had probably been a bad idea, but she really didn’t regret it. She knew she should, and she knew that she should be staying away from him. But she didn’t want too. It had taken her a long two years to process how she was feeling, and what she wanted. Two years should have been long enough to get over someone, but it was hard to get over someone when you didn’t want too. Dorcas still wanted to be with Mungdungus. She just hadn’t really wanted to admit it until now.

She’d just been pouring milk into the two coffees as she heard him. She glanced over her shoulder, her eyes betraying her, and flitting down to look over his shirtless chest. Damn him, and how he made her feel. “Hi....” She murmured quietly, biting on her lip as she looked at him. “I made you a coffee....” She literally had no idea what to say. How did you begin to apologise for breaking someone’s heart?

[nxrcissamxlfxy]

Dorcas could barely remember the night before, and her head was pounding. Had she really drunk that much? She was sure she hadn’t, but clearly she’d had more than intended. She didn’t even have a clue what time it was. She could feel someone’s arms wrapped around her, and she groaned, wondering what random person she’d brought back to her her flat last night. That was when the events of the night before crashed down on her. It wasn’t a random guy she had brought home. It was Mundungus. He was probably the one guy she shouldn’t have brought home, but for some reason, she didn’t really regret it.

She rolled over in his arms. He was still asleep, and for a moment she could pretend that everything was okay. That she hadn’t broke his heart, that she hadn’t broke hers, and there wasn’t a war going on. But she couldn’t pretend. There was a war going on, and this was still so dangerous. Carefully, trying not to wake him, she slipped out of his arms, and out of bed. She wrapped her dressing gown around herself, and padded into the kitchen. She needed to make coffee, and hopefully get a cup down her throat before he woke up.

She needed to be able to process things properly before she could even begin to work out what they did next.

@mundungs​