༺ Welcome To My Twisted FairyTale ༻

[kuvaton]

[unclefather]

kiss me hard before you go

[ltc-kilgore-deactivated20181027]

[pomeranian2]

[dannyuta]

[tonightweredrinkingfromthebong]

thank god he is still with us

[meggtalgearsalad]

[squirreledelman]

This is what is getting me through the rest of this week….. 😂

[badgyal-k-deactivated20190901]

Uncle Joe is not here for the fuckery

[shesheistyy-deactivated20250330]

These are my favorite

[onlytwitterpics]

[civilwhore]

[vanwizard]

“man ur such a pussy” a jock says to me. i laugh. “well,” i begin, looking up at him and popping the collar of my jean jacket, “like they say,” everyone waits in anticipation, “u are what u eat.” the jock dies instantly, the crowd cheers, obama is there,

[captainedbypalliddata]

It’s true I was the jean jacket

[tomhordy]

me when a dog gets left behind in a disaster movie

[kittiezandtittiez]

[knitmeapony]

This makes me laugh so hard EVERYTIME

[drivefasterboy-deactivated20151]

I almost sent this to the chair of my department once.

[noisier-deactivated20180820]

*showers to avoid responsibilities*

[gotitforcheap-deactivated201611]

person: I hate small talk. I wanna talk about death, aliens, sex, what life means and why we are here

me: listen man, you gonna buy these shoes or nah? cause I gotta close up in about 10 minutes 

[cursedimages]

[brucebocchi]

a weapon to surpass metal gear

[unclefather]

do you want to try prime

[snirts-deactivated20170315]

hi i’d like to start a discourse?

the degenerates who put their dishes in the dishwasher without scrubbing off the crusty shit are disgusting and untrustworthy and i am never eating at your house 

[fullmetalwindbreaker]

yeah lemme just Wash my Dishes before i put them in the DishWasher that makes sense

[saints-row-2]

if you don’t clean off the real bad crusty bits the dishwasher can’t clean em right its a collaborative effort

[fullmetalwindbreaker]

fuck outta here wwith your weak ass dishwasher 

[saints-row-2]

oh check mr fancy here and his fukkin power washer better be careful that thing doesn’t blast the decorations off your fukkin china if its so good

[botanize]