IT WAS DIFFICULT TO SWALLOW THE hurt and shame that flared through her as his words hit her at the core. holding back her emotions and closing herself off from them was something seraphena practiced almost exclusively over the last few weeks and it still never completely shielded her from nyktos’s power (much to her constant frustration). it had nothing to do with anything except that she didn’t want nyktos to know how much the things he says affects her.
emerald eyes didn’t stray from his face as he continued speaking and exasperation soon joined the cocktail of emotions flowing through her. nyktos constantly brought up her lack of regard for thinking, when it wasn’t entirely true; she thought some things through but prioritizing the value of her life was not a concept that she was familiar with so it often didn’t cross her mind.
it wasn’t until his last words caught her attention that a laugh bubbled past pink lips, the sound hollow and short as she shakes her head, gem-colored hues focusing on the linens of the bed instead of his face. “don’t lie nyktos, it’s an insult to us both.” weeks later and saying the name still inflicts a pang of hurt in her chest. that’s who he was to her now. gone was ash and the ease of conversations between them. in his place, was nyktos, the primal of death and tension that clouds all of their current interactions. “we’re not playing this game today, losing me will not break you, i’ll never weaken you remember?” perhaps she should have stopped there, but sera was tired of the up and downs, “i’m only alive due to the ember of life inside me, let us not sit here and act like you care about me when you’ve made it clear several times over THAT YOU DON’T.”
oh , how he ached to forgive her. it would be so easy for him to sink into the warmth she provided and just… be. quite some time had passed since the revelation of her betrayal, yet still the pain of it lingered in his chest. a sharp, twisting pain that was almost too similar to the sensation of her blade sinking into his heart. the feelings he'd harbored were shattered, shards scattered across the shadowlands. her betrayal had broken his heart, as well as his trust. the walls he'd built between them were fragile, and often she pushed through the cracks. tender moments shared, yet punctuated by this same strange iciness. there had to be a balance, one where he could allow himself to get to know her… to truly know her, without worsening the ache in his chest.
her words wash away regret like the morning tide washes away the sins of the night, stirring a wave of emotions that crash over him too suddenly. his feelings were always like this, overwhelming and all-encompassing. they washed his thoughts away, and lit a spark in his chest. smoke-coloured eather drifts upwards, pooling within misty hues. his muscles tense again, from his shoulders all the way down to the curl of his fists. ❝ how dare you presume to know how i feel, ❞ he grits out, words dripping with the same ire they'd carried moments before. he didn't like this — talking to her like this… feeling like this around her… but she brought out a side of him that he'd never truly explored before. she drove him crazy. ❝ fuck, maybe you're lacking even more sense than i thought. let me assure you of one thing, seraphena, i would never waste my time lying to you. ❞
