nyla

messy girl blog🥀 i don’t know what i’m doing

[nylasdepressed]

update on hope,

i think i moved on, bro. i’m currently talking with a guy named Atticus

[laytusk]

[nylasdepressed]

maybe he knew me he wouldn’t think i was weird

[nylasdepressed]

being rejected hits harder than a break up

[nylasdepressed]

i need laxatives, i don’t know another way to loose weight this comfy

[stardollly]

[nylasdepressed]

I’ve eaten a ton of trash today i threw up the quarter of it, how am i supposed to get rid of the other 3 quarters?

[nylasdepressed]

i don’t think i get the purpose of blogging, someone has to teach me

[nylasdepressed]

i’m out of my mind

[nylasdepressed]

bro i think hope’s ‘girl besties’ told him to stop talking to me. so i gotta give you guys some info about his friend group, they’re a group of four, two girls two boys, hope, carmen, demi and tyler. today i complimented carmens perfume and she made a face like she’s annoyed or like she doesn’t really likes me. i think on wednesday when tyler saw me and hope talking he told carmen and demi, and carmen got mad and told him to stop talking to me. why do i think that he did that just because she told him to? because he still looks at me like he’s gonna eat me bro. i’m confused and i can’t stop thinking about it

[nylasdepressed]

can someone please put a fucking bullet in my head because i’m too overwhelmed with my own mistakes

[nylasdepressed]

i don’t think i have a purpose

[nylasdepressed]

guess what hope and i were talking for two days and today we talked face to face for the first time. after school i went to the library with ellie we “studied” and while we were there i texted hope. i said what’s up, pretty normal. then we hit me with i don’t wanna talk anymore. ellie said he couldn’t get over his ex. i don’t know, i think it’s me. probably my appearance. i mean i’m pretty but i’m overweight. i don’t know. if he wasn’t going to do this why did he said that he thought i was pretty? i’m kinda depressed bro. i feel bad for myself

[nylasdepressed]

well, it’s been three days and i have to study for my exams right now but here i am, writing about sum bullshit happening in my life. so, friday wasn’t actually that bad. i went to my besties house and we didn’t really do anything just smoked and ate and scrolled through tiktok and chilled. saturday, we had to go to school bc we had a test, i made eye contact with my crush like three times, i’m gonna call him hope because his name is hope in turkish. it was really windy though, the wall of the garden broke(?) because of it. anyways, after the test we went to the mall with my bestie. we got like the photobooth poloroids(?). i bought a body lotion to layer with my perfume and guess what happened to it today. it’s pump broke. i crashed the fuck out because of that. and a couple of hours ago, i texted my bestie if i should text hope. because we don’t really speak we just stare at each other at school. she said yeah go text him. i don’t have the balls to make that move though, so asked my other bestie from middle school, i’m gonna call her irena, if should i text him again, and she said, it’s your choice, i told her to give me a solid answer, she said yes. then i asked chatgpt and she (i genuinely think that chatgpt’s pronouns are she/her) said yes too. but i didn’t text him. because i’m afraid to get humiliated. then we talked about some concerts with my bestie, let’s call her ellie, we’re thinking about going to one. btw kanye is coming to my country but i can’t afford a ticket, literally so sad

[nylasdepressed]

my turkish ahh going broke this week🥀

[nylasdepressed]

i don’t know what to say rn but i think i really need some hobbies. i’m literally lifeless at this point because i have 8 hours of sleep 8 hours of school and 8 hours of screen time and repeat. so i was looking for some cool hobbies to have and i saw some girl saying that blogging is cool and i had this acc and i’ve been meaning to try to post smt but i was too busy scrolling tiktok. i’ve been journaling and translating sht for almost two hours now, i guess my favorite is translating. anyways i guess i gotta introduce myself. i’m a fifteen year old high school student from Türkiye🇹🇷 and I can speak english as you can see but i want to make it into my career, i’m gonna study language bro. uhh, i don’t have many hobbies that i can tell you about its why i’m here. I’m gonna tell you what happened today. So I went to school, smoked a cig before class, went in to the school, my bestie wasn’t there, i called her, her phone’s on do not disturb, texted her no answer. she didn’t come. and I was too overstimulated to spend the day in that zoo without my favorite monkey. so i decided to fake a nausea and go home. i went home it was peaceful for a few hours then my mother came home, we had this tiny fight about me not caring about my future or something. so i started doing homework just to make her stfu. then i got bored and started planning the next two weeks ( i have exams next two weeks) then i realized i wasn’t really going to study and i didn’t want to just scroll through my phone so i started looking for hobbies. i’m not really an active girly and i don’t know how people enjoy movement which isn’t dancing, swimming, walking or tennis. i really hate volleyball btw. anyways, i looked a lot of videos about hobbies and i found sone stuff i used to do as a 10 year old. like scrapbooking. anyways i started to writing things down first, then journaled a bit, i found a text to translate and translated that. i bought a lego set, one my favorites but expensive. while i was buying the lego set i thought i used to love stationary stuff n collecting things so i bought two of some blind bags i used to collect. i found the one i wanted tho.