Meido Mode [@Noiz]
"… Call him Voldemort one more time, and I’ll burn off those quirky little eyebrows of yours, bitch boy."
Hiroomi snorted at that, this eyebrow-less fiend was clearly jealous of his luxuriant forehead.
"Quirky little eyebrows? As opposed to your bald-ass fod?!" Is what he would have said, had their dual waifus not suddenly materialised, bringing with them gifts from the far and mysterious kingdom of the kitchen that those bitches belonged in.
He was too distracted by the delicacies piled up on his tray and the cute smile on his pony-tailed maid’s face to put forth a formal complaint as he would have normally done after such a wait - it was really knucked up how these girls could distract you into letting them walk all over you.
He scowled at Noiz’s oversized rice and dessert orgy, like hell this scrawny ratboy was gonna finish all that.
"Thank you." He said to the two girls, not even noticing that they’d been gone for like 3 minutes while he’d stared at his harem of sweets, blushing a little as his eyes danced over Gendo Ikari’s chocolatey visage. Ah, it was painful to even consider eating his sexy beard.
But he did it anyway. That’s just the kind of man Hiroomi was.
"Ikaridakimasu." The half-assed pun tumbled out of Hiroomi’s mouth and by the time he could have regretted it he’d stuffed the gendolicious fantasy into his gob and had rendered his tastebuds immobilised with what could only be described as some kind of mouth boner.
A mouth boner that wilted immediately when he acknowledged Noiz shoving ketchuppy rice down his throat with the happiest expression Hiroomi had ever seen the guy don.
"Eugh, don’t talk with your mouth full." He snapped once he’d swallowed his food. "It’s delicious. I don’t think I need to ask your opinion on it do I? You gross little man."
Noiz immediately stopped eating. What an Elf!
"Little man?" Noiz pointed his fork in Hiroomi's face, with a matronly glare on his food-stained face.
"Watch it, 'cuz when I finally fart on your pathetic ass, you'll shrivel up like the pathetic bitch boy you are." Yeah, that's right. This nerd was Bound 2 to get Clownd 2.
Just as suddenly as he stopped, Noiz began eating again. Despite it being mild, the curry still had a slight kick to it, making his nose run. Noiz munched away, completely at peace as snot dripped into his meal.
"You know, now that I'm really looking at you," Noiz said, putting his fork down for the first time in 11 years, "You kind of look like Hyuk... Fuck Hyuk." Honestly, who did Hyuk think he was? Hyuk made Noiz want to upchuck. Fuck a truck, Hyuk.
Noiz discretely scrutinized Hiroomi from across the table. How dare he eat so daintily, like he had some kind of reputation to keep up. What a phony asshole. Noiz could straight up fuck an umbilical cord from that little punk.
"Oi," Noiz sipped at his soda float, which had pretty much melted at this point. "Eat faster. Who do you think you are?"
