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Andulka
NASA
ojovivo
d e v o n
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
todays bird
roma★
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dirt enthusiast
Discoholic 🪩
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Claire Keane
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
KIROKAZE
JBB: An Artblog!
wallacepolsom
Xuebing Du
oozey mess
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@oarchiemyarchie
"I thought people were too busy shagging their own bloody neighbours to care who gets into whose pants. It’s ridiculous, it is. While I don’t put full blame on you lot, Archie, you could just choose not to print it, you know.”
Regardless, it's what those neighbors want to read about. Well, no, not if I want to keep my job. Cuffe does love his gossip - he practically doesn't post anything that doesn't have a bit.
"I’ve been saying it for years: the papers ought to keep out of people’s private lives. If it’s not a crime, it’s not the public’s problem.”
The only thing that gets written is what the people actually want to read about. You can't blame us just because the general population resembles your nosy neighbor peeking over the hedges.
Makes you look a bit like a scarecrow when you smile like that. But a fluffy scarecrow nonetheless. I’m afraid there’s no hope for you, Arnold.
It’s clear that you’ve never had a good coffee, then.
A fluffy scarecrow... That's certainly a new one. I'm not sure if that's worse than kicked puppy or not. Can you attempt to not make it sound like I'm dying when you say that.
I'm not much of a coffee drinker, to be honest. Makes me quite jittery.
Scout Valentine is a lousy lay.
...ew.
Occasionally.
Noted.
Anything else you'd like to tell the Prophet, Mr. Fawley?
Why? If they end up carved up and hanging in the dungeon of my castle, wouldn’t that be more news for you to write about?
Is that...something you'd like to do to them?
Yes, he is. And no, I don’t have difficulty apologizing for anything.
I'm slightly concerned for your teammates, but that's nothing new.
Does Fortescue count as a small animal? The bloody hell do I have to apologize for?
Is he an animal in your mind? Well, in general. Nothing comes to mind.
Only the first? And here I thought I would’ve made it down to at least the second item on that list already.
Have you attempted hurting any small animals? That's another one on the list. Are you incapable of apologizing? I could go on.
You know, I’m not even perturbed by that thought.
You know, they say that talking to yourself is one of the first signs of insanity.
You may want to stop looking so grumpy, then, it only highlights your puppy features.
Don’t you worry, I’ll make sure that it’s good coffee.
I'm not-- fine. Does smiling help with the puppy dog expressions or does it only hinder me?
I am worth more than the best of coffees.
That sounds exactly like something a lonely person would say. Don’t despair, most puppies don’t stay in the pound for long. Even the saddest of them are adopted eventually.
Whatever else, she does have a fair business sense. And the coffee here is horrid.
Any normal person would say they're not lonely. I'm not a puppy and I'm not in the pound.
I don't want to get sold for coffee.
Then you’d have the perfect excuse to get a dog and brighten your lonely existence. I’m only looking out for you. Your true nature must be revealed to the world, Wieland.
If you’re looking for warm soup and a motherly bosom, Knight’s office is much further down the hall. Careful, though, you might mistake it for a toilet.
I don't eve like dogs. Any my existence is not lonely.
No thank you. I'm quite certain the last time was in there, she was considering selling me for some imported coffee beans. And I prefer my bosoms non-motherly. I don't have a strong oedipal complex.
A puppy is technically a child, you know. A dog child. Is that what you’d like to be called?
Drink up.
....please don't. Please don't start calling me that, because you know everyone else will start calling me that, and then there'll be dog treats left in my office and I can't deal with that.
This is dreadful. Who drinks salted beverages that aren't soup?
Hard liquor is a vital part of any job that requires reading the stories written by you lot.
Here. Giving children alcohol is sanctioned by the Department of Intoxicating Substances, but I won’t tell them if you won’t.
Better than being called a puppy, I guess...
Oh that's...salty.
Post-hangover drinks really are the best kind. Bloody Mary?
I shouldn't be surprised that you're keeping vodka in your office. If you're making it, I guess... Not too much Tabasco though.
Yeah, but some have words instead of punches. Both hit, both hurt.
I guess it’s none of my business what you brew up anyway.
I can't agree with that - but to be quite honest, I've found being hit hurts more. I can fight back with words.
Not particularly, no.
