my annotations of Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Sáenz
aka notes from one ari (me) to another (aristotle mendoza)! *spoilers ahead*
- “The problem with my life was that it was someone else’s idea.” (3) i think about this every day. that bitch should have chosen a different egg. that bitch being my mother. (respectfully, and with love)
- ari complaining that “This was a rock station, damn it!” (6) immediately told me everything i needed to know abt him as a character
- ARI THE PSEUDO ONLY CHILD WITH THREE SIBLINGS. HE IS ME. I AM HIM. WE ARE WE.
- “‘Poetry,’ he said. ‘It won’t kill you.’ / ‘What if it does?…’” (29) that’s lowk the plot of Dead Poet’s Society
- dante feeling like a fake mexican is real fucking shit. me and dante, man. always somehow managing to do race wrong.
- ari doesn’t think of himself as a real person. dante does.
- “I wanted to tell him not to cry anymore, tell him that what those boys did to that bird didn’t matter. But I knew it did matter. It mattered to Dante.” (54) WHEN YOU SAW THE DEAD LITTLE BIRD YOU STARTED CRYINGGGGGG BUT YOU KNOW THE KILLER DOESNT UNDERSTANDDDD (i’ll probably make a ‘songs that remind me of…” post about moon song and this book at some point)
- “I wonder if he’d been as beautiful as Dante. And I wondered why I thought that.” (63)
- “The world isn’t ending, Ari.” (73) the amount of times it felt like this book was looking directly into my pupils with some of these lines. (plus, writing my own name in these annotations always makes it hurt a little extra)
- THE CHAIR DRAWING. TO BE LOVED IS TO BE SEEN.
- ari who was born a little too late. fml bro HE IS MEEEEE
- “‘I mean, when do we start feeling like the world belongs to us?’ / I wanted to tell him that the world would never belong to us. ‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘Tomorrow.’” (88)
- ARI WHO WANTS TO BE A POET, BUT THINKS THAT POETRY IS TOO BEAUTIFUL FOR HIM. MY TWIN.
- “You must let everything fall that wants to fall. -Karen Fiser” (109) mhm mhm mhm
- dante saying “‘And all because I’m an idiot, standing in the middle of the road trying to save a stupid bird.’” (117) versus ari thinking “But now he knew. That I was hard. And maybe that was okay. Maybe he could like the fact that I was hard just as I liked the fact that he wasn’t hard.” (55)
- “My father decided he would read everything that I read. Maybe that was our way of talking.” (141) me and my mom with movies and shows
- “‘I won’t hurt you.’ / You’ve already hurt me.” (141) this line hurts so good. i blame you for my love for you. especially when a few pages ago dante asked for forgiveness, and ari thought “Forgive you? For what, Dante? What is there to forgive?” (117) delectable.
- “Dante’s leaving in a week. I’m glad. I need a break from him… I don’t know if we will ever be friends again.” (149) Benjamin Sáenz is in my walls. i legit have these words written in journals from middle school.
- “I felt like the saddest boy in the universe. Summer had come and gone… And the world was ending.” (154) THE WORLD ISN’T ENDING, ARI!!!
- dante hanging out with the goth kids. i live.
- dante’s letters hurt me so fucking bad. i have written so many of those letters. practically bleeding onto paper in an effort to be seen.
- “She liked touching my face. She told me I was beautiful. No one has ever told me I was beautiful.” (176) ari thought he was beautiful before that girl ever did. reminds me of ellie’s “You belonged to me first.” in s1 ep8 of tlou.
- “I don’t need dante.” (185) maybe not. but it’s okay to want him.
- “I miss you. Can I say that? Or is there a rule?” (185) SHOOT ME!!! “I am not going to tell you I miss you anymore.” (186) SHOOT ME WITH A GUN!!!!!!
- be a poet ari!!! do it for us!!!!
- “You’re gay, vato, you know that?” (205) no. no he does not. that’s kinda the point.
- “I think I really loved him when I was a little boy. I think I really did. Maybe that’s why I felt sad and empty—because I’d missed him all my life.” (206) and “Throughout all of youth I was looking for you without knowing what I was looking for. - W. S. Merwin” (295) CRACK BABY YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU WANTTTTT BUT YOU KNOW THAT YOU HAD IT ONCE AND YOU KNOW THAT YOU WANT IT BACKKKKKK (this could def be another “songs that remind me of…” post)
- “But love was always something heavy for me. Something I had to carry.” (244) ARISTOTLE MENDOZA WE ARE ONE I STG
- “You do realize you’re talking, don’t you? I mean you’re really talking.” (247)
- “We were too old now. We’d lost something and we both knew it.” (249) it’s so much easier to express love before you realize that it’s love you are expressing. the plausible deniability of youth.
- “‘I have to tell them, Ari.’ / ‘Why?’” (252) because of the quintana “no secrets” rule
- their first kiss. oh god their first kiss.
- “I missed him more now that he was back than when he had been gone.” (259)
- “I don’t know what I would have done if he had touched me. But he didn’t.” (273) RAHHHHH
- “‘Do real Mexicans like to kiss boys?’ / ‘I don’t think liking boys is an American invention.’” (273) !!!!!!!! the association of queerness with whiteness as a way to invalidate lgbtqia+ people within their own community is bullshit. queer people are everywhere. we are EVERYWHERE
- “And sometimes, even now, I look at her and I want to ask, ‘Is it over? Is it?’” (283)
- “I decided that maybe we left each other alone too much. Leaving each other alone was killing us.” (283) waiting. waiting drives you craaaaazy. waiting driiives you craaazyyyy. (let down, radiohead)
- “I think we hurt you.” (286) SOMEBODY SEDATE MEEEEE
- “The summer was not meant for boys like me. Boys like me belonged to the rain.” (294) rain motif going ballistic
- the parallels between ari visiting dante in the hospital and dante visiting ari in the hospital “The day he came home from the hospital, he cried. I held him. I thought he would never stop. I knew that a part of him would never be the same.” (325)
- “‘Ari, Ari, Ari. You’re fighting this war in the worse possible way.’ / ‘I don’t know how else to fight it, Dad.’ / ‘You should ask for help,’ he said. / ‘I don’t know how to do that, either.’” (319) AHHHHHHHHHH
- “‘Not really,’ I said. ‘It’s against the rules.’ / ‘New rules,’ my mom said.” (345) NEW RULES NEW RULES NEW RULES
- the entire “you can’t run from dante” scene. the first time i read this book i was a junior in high school reconning with the fact that i had been in love with my best friend for years and refused to acknowledge or accept what was so blatantly obvious to everyone else in my life. and more than that, i was reconning with the fact that she loved me back. and she knew that she loved me, and i was so busy avoiding it that i never let myself have it. is this sounding familiar? do i have to say it again? (aristotle mendoza is my FREAKING TWIN)
- ALL THIS TIME!!!!!!!!!! all this time.
that’s a wrap! thank you for coming to my ted talk, as always:) part two, Aristotle and Dante Dive into the Waters of the World is coming soon so stay tuned for that!
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