Legends is Bonklers

Hilarious, Sad, and Otherwise Obscure Snippets of Star Wars: Legends canon - All art is sourced from Wookiepedia

[obscurelegends]

On today’s episode of “Legends: What Even??” - Gambling and Planets

We all know about how Han Solo won the Millennium Falcon from Lando Calrissian in a game of sabacc in 5BBY. But have you heard of… Dathomir?

A planet in the Outer Rim, Dathomir was home to the Nightsisters, a group of Force-wielding Zabrak witches. And that’s cool and all, but did you know somebody had a DEED to the whole PLANET?

It’s true! Omogg, a Drackmarian warlord, owned the planet, as her family had done so for years. She put the DEED FOR THE PLANET up as collateral in a game against Han in 8ABY, and then lost. Han had plans to somehow use owning Dathomir as part of his proposing to Leia Organa, largely as a possible location for refugees from the destruction of Alderaan.

To summarize: don’t play sabacc against Han and put up big bets. You’ll lose.

[obscurelegends]

Meet Ooroo. He is ALSO a Jedi, a Celegian, a species that when they (in the rare occasions) traveled or lived off-world, had to stay in transport tanks full of the gas their native atmosphere was made of. This gas was lethal to most other species, and likewise oxygen was lethal to them. They float around through telekinesis, which is separate from any force powers (and force-sensitive Celegians are actually very rare). Like Ikrit, he was perfectly capable of using a lightsaber, and additionally was somehow adept with weapons not as commonly used by Jedi. How? Who the fuck knows.

He would die some 5000 years before the events of A New Hope during the Battle of Kirrek when he shattered his own life-support tank, flooding Sith forces with the cyanogen gas and giving his apprentice and troops a chance to escape, but succumbing to the lethal-to-him oxygen.

A brain ball was a Jedi.

[obscurelegends]

On our newest episode of “Legends Canon is Fucking Heartbreaking,” let’s talk about Chewbacca, the planet Sernpidal, and big ol’ fuckin’ moons. This tale comes primarily from the book Vector Prime, the first installment in the Yuuzhan Vong mega-arc of Legends canon, which is a very fun read.

We’ll get more into the Yuuzhan Vong later, but what you need to know for now is that they were a sentient species from another galaxy, invading the galaxy in which Star Wars primarily takes place. In 25 ABY, members of an advance force decided to destroy the planet Sernpidal by putting a gravity well on the planet that pulled one of its moons, Dobido, closer in with every rotation.

Han, Chewie, and Anakin Solo (the youngest of Han and Leia’s THREE children, none of whom are named Ben) happen to be on Sernpidal as Dobido is making its final rotations before it crashes in to the surface of the planet. The three are shepherding locals on to the Falcon, as many as can fit, when a gust of wind blew Anakin off the loading ramp. Chewie jumped down, and brought Anakin back to safety, before he himself was knocked down by another gust. Anakin piloted the Falcon as Han tried to rescue Chewie, but it was too late, and Anakin had to pull the ship up and out.

Han would resent Anakin for a while, blaming Chewbacca’s death on him. Eventually though, he would recognize that Chewie’s final act had been both willing and deliberate, and that he died exactly as a Wookie warrior, hero of the Rebellion, and beloved friend deserved: giving one final, defiant battle cry as he was literally crushed to death by the fucking moon from which he had just saved his battle-brother’s youngest child.

“‘I love you, Chewie.’ I should have told him that myself. He saved my children. He was always there for them, he DIED for them! And I never told him.” - Han Solo to C-3PO and R2-D2

(Art sourced from Wookiepedia)