Do you think I'm a freak?

Independent Credence Barebone RP from "Fantastic Beasts." Side RP blog for SeverinadeStrango. Both mun and muse are 18+. var sc_project=11638089; var sc_invisible=1; var sc_security="5acd579a";

[severinadestrango]

Low RP Activity Notice

This will be reblogged to all of my RP sideblogs.  I’ve had great experiences with a handful of people here, and I’ve treasured the times and threads and conversations that I’ve had as well.  But as a whole my time RPing on Tumblr has been, to put it shortly, terrible.  I’ve had many more negative experiences than I have positive by far and every time I even try and think about coming back, I can see no reason to.  I’ve been gaslit, s*icide baited, lied to and forced to take sides on things I never should have been dragged into in the first place, and that’s just some of the stuff that’s happened.  It doesn’t exactly leave the greatest impression on someone.

That being said I do want to come back someday.  I don’t know when that’s going to be.  I’ll try and check my PMs and respond just as I’ve been doing for all my sideblogs, and if you want to try and plot with me I’m more than open.  My muses are still as strong as ever and likely will never die.  But right now I tend to avoid this site as a whole for various reasons.

That’s all.  Just thought I’d let you know.

[obscurii]

// This mun has just seen Crimes of Grindelwald, and I’ll be updating the bio section of this blog sometime in the (hopefully near) future to reflect that.  I am still canon-compliant!  To all my writing partners who are not CoG compliant, that’s totally fine and I am still more than willing to write threads with you <3

[severinadestrango]

To anyone/everyone wondering where I am or where the fuck I went - I’m still here and lurking and I still check my PMs!  I’m not going anywhere, I’ve just hit the worst mental health drop in years and I’m slowly regathering my own pieces.  Feel free to come and ramble with me anytime <3  I’m just as present as I was before.

[obscurii]

“I’ll always be there to save you.”

|| protective sentence starters

When those words came from Mara, Credence could truly believe them.  She’d done the impossible in the past, she’d found him when he needed her most, and she never failed to jump in again every time after that until they’d finally managed to break Credence away from Mary Lou.  For years he’d thought that he would have grown and lived and died in that church - and yet here they both were, curled up on the small couch in front of the fireplace like a pair of lazy cats.

It was perfect.

“You’ve already done so much,” he whispered, as if afraid to disturb the quiet, cozy ambience of the room, “And.  And I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to thank you.”

[obscurii]

“Shh, it’s okay. I’m right here.”

|| Comforting Edition {Sentence Starters}

It wasn’t real.  None of it was.  Modesty wasn’t dead and he wasn’t in the church and he wasn’t with Ma and he didn’t have to fear the swing of the belt or the switch or even the back of her hand, she was gone and none of this was real.  However, that didn’t do anything to slow the frantic pounding of his heart, or to quell the strange urge to run, run from something - he didn’t know what.

But none of it was real - Percival was.  

“Not real,” he hiccuped, his words muffled due to his head being pressed into Percival’s shoulder.  This certainly wasn’t the first time he’d woken them both up sobbing, and he was sure that it wouldn’t be the last - but that certainly didn’t make it any less shameful.

[obscurii]

❝ what’s gotten into you? you don’t sound like yourself. ❞

||              if we were villains    ❧    sentence starters

Shaking his head, Credence felt his knees give out as he collapsed to the floor, leaning heavily against the wall as he clamped his hands over his ears, his head.  He should have known better, though - of course that wouldn’t stop the terrible ringing.  Nothing would.  Already, he could feel bits and pieces of what remained of his humanity slipping away, he could practically sense himself dissolving into that terrible black mist, and he fought, he fought with all his might to stay firmly planted on the floor, in solid form.

“I’m scared,” he whimpered, curling up even tighter, “Help me, Mister Graves, please!”  He was going to hurt him.  And so many more - Credence knew what this thing inside of him was capable of.  However, the most frightening part was knowing that he could do absolutely nothing to stop it.

[obscurii]

“You help me to love myself because how could I have earned your heart if I wasn’t a good enough person to deserve it?”

|| SFW Romance Sentence Meme

Credence let go of a breath that he’d been holding for several seconds now.  It wasn’t something he ever thought he would hear Mister Graves say, nor was it something that he had expected, but without even realizing it, Mister Graves had just laid one of Credence’s greatest fears - that he was a burden who could only take without reciprocating - to rest.  

He’d done something - oh thank God, he’d done something to help!

“You deserve it all,” he said, sliding a little closer to Percival on the couch and tentatively reaching out, wrapping his fingers around one hand with all the care in the world.  After everything he’d done for Credence?  He’d earned Credence’s very heart and soul, and more.

[obscurii]

✪ –A sleepy hug

|| ⨳ — TYPES OF HUGS;

[✪ –A sleepy hug]

Credence had thought he was dreaming at first when he felt those arms curl around him, just holding him, drowsy and sleepy and floating three inches above the mattress in a blissful, empty state.  But then he didn’t wake up, not even when he pinched himself, hard, on the inside of the wrist.

Mister Graves really was hugging him, and Credence was struck with the sudden and inexplicable urge to smile.  This was real, and he was here!  As if it would make any difference at all, he made sure to keep as quiet as possible, so as not to disturb the moment.

[obscurii]

Rough Touch - Let's be honest they're all from Percival unless I specify otherwise...

|| Send ‘rough touch’

[20: My muse grabs their muse’s wrists.]

“Don’t go, please!”  Credence cried, latching onto Mister Graves’ wrists as if his life depended on it - for to some degree, it did.  This was all he had left, this was everything - this one chance to finally belong somewhere that he was not a burden to everyone around him.  His sisters wouldn’t face Ma’s wrath in his stead, as he knew she tended to take out her frustrations on them whenever he was not conveniently around.  And Ma?  Well, she’d made it clear how much misery he’d brought onto her - at least that would be lifted.

But even to the one person who had believed him despite fully knowing all of this, and what he could do, Credence had proven himself to be, again, an abject failure.

“I’m sorry,” he whimpered pathetically, hanging his head as he choked on his own sobs, because yes, he truly was that desperate.  “I’m - I’m so sorry, I swear I won’t fail you!”

[obscurii]

“Do you want me to stay with you?” (thebarebonesisters from Modesty)

|| Soothing Sentence Starters

Credence poked his head out from underneath his thin blanket.  He didn’t know he’d woken Modesty up - it certainly hasn’t been his intent to.  In fact, he usually tried his hardest to muffle any noises that he made in the middle of the night, so as not to bother them - although apparently it was not to be.

“Modesty,” he whispered, disentangling himself from the blanket and sitting up on the little cot, “Of course you can stay, and - and I’d - I’d not want to impose.”  The last thing he wanted was for her to lose precious sleep and rest because he had been too weak to contain himself.  “Did - did I wake you, Modesty…?”

@thebarebonesisters

[obscurii]

Hanging onto his words as if they were the gospel, Credence nodded almost eagerly.  He would remember that, of course, even if he didn’t fully understand its meaning at the current moment.  You deserve nothing less.  It almost sounded fake, and he would have thought it so had he not known that Percival wouldn’t lie to him.

“I do want to,” he breathed, just barely managing not to stumble over the words, “And - and I’ll try and remember.”  Credence couldn’t lie - he didn’t know how successful he would be.  He didn’t even know how to start or where to start, re-teaching himself how to think - but he certainly would do what he could.

[obscurii]

Instinctively, Credence tightened his grip a little when he felt Percival trying to leave - not so much that he could not easily step away, of course, but it was more of an involuntary motion - a split second of no, please don’t go.  Confused, he looked up at Percival with wide, wondering eyes.

“Yes?”  He said.  There was a horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach and it felt suspiciously like it always did when something was about to go terribly wrong.  He’d almost never been wrong before in the past when it came to that, and he prayed that this would be the first time that he was.  Nevertheless, whatever Percival had to say?  He would listen, of course.  “Is - is something the matter?”

Almost instantly afterwards, he drew back a little, as if bracing himself from whatever was to come next.

[obscurii]

God help him, it was everything that Credence wanted to hear, everything he’d needed to hear.  He was scared and afraid and in pain and alone, and along came Mister Graves, promising that he would try his hardest to take away those troubles with a wave of his hand, as he had done so many times before with the lashes that Ma had left on his palms the nights before their meetings in the past.

“I’m trying, Mister Graves,” Credence whispered, “I’ll - I’ll keep trying.  I promise, I promise!”  He wouldn’t let him down - not him, the one person who had actually given him a chance instead of refusing to see past his exterior.  To Mister Graves, Credence was not a freak - he was a fellow human being, and that was all he had ever wanted - not to be alone.  Just knowing that there was a possibility that he might not be the only one with such a condition was enough to spur him onwards.

Surely it could not be him - yes, there was something deeply wrong with him, he was unusual, but Mister Graves was looking for a child.  A young child - and deep down, he hoped and prayed that it would not be too late for this one.  They would both join the rest then - and Credence would never have to be alone.  

He couldn’t take his eyes off of Mister Graves now, not with the way that he was gently gripping his chin, tilting his head back, staring into his eyes with the seeming intent of boring into his soul.  These were the eyes of his savior - even if he could have, Credence wouldn’t have wanted to look away, and this was why he would never stop trying, no, he would try harder than ever to find this child.

[obscurii]

“Very much so, Mister Graves,” said Credence, sitting back a little on his heels.  What an odd question to ask, he thought - of course he was happy, he was happier than he ever had been in months.  He no longer was living in that church, he no longer felt utterly alone - and for the first time in his life, he was beginning to regain the hope that perhaps he did not have to hide what he truly was from everyone.

But was Mister Graves happy?  

He’d been through a lot, Credence knew - but to some degree, he could never know.  He’d never had his identity stolen from him like an inexpensive jacket, he’d never been forced to watch as another malicious person paraded around wearing his face and skin, utterly helpless.  Well, the helpless part he felt on a daily basis - but other than that there wasn’t much, not that that would stop him from trying as best as he could.

“Is something...is something wrong?”  More so, he wondered if he had done anything wrong, and hoped desperately that it was not the case.

[grievng-deactivated20201229]

[obscurii]

Autumn Preferences for Your Muse!

Rules: Bold what your muse prefers, and then tag whoever you wish. Tagged By: @muchmorethanmuses Tagging: @sorceressmaralane @soulfulauror @magiccaretaker @lupimorph @gigglcwatcrr @lesrevecrs @shypericn @witchesnevercry @quiirinus @ofhisbravery

1. go apple picking vs. go on a hay ride 2. scary vs. sweet 3. sweaters vs. boots 4. socks vs. mittens 5. bonfires vs. football 6. trick-or-treating vs. watch scary movies 9. bake pie vs. bake cookies 10. rain vs. fog 11. black cats vs. owls 12. ghosts vs. wizards 13. harry potter vs. halloweentown 14. go hiking vs. sleep in 15. cinnamon vs. nutmeg 16. reading vs. writing 17. hot chocolate vs. tea 18. live in a cabin in a forest vs. have it be fall 24/7 19. candy apples vs. caramel apples 20. blankets vs. pillows 21. roasted marshmallows vs. roasted chestnuts 22. coffee vs. apple cider 23. red leaves vs. orange leaves 24. braids vs. bows 25. scented candles vs. the smell of fresh baked goods 26. carve pumpkins vs. make pumpkin pie 27. pumpkin spice lattes vs. chai lattes 28. coats vs. oversized sweaters 29. beanies vs. berets 30. candy corn vs. peanut butter cups 32. jump in a pile of leaves vs. swing on a tire 33. corn maze vs. haunted house 34. bob for apples vs. visit a pumpkin patch 35. whipped cream on hot chocolate vs. marshmallows on hot chocolate

[obscurii]

Despite his everlasting trust in Mister Graves, Credence sincerely doubted that he actually was, as the other had put it, a growing boy.  He’d not grown in years - it had always been the same.  Awkwardly tall, as gangly as a withering tree.  Nevertheless, he followed Mister Graves anyways, obedient as ever.  The promise of food and a warm bed seemed like paradise itself, and Mister Graves, well - he was his guardian angel of sorts.

“Thank you, sir,” he whispered, not even sure if his words would reach his protector - but he was grateful, and immensely so.