In “Death, Dying and Bereavement,” one of my FAVORITE courses at Binghamton University, we were given the homework assignment to kill off a fictional character, and I chose the one and only Oscar the Grouch. Here now for the first time is the story about how Sesame Streets grouchiest resident tragically passed away 5 years ago to the day. It was a typical morning as Oscar the Grouch was sound asleep in his trash can on Sesame Street. Unbeknownst to Oscar, his favorite Trashman Bruno called in sick for the first time in his 40 years on the job and Ralf Frigman, a substitute trash collector, was assigned to Bruno’s route. Sadly though, Ralf was not informed that the trash can located at 123 Sesame Street was NOT to be collected. As Ralf listened to the Sesame Street’s 70’s hit “I Love Trash” on his iPod he quickly picked up said trash can and emptied all of its contents into the back of the Garbage Truck and since it was about full he pressed the compact button on the rear of the truck. As Oscar awoke and noticed the predicament he was in, his screaming was not loud enough for Ralf to hear over the sounds of his music. Ralf finished up his assigned route and dumped the full contents of his truck into the local landfill. When Oscars pet worm Slimey awoke a few hours later on the concrete floor just outside of Oscars garbage can he squeezed through the hole at the bottom of his can to wake him up and discovered to his horror that the can was completely empty! Word spread quickly through the community about Oscars disappearance and the frantic search began to find him. When Bruno found out Oscar was missing he began to panic and reached out to Ralf to find out what happened. Ralf said that everything seemed normal, but when he learned that Oscars can was not to be emptied the world learned of Oscars demise. Oscar’s shredded carcass was later discovered by Slimey at the local landfill and since he was Jewish, he was immediately buried, but instead of the typical casket, Oscar was buried inside the actual can he resided in all of his life as specified in his will. To this day, if you were to visit Oscars grave you would find his pet worm Slimey guarding his friends grave. In leu of flowers or laying a pebble or small stone on the deceased grave, as specified in the Jewish tradition, Oscar requests visitors leave a bag of trash at his grave. The sign post next to Oscars can reads, “Oscar the Grouch, 11/10/69 - 10/31/09 ~ Leaves behind his girlfriend Grundgetta and the Grouch Family.” Below is a quote from Oscars Friend Elmo who wrote, “Elmo loves Oscar very much.” - Elmo
