EAT YOUR HEART OUT

TIFFANY. eternally twenty-five. WANNA MAKE A MONSTER? take the parts of yourself that make you uncomfortable. your weaknesses, and thoughts, vanities and hunger-- and pretend they're across the room. it's too ugly to be human. it's too ugly to be you.

[obsxeunae-blog]

─ without answers.

[obstiff]

obsxeunae:

words like those could easily be just as confusing towards another witch as they are towards anyone ─ but this isn’t what eunae concerns herself with. instead she finds herself watching the waved traces of magic around the woman’s form and how they develop her shape, and she wonders ─ because wondering is the first step in every manifested idea. 

“i can read it for you,” she offers in time, lifting her gaze to meet the other’s. “it could help. with those answers.” 

the more tiffany speaks, the more she doesn’t understand. her emotions are a strange thing, having been pushed aside for so many years; hidden in the ruse to please and not give thought to any intentions in her mind. so many years of pent up feelings have mushed them altogether, making it hard for tiffany to figure out if she’s happy, mad, sad or anything else. it’s frustrating, tiring. if tiffany could damage her nerves enough so she didn’t have to feel, she would do it in a heartbeat.

(but that means forgetting about the happiness that the thought of her child would give her. would tiffany give that up for the frustration to leave?)

her head lifts to address the witch before her. tiffany’s eyes are dull and blank as she watches her speak, careful and slow like her usual drawl. her head slowly cocks to the side, her brows furrowing. tiffany understands, but in the same go she doesn’t understand anything at all. not to try to understand? she can’t wrap her mind around it.

a disgruntled noise leaves her mouth, lips parting as she looks down and stares at her feet instead. her throat bobs with a swallow, a sigh leaving her mouth as she lifts a tired gaze up to the girl, a small-- soft smile on her mouth as she slowly nods her head.

“if you don’t mind.” she chuckles quietly. “you lost me on all this, understanding. i feel like i’ve missed something along the way.”

[vlovers]

[obstiff]

FRAYED *

[obstiff]

obsxjuri:

another sigh, another hopeless look thrown to the older woman; another moment of silent despair to sink in, twisted in the slightest ways by the alcohol in her system. there’s no doubt ─ and no changing, truly, the connection that juri has with her maker. it’d be impossible to sever it, she thinks ─ how could she? how could anyone?

“you feel it too, right?” she breathes eventually, drawing circles along the rim of her original empty glass. “when your maker ─ wherever they are ─ is gone for too long? missing them this much… it’s normal, isn’t it?” 

her nails tap a rhythm on the table, eyes studying the surroundings before shifting-- darting back to the girl that knocks back the drink she had given as quickly as her. blinking, her brow raises in amusement, smile twitching before she leans forward. her arms fold on the table as she leans, hunches forward-- but looking still as graceful as she can. hooded eyes watch juri carefully, her words going in one ear as she lets them process and settle. her tongue prods against the inside of her cheek.

what juri talks about, tiffany understands in a sense. perhaps not for the particular person in question-- but tiffany can relate. it’s painful to think about her family, it’s painful to think about her fiance, and it’s painful to think about the child she never got a chance to truly love. those attachments, they hurt-- still do, but time has since dulled the pain to a gentle throbbing. not uncomfortable, but never forgotten.

“too much feeling hurts, juri-yah.” she comments quietly. “feelings for anyone. whether they be good, bad-- if it’s too much, they will hurt. and when they’re gone, you...will also hurt. i can understand that. that’s the sad part about feelings, my darling.” her smile curves softly, sadly. “it’s a risk you take. i’ve known people to become detached and uncaring because of it. and that too-- is very, very sad. to me, at least. i pity those people.”

tiffany lies in a grey area. she can understand, but at the same time-- she’s become the biggest hypocrite. she can boast about attachment, how painful it is, how painful it is without it-- but tiffany has long since grown numb, long since cared about anyone else around her. no one stays, no one compares-- no one understands her enough. perhaps she doesn’t care enough to attach.

perhaps she cares too much. tiffany isn’t quite sure anymore.

her expression freezes at the question, gaze dropping to juri’s movements. her jaw is tense, and her fingers twitch on her hand, nails curling against her flesh-- leaving small white welts in their wake. her tongue feels heavy as she swipes it against her lower lip.

“....no.” she answers after a moment, soft smile twitching into something sharper, more sardonic. “i don’t...feel that way. i don’t miss them. not one bit.” you can’t miss someone you murdered. “...but in your...situation, yes. that’s normal. you have a close relationship with your maker then, i take?” she lifts a hand to brush her hair over her shoulder, hold her head up with her palm as she addresses the girl with lowered lids. “close enough for you to miss them this much.”

[obsjeongguk-blog]

« sting. »

[obstiff]

obsjeongguk:

“I’m not,” the quiet murmur is spoken after a moment of contemplation, of denial towards yearning for this warmth that he has been deprived of for so long. “And neither should you.”

facing the back of his head is comforting. his eyes see far too deep in her own self that it’s almost frightening. is she that transparent? is she that obvious? has her carefully crafted mask chipped so horrifically that he can practically reach his hand in and tear her apart with only just a few small words? it’s terrifying to her. tiffany may be brave by stephanie is a coward by nature. so she finds comfort in the lack of his gaze and instead stares with a forlorn look towards his head. her lower lip quivers, her fingers tremble. everything about her begins to crumble.

and when he falls back, her hands lift, gently touching his flesh as he leans. fingers press into flesh, gently-- and she’s still shaking, trembling. her throat bobs with the effort it takes to swallow and she lets out a shuddering breath. her eyes are stinging-- she swears she’s cried enough tears in her lifetime to be done but here she is. on the brink of a breakdown and her tear ducts begging to be unleashed.

“i’ve built myself up for years.” she manages to whisper, a broken tone towards his form as she shifts, shuffling closer to the warmth he provides. her hands travel, pressing on his shoulders as her head presses against the back of his own, shaky breathing inhaling and releasing as she shivers, fingers tightening around his form as a strangled noise akin to a whimper leaves her mouth. “...and yet it still falls and breaks as if i...as if i hadn’t done anything at all.”

and then she’s sniffling. there’s wetness in her eyes and she swears it’s about to fall. a whine leaves her, louder than she can help it. the shaking begins and she wants it to stop. the weakness is slipping out and she feels panicked, vulnerable-- but jeongguk provides comfort and a means to escape, so she falls in so easily, so desperate and craving for the attention and the sliver of humanity he provides.

“why is life so cruel.” it’s a question she doesn’t expect an answer to. liquid slips down her cheek, and she doesn’t care to wipe it away. “why is life so unfair to us? what have we done to suffer the damage that we have?”

[obstiff]

NIGHTLIFE *

[obstiff]

obsjeongguk:

“It’s odd seeing someone behave as carefree as this, all things considered.” The other may have complained about the mention of chaos, or respectively that of Chaos Minions, but it seemed like an unavoidable topic. The surrounding world was affected too much for the mention of them to be kept to a minimum, yet the fear which was driven deep into people’s hearts seemed to not reach her. This, too, Jeongguk considers to be intriguing.

her amusement only grows, smile curving even higher on twitching lips. she chuckles, a soft sound as she curls her legs tighter into herself. she drums her fingers on her arm, nails pressing into flesh as she watches him for a long moment. the frustration evident in his form-- making her hum. her tongue clicks against the roof of her mouth, head lifting the slightest bit to address him. “then what did you mean, sweet stranger?” tiffany raises one brow. “don’t get upset. help me understand.” there’s a natural nurturing tone in her words, present when she speaks to those that have the image of being younger, more childlike. he’s such a boy, a child-- it makes her heart ache and hurt for the lack of her own, but she squashes that feeling, the twitch in her finger instant as breath catches in her throat.

but she exhales, smile still present on her face. tiffany will be damned if she lets her image fail her now.

“you’re blushing.” the comment is quiet, a murmur, and before she can help it there is fondness in her tone, curving onto her mouth. it’s a nice sight, much prefered than the rigid form he had been giving her prior. he looks younger this way, less sharp and structured.

“...i think it’s silly to waste time on fear.” tiffany shifts, letting her head fall back on her arms, eyes fluttering shut as if she were getting ready to nap the night away. “i can protect myself just fine. i shouldn’t have to hold myself back from enjoying the night just because someone thinks it’s funny to play games of murder and instill fear into everyone.” her eyes flicker open once more, half-lidded as she watches the male across from her with soft-- though watchful eyes. “i’ve seen and been through much more fearful things than a couple of silly threats.” she’s felt death, tasted it-- practiced it on others; she has nothing to fear from threats that are made to cause havoc, or more ironically-- chaos. “i won’t indulge a child playing  silly mind games.”

and then she’s giggling, light laughter filling the air, the corners of her eyes crinkling up. “are you not as carefree? are you not as worried?” her tongue presses against her lower lip, weighing her words carefully. “or are you someone i should be wary of?”

[obsjeongguk-blog]

« sting. »

[obstiff]

obsjeongguk:

“I’m the same as you,” the words are spoken much quieter than the rest, hushed almost. “So, I understand this - you,” if words could be the equivalent of a bullet, then they would form wounds - new ones, but they would tear open the old, “You don’t have to pretend.”

How uncanny for Jeongguk, to catch himself hoping that she wouldn’t.

she wonders, briefly-- in the far corners of her mind if maybe he does understand. maybe that’s why he’s approaching her like this, stating such words with confidence, gentleness. as if she’s some sort of scared animal. had she had any less control, she’d likely be shaking, voice trembling as if she were a little lamb up for slaughter. but she doesn’t-- she has much more control, much more than that. she’s not going to fall apart at a young boy’s words, no matter how deep they cut, no matter how true they are.

fake it until you make it.

but it’s hard. it’s hard to gather composure when you feel the seams snapping, breaking-- the mask falling away to leave her scrambling to pick herself back up.

he claims he’s the same, but is he really? is she so transparent that he can see it, see the trembling and inner workings of a woman so ruined-- to the point where he has to say something about it? she wishes he had stayed silent, if that were the case. things would have been easier to handle then. her throat feels tight as she swallows, mouth parting-- they’re stained a darker red than before, blood still dribbling from a cut. she tastes it, gives no recognition to it. there’s other matters at hand, far more important.

you don’t have to pretend. but doesn’t she? it’s the easiest way to stay alive. adapting to what’s around you, molding yourself and forcing yourself to be considered acceptable. stephanie hadn’t been acceptable, not as a human, full of sorrow and despair--and not as a newborn sucker full of raw anger and even more despair. she needs to pretend to keep herself alive, it’s the reason she molded herself into tiffany and it’s what kept her alive thus far.

but she doesn’t want to pretend. she wants to full back into her sorrow, lose herself into the loneliness until someone gives her pity, gives her the one thing she craves the most.

                    but life is cruel, and she’ll never be able to have that connection, never have the child she wanted so badly in life.

she steps-- quick and swift. her kind have always been fast, but tiffany’s faster than most. she moves until she’s facing the back of him. she lets out a breathless laugh, the curve of her tone cracking in a moment of hysteria. it’s easier if she doesn’t see his face, catch sight of the eyes that are plucking her apart, stitch by stitch.  “you don’t want to see that.” she breathes. “it’s...unsightly.” her argument is weak. it’s a battle she knows she’s losing because her mind won’t allow her to win it; it’s the fear of falling apart and her pride that keeps it together, staying together by strands. “it’s ugly. it hurts.” and there it is, the slightest bit of weakness that slips out. the raw emotion that flitters from a few simple words that have her choking on her breath.

“aren’t you pretending?” tiffany shoots the question at him, accusatory. “then it’s the same for you. you don’t have to pretend.” she feels naked with how calm, with how utterly composed the other seems compared to the slowly dwindling composure that she’s struggling against.

[obstiff]

FRAYED *

< * continued from here! >

her fingernails tap a rhythm on the table. expression soft and amused as she watches the girl, eyes blinking slowly, languidly in her silence. she drags her eyes away from the other’s features to study her drink, the liquid staring back at her; it’s horrid taste, alcohol never having been something she was fond of. her tongue clicks against the roof of her mouth, teeth pressing into her lip before she returns full attention to the whining girl before her.

“if it happens too much,” tiffany muses, fingers wrapping around her glass. “then perhaps you should...cut back? it’s not healthy. it could have repercussions.” her shoulders lift in a shrug. she lifts her drink to her mouth and takes a small sip, the taste foul and disgusting but it doesn’t breach her features. she swipes her tongue over her mouth with a hum and sets her glass down. she pushes it gently towards the other with a small nod, a relinquish of the beverage. “it’s hard to know.” the female chooses her words carefully. “when it becomes...too much. it would depend on what your limits are. if they breach them or make you second guess your actions, i suppose that would mean it’s become too much.” a pause. a chuckle leaves her mouth. “or if it begins to change you. that’s a surefire sign.”

she watches the girl in amusement, tilting her head at her as a laugh leaves her mouth, a light sound as she bares her teeth in a beaming grin. “of course. it will hurt as long as you’re attached. and after-- if the attachment was strong enough.” her arms cross her chest, resting under her breasts. “attachment...in this type of place, it’s dangerous.” tiffany muses, fingers tapping on her arm. she drags her eyes from the girl and studies the surroundings, eyes falling on nothing before settling on something just as insignificant. “you never know when your day will be your last. it happens so quickly-- it’s better to be prepared for the worst rather than to be sorry later, juri-yah.”

[sarioux]

creatures of the night (1/5) + vampires

[obsxeunae-blog]

─ without answers.

[obstiff]

obsxeunae:

“do you know why?” she asks, finally, as if she’d been deliberating the words before their formation. it’s a vague sort of question, but one she doesn’t elaborate further on. 

tiffany’s head cocks to the side. her brow raises in a silent question, mouth parting as a breath releases. tongue pressing against the back of her teeth, she hums in thought. “a reason?” she inquiries, eyes flickering from the girl to the area above her head, staring at nothing in particular, but showcasing at least a semblance of thought to the question.

“...isn’t there a reason for everything?” she shoots back, eyes flickering back down, a soft smile tugging at the corners of her lip. “i suppose there is one. whether or not it has been found remains to be unclear.” her shoulders lift in a dainty shrug, hand raising so the female could study her nails-- eyes falling over the pointed, painted tips with boredom.

“why, why indeed.” she muses. she flexes her fingers, curls them into a fist, then uncurls them. “there’s...perhaps reasons. i think-- that i am happy. but not as happy as i could be.” her teeth press into her lip, head falling forward slightly, strands of her hair moving and dangling in air at the movement. “...i guess, i could say i crave company. or attention. i could have it, but it doesn’t come in the form that i want.” a pause. tiffany releases a soft breath, sounding more similar to a scoff than anything else. “i could have anything i want, truthfully. but i don’t think any of it would make me happy. and the more i push to think about it, the less i understand.”

her mouth curves then, a smile on her face-- but it’s wry, void of amusement or mirth. “i think it’d be easy if i understood, but life unfortunately does not grant me such a luxury.”

[gyuobs-blog]

discussions.

[obstiff]

gyuobs:

Sunggyu wasn’t one for planning ahead. “Whatever the world throws at me, I’ll deal with it. My ‘Fate’ I suppose is to just be as I am.” 

                                      He’s a bit disappointing.

tiffany stares at the male, eyes half-lidded and watchful. she in takes his words with a hum, letting them sift around in her mind. her tongue swipes over her lips, hand lifting to her chin as she taps a manicured nail on her chin. brief laughter bubbles from her mouth. the actions causes her eyes to flatten and stretch into crescents. her tongue clicks against the roof of her mouth, head shaking from side to side as she shifts.

“what sort of attitude is that? you should have a bit more...positivity in that. i would highly doubt you’re a mistake. aren’t most off-spring of a man and a woman usually a surprise? a mistake? very few people in this day and age plan to have a child. i’m sure your family is no different. chin up, love.”

she glances down, averts her gaze and studies her nails instead. “shouldn’t have had you? well why not? most want to conceive some day. you should be grateful they gave you life.” tiffany pauses, mouth pursing before a sharpened smile lacking of mirth crosses her face for the briefest of moments. “some children don’t get to see the light of day. you should be honored.”

my fate is to be just as i am. tiffany raises her brows, a soft laugh leaving her mouth. she adjusts the jacket over her shoulders, playing with the collar, before smoothing her hands over the lapel of the article of clothing. “that’s a bit boring. you sound like you need a little more...excitement. a little more drive. doesn’t it get tiring?” her head cocks to the side. “if you sit by your entire life just waiting for something to happen, you won’t enjoy it as much. you should get out, break free. change your life up a bit. you’re an interesting creature. you could do quite a number of things.”

[obsjeongguk-blog]

« sting. »

[obstiff]

obsjeongguk:

The point that is waiting to be made isn’t that; those words are a momentary distraction from the thing Jeongguk wants to say. Hesitance only serves to show that he’s withholding for more reasons than one; the words he aims at the other apply to him too and that makes speaking them infinitely harder. It’s a confession, for both of them - he sighs.

“It’s you,” he looks at her dead-on, “You are your own enemy.”

the conversation has hit sensitivity-- it’s hit intimacy that tiffany hasn’t even bothered to dip her toes in. the sensitivity and vulnerability that is only utterly stephanie that leaves her feeling zapped of energy. it’s hard to put a mask of composure, that everything is beautiful and everything is wondrous when he claims such a thing. when he admits he doesn’t want to hurt her (everyone wants to hurt her, everyone wants to tear her apart from the inside out to see what makes her tick).

her jaw clicks with tension. she exhales with barely concealed aggravation through her nose. her eyes flutter as they shut and reopen, a wheeze of a laugh leaving her. it’s isn’t her natural one, the tinkling laugh she gives in good graces or to charm others with the twitch of her lips. there are no hiding behind such things, not when jeongguk’s digging his words into her stitches and ripping her apart at the seams.

“that,” she states, eyes flickering, wild-- throat bobbing as she swallows and gathers in a breath. “that is a very bold statement.” her laughter sounds off, sounds so utterly strange and foreign to her own ears. composure thwarted, everything that’s kept her together thus far dwindling at the smallest bit of stephanie that leaks through tiffany’s sharp, jagged walls.

vulnerability is an ugly thing, and she’s scrambling for some sort of stronghold.

“i am the greatest thing i have.” she shudders, teeth pressing into her lip-- cutting. fangs are extended and it’s unsightly, to be in such a state of turbulence. “you...you do not know a thing about me. what on earth gives you that sort of...revelation?” her hands are shaking; why are they shaking? fingers twist and curl, press nails into skin that leave marks; there’s still blood in the air. pungent now as ever.

“i’m my only ally.” she breathes. she glances at him, meets eyes-- and she wonders what he sees. it can’t be anything good, anything perfected; tiffany’s falling apart and leaving nothing but the childish notations of stephanie to filter through. “that...that much i know. and what are you? who are you to make such allegations at me?”

[gyuobs-blog]

discussions.

[obstiff]

gyuobs:

“…But,” he spoke, voice a bit softer, “You’re you. You are able to decide your fate now, no one else. Though things were altered, you have the choice to make the best of it. I’m sure you will, you’re a smart one.”

she’ll blame it on age. she’ll blame it on being born in a time period where very little was explained in riddles-- tiffany’s used to things being blunt, straight-forward. answers are given without a curtain of misunderstanding or possible confusion. the way her eyebrow cocks and head tilts on instinct, ears picking up his words. to be in pain-- is she in pain? not now. she doesn’t hurt at all. there is no pain, and if his words are true, does she exist?

of course she does.                  (she isn’t in pain. she’s just lonely.)

“...strange. i wasn’t asking a question that warranted you explaining the nature of how we came to exist, did i?” the amusement shines in her words, smile on her lips aiding to it as she laughs. it’s a tinkling sound, her eyes crinkling up with the action. “mistake, hm? that’s a sad way to put it, my dear.”

 he speaks like an old man. with wisdom beyond his years. it frustrates her, but tiffany only lets the twitch in her brow display how she feels, clicking her tongue as she shakes her head, amused smile softening just a tad bit as she glances away. instead, she focuses on her nails, sharpened and a matte maroon in color. “...your kind are so strange. do you all spout off the same? how cute.” her tongue prods against her cheek. “i did decide my fate. i decided it once i cut the ties to a monster and ruined him. an eye for an eye-- that was my decision, my redemption. and it’s the best idea i’ve ever had.”

tiffany’s tongue slips over her lips, raising her eyes to the male, curiosity shining in depths as she hums. “have you decided your fate?”

[obstiff]

"Are you really happy now?"

sentence starters // still accepting!

are you happy now? what a question. a question to end, a question to start all answers.

why wouldn’t she be happy? she’s alive (as alive as she can be), she’s living comfortably. she isn’t struggling-- she has company at the beck of her finger, is always well fed. she’s never lonely (liar), never wondering what could have been had she not fallen to temptation at the pivotal point of her life.

she’s no longer being tormented by a monster. no longer forced to love and be a perfect obedient doll for a fiend who wanted nothing but to dominate her, control every aspect of her being.

those are all reasons for being happy, aren’t they?                         so why isn’t she?

she taps her finger on her arm, trailing a pointed tip of her nail across flesh-- leaving a white, agitated line in her wake. “i’m not sure,” she offers the younger girl, tongue swiping over her lips as she lets out a lilting breath. “i could say yes, but i don’t think it would sound too genuine, my dear.”

[obstiff]

"Letting someone see you that vulnerable, it's a scary thing." (also hi~!)

sentence starters // still accepting!

tiffany would have to agree. vulnerability is a frightening thing indeed. it leaves you bare, naked to the world and for anyone to come forth and sink their teeth right in. it’s a terrifying conclusion, a terrifying reminder that on everyone’s form is a weakness, an achille’s heel that can be found.

and once it is, the aftermath is terrifying.

she heaves, breath tight on her throat. there is blood in her mouth, steady dripping down her chin from a meal she has yet to clean up. she can still feel hands on her throat, teeth in her skin-- violent flashes of memory that shake her to the bone, cause her fingers to twitch and her skin to crawl.

it’s hard to look in the male’s direction. hard to lift her eyes from the macabre mess she’s made. but she does it regardless, lifts her head, showcases her chaos and havoc in her eyes and on her teeth. 

“yes,” she breathes. “yes i suppose it is.”

[obstiff]

"it's like you don't have a care or worry in the world."

sentence starters // still accepting!

“well, of course!” she muses, pink lips curving as she giggles, finger twirling a strand of her hair as she cocks her head to the side. “why should i worry about anything when the world is at my fingertips? all i have to do is ask, and i receive.” it’s a bold, arrogant statement-- but there is very little that she has asked for and not have been given. born a princess, always a princess-- even if she has to play it by force. 

“if you worry, it becomes troublesome. too much anxiety, too many thoughts. it clutters you up and you can’t think straight. and if you don’t think straight, how on earth are you going to be able to do anything?” she shrugs her shoulders as if the answer was obvious. “i’ve lived my life being confident and not worrying about what’s going on around me. maybe take a page from my book. you’ll feel a lot better.”

you could feel invincible. 

[obstiff]

"I'm not the enemy here. But this makes me wonder who the real one is for you."

sentence starters // still accepting!

what a concept. to tiffany, everyone is an enemy unless proven otherwise. to someone who lives for survival, everyone is competition, everyone is someone out to destroy her. false pretenses behind a smile more fake than the idea that her heart still beats. 

she swallows back the feeling of suffocation, her throat tight and her jaw set as she stares at the younger male. her fingers twitch at her sides, expression shifting and falling from kindness to that of apathy, utter indifference. there’s blood in the air, in her mouth– it’s all around her but she can’t pinpoint where. tiffany cannot look away from the male and his words, how they keep her leveled and gravitate her back to the ground.

why wouldn’t he be the enemy? isn’t the natural enemy to anything supernatural one that’s supposed to maim and tear them down? a hunter for dsem are supposed to be her worst nightmare, a pain in her side; someone aimed at taking her down, driving silver and wood right into her chest.

but tiffany isn’t afraid. he’s never given her a reason to, and he’s too small– too boyish and childlike in her eyes. a boy forced to grow up too fast. 

“who do you think it is?” her voice keeps a steady monotone to match her features, dull, dead eyes staring at him as she keeps still, doesn’t move to fake her breathing. “because right this moment, i don’t think i have a clue who it is.”

[aprils-end]