Helpful Tips for Social Anxiety
Here’s another addition to my series of helpful tips! I am not a professional, just someone who has struggled with OCD and Anxiety Disorder related symptoms like Social anxiety for many years. Here are some practical tips that have helped me along the way, i hope this helps!
1. The Fake Eye Contact Trick! I have been using this trick since i was 6 years old, and it works! If you want to appear as if you’re making eye contact, look at the space between a person’s eyes. I still use this tip every single day!
2. The Shared Interest! This is a great way to make friends. If you’re in a class with someone, ask them a question or bring up a topic from that class! See someone with a t-shirt with a band or movie or artist you like? Tell them it’s cool! Not all small talk is going to lead to friendship or even a second conversation, but if talking to people more is a goal of yours- this is a great way to start.
3. Don’t fear rejection! Now I realize this is way easier said than done. Talking to that potential new friend, asking your crush on that date, sending in that job application- these are all super stressful for those of us with Social anxiety. It makes it even harder when things don’t work out because of all the effort it took to even try. Respect the other person’s decision and move on- be proud of yourself for taking a chance! You are worthy and valuable and nobody’s rejection can change that.
4. Ignore Popularity! This is more for the younger readers, because once you leave high school/college, being popular doesn’t matter one bit. Before i was an old lady of 25, I was a very shy and confused teenager who thought that it mattered how many people liked me. It doesn’t. All we need in life is one good friend, and a good friend is always better than many bad friends. Spend your time being who you are and doing what you love, that’s the time you’ll remember being worthwhile.
5. The Calming Ritual! Find a small ritual you can do in stressful situations. If I'm overwhelmed at a party or event, I'll step outside even if it’s super cold- just to take a break from the noise and overstimulation. Some other ideas include the extended bathroom break, keeping a fidget toy in your pocket, bringing a water bottle to sip on, and in some situations- just leaving when you need to.
6. The Practice Round! The most common questions i get asked when people first meet me are - What’s your job? What town are you from? What school did you go to? and How do you know (Insert event host name)? I already have an answer ready for these, and practice them to myself sometimes. This is a tip from public speaking class! Have answers ready, even if the answer is “Fuck off don’t ask me that”- practice makes perfect!
7. Self Love! All people have value, all people deserve love and acceptance. We all make mistakes, we all have embarrassing moments, we all have things we don’t like about ourselves that make us feel unworthy. Assuming you are not a racist, sexist, murderer etc. etc., you should know there is a place for you even if you haven’t found it yet. There will be people who love you exactly as you are and for who you are, i promise. All our various ‘imperfections’ are actually what make us beautiful. Keep snorting when you laugh, Keep wearing that sweater grandma gave you, Keep insisting on karaoke Thursdays, Or whatever it is that makes you, you!
And of course the ultimate tip is to seek professional help if you need it. You are not alone! I am sending my love and hope to all.
